Asmo's Body

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Blind Hemingway, Mar 10, 2010.

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  1. Money.

    But in the event we don't get money, it'd be nice to have a critique page like Faber, where we can perhaps post an excerpt from a project we're working on and see what needs tweaking and whatnot. I'd also like to see a weekly writing prompt posted that we can all post to and write a short little scenario off, just so we can exercise those big brains of ours (plus I'd like to see what everyone else comes up with).

    I mean, I'll probably have more ideas later. Right now it's almost midnight here and I'm about to crash lol
     
  2. 7:09AM, MR. MAC'S FLAT

    The alarm vibrates, perched procariously on the edge of the cabinet. Mr Mac slapped the 'sleep' button atop the device, and it became silent again.

    7:14AM, MR. MAC'S FLAT

    The timer kicking into life, Mac's alarm clock went off once more. A fist came down to silence it this time.

    7:19AM, MR. MAC'S FLAT

    Another fist this time, more forceful than the last.

    7:24AM, MR. MAC'S FLAT


    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUtJothJwuE"]YouTube- Get Out The Door - Velvet Revolver[/ame]​

    “RIGHT THAT'S IT! FUCK YOU, ALARM CLOCK!!”

    Staggering out of bed in a drunken haze, Mac grabbed the alarm and hurled it out the window. Grabbing the nearest whisky bottle, he downed the remains as he pulled on his suit for work. Finally, he moved back over to his bed, grabbed his shoes and shoved the sleeping figure also occupying the bed onto the floor. “FUN NIGHT, KELLY WAS IT? CALL ME. NOW GET THE FUCK OUT MY HOUSE.”

    8:42, THE HIGH SCHOOL

    School children scattered as the Ford Focus swerved violently from the parking lot and onto the pavement. Mac hammered on the horn as he forced the car to stop, parking across two spaces. Staggering out the vehicle with a hip flask in hand and a messenger bag over his shoulder, Mac moved past a pair of 4th year students pinning a 1st year to the wall.
    “JENKINS!” Mac roared at one of the pair as he moved past, “YOU'RE NOT HITTING HIM HARD ENOUGH! IF YOU EVER WANT HIS LUNCH MONEY, TRY FUCKIN' HARDER!”

    9:02, CLASSROOM 4B1

    “RIGHT, YOU LITTLE SHITS. QUIT LOITERING AND GET INTO THE CLASSROOM. YES, I KNOW YOU'RE NOT IN MY CLASS, WHATLEY! YOU THINK THIS IS A DEMOCRACY? GET THE FUCK IN THERE!”

    Having grabbed the final child and literally thrown him through the door, Mr Mac barrelled into the room and slammed the door. A sea of extremely apprehensive faces looked back at him. Grinning, Mac raised the sheet of paper he had been given by the principle just minutes before.
    “Right, you hideous little gobshites, before we get started on some history, the school has an announcement to make. It seems that several of you attended a heavy metal concert last night, and apparently that boy in 5th year, Edgecrusher, was it?, managed to kill himself and start a fire simultaneously. Impressive, you ask me. I'd shake his hand if it wasn't charcoal by now.

    “Anyways, the short of it is that aside from Asmodeus and that Carson boy, everyone at the concert died horribly. STOP THAT WAILING AT THE BACK, JENNY! DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE TWO FLYING FUCKS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND WAS AT THAT CONCERT?

    “Now, with that, IT'S HISTORY TIME, YOU LITTLE SHITPOKES! Who here has seen Braveheart?”


    One wavering hand was raised, and Mr Mac immediately hurled a brick at it.


    Show Spoiler
    Meet Mr 'Grumpy' Mac. Arriving at school drunk and vaguely on time, he breaks the news of the fire to the students.
     
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  3. Squeak squeeeeaaaak squeaksqueaksqueak. Thunk! SPLAT! Clapping, trumpets, closing credits.

    "Well that that was an oddly good episode."

    Crunching sounds, the world becomes muffled. Thump thump, rattle, thump thump. Slam.

    YAWN

    Squeak squeeeeaaaak squeaksqueaksqueak. Thunk! SPLAT! Mop.

    That was the normal morning and this one was no different.

    Following "grumpy" at a distance Mort did his daily duty of cleaning up the foul language the history teacher spewed everywhere, though some on the choice lines he kept for his own use. THough this morning Mort wasn't felling so good.

    Sqeeeeaak, splatter.

    He stood up and wiping the vomit from abound his mouth replaced his mask before kicking the bucket further along the trail Mac had left stopping outside his classroom door.

    There was a lot of shit to clean up today, rumors, trash talk, shitty pants, the toilets and floors 1,2,3, and 4 were backing up. And half the school was smearing emo all over his clean walls. WHO THE FUCK HAD INVITED THOSE WANKERS TO PERFORM HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE....... Asmodeus was no loss though. The only one shaken up about him was the creepoid.
     
