Attraction: Part 2

[October Knight]

What things (Behavior, attitude, physical traits, emotions etc..) effect the kind of people we attract into our lives for relationships/friends?

I recently found my self at the tail end of several bad relationships (Romantic and otherwise), and I thought to myself: Why the hell do I keep getting these straight up psychos? Then I took a look at myself, and realized certain aspects of my behavior were creating a perfect welcoming mat for nut jobs, stalkers and psychos.


This is a tough question, but thank you for taking the time to answer. I would love to hear input from other people on this.



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[Kitti]

I think that self-confidence is a big thing about who you attract!
Dominating personalities want someone to dominate and tend to go after people who are malleable or easily controlled.
Naughty behavior tends to get people who see you in that light and don't want to know your good side. (If you get branded a party girl, etc. most guys don't go after you because you seem like someone they want to have long talks with...)

These aren't always the case, of course, but I think it's very typical.

I was really private in school, as well as shy, and because of this I do not have any friends from my classes. I didn't open up enough and I ended up with people who only shared my work ethic and thus wanted to be part of project groups with me and the like.

 

[Diana]

Behavior and attitude is prolly the biggest things. Followed by physical appearance. How you present yourself to other people and out in public will make a huge difference of what sort of people will be willing to talk to you.


For example, I always ALWAYS smile at strangers. When someone smiles at you, you can't help but smile back. XD It makes people feel comfortable. And makes you more approachable. Of course, there's also something about me that TOO comfortable, so -everyone- wants to talk to me, including the crazypants. .__.; I am a passive person who listens more than talks, so people want to talk to me.


I think the important thing, is that you have to treat -yourself- well and with respect before other people will do it. c___c So if you're always talking about how much you suck, or dressing like a hobo, or shooting up cocaine and banging whores... People are going to treat you like shit. You're doing it to yourself, so why should THEY treat you any better?

So if you want to attract nice people, you have to be good to yourself and the people around you. BUT don't let the pushy people take advantage. Know when to say no, when to back off, and when to tell them to fuck off. If you are not happy to see those people, those people are not good for your life. >:[

 

[Anglkate]

My problem with relationships is that I keep finding either really clingy/needy people or the opposite where they aren't needy but sort of possessive/jealous. Not on purpose, mind you, it just happens. I naturally am (or try to be) a very caring person toward people. I want to help and will help if I can (hence why I'm going into the profession I'm going into). At the same time i'm sort of shy/quiet which means I can sometimes (not always) get pushed around some. Though I won't take all crap trust me on that!

I do much better finding friends than 'relationships'. I try to get along with most and hang around people who I have similar interests with etc. Seems (according to attraction part one) that I draw a good group with geeks/nerds (but i am one so nya!!) :p but yeah. Your personality and who you are are important in finding that group of people to be friends with and hang out. Similar to Kitti I don't have a large group of close friends, but a sort of smaller close knit one. I prefer it that way (not a large group girl haha).

Finding a good balance, I think, is key.