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Asmodeus

Certified Subdomain
Original poster
LURKER MEMBER
MYTHICAL MEMBER
Posting Speed
  1. Speed of Light
Writing Levels
  1. Douche
Preferred Character Gender
  1. No Preferences
In an effort to demonstrate how my natural charisma and charm translates over into real life, I wrote down everything that I said at work today.

Enjoy.




Morning. (to the cleaner)

Sorry. (stepping over the cleaner's hoover)

Morning. (to the boss)

Oooookay, so you want me out there?

Right, no problem.

Are you okay with that?

Yeah, just about, yeah that's fine.

Yes please. (someone offering me tea)

Oh, you've got it. (realising Gill had my phone)

No, Gill had it. (telling someone that Gill had my phone)

Any messages?

Okay, thanks.

Grandkids, TV and a brass band. (explaining to my boss why I had to shout down the phone at a customer)

Okay.

Oh balls! (when I entered the wrong thing into the database)

No thanks. (someone offering me tea)

Oh balls! (when I opened the wrong document)

Is the printer dead? Oh, no...

Thanks.


(at this point, 4 hours had passed and so I took my lunch break)


Okay.

Okay, thanks.

Thanks.

Hedjaaaaar! (me saying a customer's name in a cockney accent for no particular reason)

Ah.

Oh for fuck's sake! (can't remember why I said this)

Yeah, you'll need the MOT even if you are changing vehicles, because you still need to get to the centre. (this sentence almost exhausted my social faculties)

Yes please. (someone offering me tea)

Thank you.

You got a moment, Paul? There's a GP asking about static visual field defects. Way beyond me. Thanks. (I had to make eye contact for 5 whole seconds while saying this)

Cheers.

Frost! Frost! Frrrrrost! Frrrrrrrrrrrrrost! (me practicing a customer's name before calling him)

Any more referrals out here? Hmm, okay.

Wassup? Oh yeah, that's for rebooking. Just make sure "Mid-March" is scrawled all over it. Cool. (I pretended to be really cheerful when I said this)

Okay.

Yes, thank you.

Yes, you too.

Goodnight.

Right, have a good weekend. Goodnight.

Goodnight.

You too.

(It was now 5 o'clock and I went home, having said an average of only 20 words per hour to other human beings)



And yes, I'm very aware that it does read like a porn script. Except for all the offers of tea.
 
OH SNAP, SO HIS NAME IS FROST?

NOW WE KNOW!!!
 
Its like you cloned yourself and had said clone stalk you and make a documentary...but that would make it an autobiography.
 
....

Next week you better make a huge post including that dialogue, but also including what you did, how you did it, BASICALLY A GIANT RP POST.

GET TO IT.
 
You need more Sakura-types in your life.
You don't talk nearly enough in a WHOLE DAY OF WORK! D:

 
I AGREE WITH SAKURA.

SO WE'RE SHIPPING A CLONE OVER TO YOUR WORK!

IT COULD BE LIKE A REAL LIFE VERSION OF DRAKE AND ELLIE, BUT WITHOUT THE SPACE SHIP!
 
We don't want to think that far, Tegan.


(Asmo... the horror...)
 
xDD
I'm tempted to say EWWW, that would be so WEIRD D<
but when you think about it, Ellie + Drake = the coolest person ever! Genius, serious, funny, & upbeat all in one!
 
.... BREED TO MAKE AN AWESOME PERSON!
 
*Holds Sakura close and never lets go.* ;_;

*Glares at Asmo.*

You'll never have her!
 
/snuggles close to Tegan/ my heeeroooooo <3

*snort giggle*
I said DRAKE and ELLIE T___T
I shouldn't have said anything
 
You know, Darkness, either way you go you're feeding his ego. I'm certain it makes the man feel as good when people troll him as when they e-stroke his member.
 
*feels all warm and fuzzy*

PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT MY LIFE YAY!
 
Asmo, that warm and fuzzy feeling?

That's urine running down your leg.
 
Because I posted in it, Vay.

It's because of me.