  4. Without reading everyone's comments first DIANA'S THOUGHTS AND FEELS.

    First, it was very slow. Slow and curt and I was having a hard time really getting in to. I don't know if it's because it was the POV of a little kid or if that's Neil Gaimon's writing style. I've never read ANY of his stuff before to know the difference.

    The second a kitten came in to play I knew bad things were going to happen. Then it DID. Then I was PISSED OFF because killing pets is apparently one of my pissy buttons. >:[ I stayed mad the whole damn book.

    Once weird shit started happening, I finally got interested in what was going on though. It was all very surreal. I liked the representation of the three fates with the Hempstock women. I found them and their history very curious.

    The kid's dad practically drowning him in the bathtub was an eerie weird terrible frightening moment and I was very OH GAWD OH SHIT OH GAWD. @_@ Out of the entire story that one moment messed me up the most. It's hard to tell if it's directly because of Ursula's involving in the house, or if it was something that could have happened anyway. It's sad and scary.

    And then the end. >:[ I was FINALLY getting in to the world and the story and then it abruptly ends with no sense of conclusion for me. He visits the Hempstock home, and it's clear he's done it before, and that he's getting little by little back again. I like that he's been learning his whole life and getting back to himself. But then the story ends... D: You get the FEELING there's gonna be more and that one day Lettie will be back. But now your ass has to dream it up yourself.
     
  5. I have miiiiine on das kindle
     
  6. It was nine fifteen in the morning and once again, Beavis Morales was asleep in an uninhabited classroom - one reserved just for him... Yes, he was in the infirmary for being a drunken moron so much that they reserved a special room for him - one devoid of anything that could catch fire. Once again he had ended up staying the night in the school, and once again he would wake up in a pool of his own vomit.

    "Fuck..." He said, "I need wisky."

    He lurched to his feet and stumbled out of the room. As he railed into a nearby locker, he lost what was left of his stomach.

    "Hurrrrrrrrrrr."
     
  7. 9:33, CLASSROOM 4B1

    Mac snored loudly through the ringing of the bell that signalled the start of the next class, only being awakened as a small hand hesitantly poked him awake.

    One of the drunken Scotsman's eyes cracked open, coming to rest on the positively terrified-looking first year student who had just woken him. Mr Mac sat up, glaring at the boy, and brought his head back whilst inhaling a deep breath, as though preparing to unleash a torrent of abuse, only to suddenly move his head forward so it was next to the boy's and whisper,
    “What?”

    The boy, now confused as well as terrified, stuttered,
    “It's, uh, it's... it's second period, Mr Mac. You... you teach us h-history now--”
    History? HISTORY?!” the teacher suddenly yelled, rising from his seat and knocking down a filing cabinet in the process, “WELL FUCK THAT; THAT'S WHAT WE DID LAST PERIOD. WHAT THE FUCK DO THEY THINK I AM; A TEACHER? NAH, TODAY, YOU DISGUSTING LITTLE WASTES OF OXYGEN, WE'RE LEARNING ALL ABOUT THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF ECONOMICS.”
    “But Mr Mac, that's a sixth year subject--”
    “ARE YOU THE BLOODY TEACHER?”
    “...No, sir--”
    “THEN SHUT THE FUCK UP.”

    Just as Mr Mac was about to begin his ramble that none of the first years had even the faintest hope of comprehending, a shout echoed through the hallways of the school. Mac lurched around violently and staggered, knocking over another cabinet in the process.
    “ALL OF YOU STAY HERE WHILST I GO FIND OUT WHAT THAT WAS. DON'T SO MUCH AS FUCKING BREATH; IF YOU'RE DOING IT RIGHT, BY THE TIME I GET BACK, YOU SHOULD ALL BE DEAD OR AT LEAST UNCONSIOUS.”

    Managing to maneuver his way around the fallen cabinet whilst simultaneously drinking from his hip flask and opening the door, Mac staggered down the corridor demanding to know what was going on. By this point, other teachers and students were beginning to appear from their classrooms, and a scream echoed through the corridors this time.

    Rounding a corner that led to the main doors, Mr Mac found the source of the commotion; through the doors, a figure with blood all down his smart dress shirt had staggered through, looking fairly dazed and disorientated.


    [​IMG]

    Mac blinked once, startled, before the alcohol kicked in again.
    ”ASMODEUS, YOU'RE LATE; WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN? AND WHAT THE HELL'S THAT ON YOUR SHIRT?”


    Show Spoiler
    A group of first years are saved the horror of being taught sixth year economics by Mr Mac by the arrival of Asmodeus.
     
  8. Carson then shot up from his seat when he heard Mac shout his friend's name. The creepy young man then stood next to his teacher to see that Asmo was back and in one piece; granted, a little bloody. Again, this was somewhat normal for Asmo since he get into fights with Scots all the time.

    "Dude! What happened to you. You looks shit..." Carson said, sounding somewhat concerned....
     
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