Asmo's Body

Blind Hemingway

Ancient Iwaku Scum from 2006.
Original poster
MYTHICAL MEMBER
Posting Speed
  1. Slow As Molasses
Online Availability
NEVER
Writing Levels
  1. Adept
  2. Douche
Preferred Character Gender
  1. Primarily Prefer Female
Genres
Surrealism, Surreal Horror (Think Tim Burton), Steampunk, Sci-Fi Fantasy, Spaghetti Westerns, Mercenaries, Dieselpunk, Cyberpunk, Historical fantasies
IN SOME ENGLISH TOWN NO-ONE CAN REALLY PRONOUNCE, ASMODEUS, THE EVER-POPULAR JOCK, AND HIS DERPY BEST FRIEND CHOPSTCKS RESIDE.

ONE DAY, AFTER ATTENDING A SWEDISH HEAVY METAL GIG PREFORMED BY THE BAND LOW BRAU, ASMODEUS IS SACRIFICED TO CTHULHU AFTER BEING MISTAKEN FOR CHOPSTICKS.

ASMODEUS RETURNS WITH TENTACLE APENDAGES, OUT TO UNLEASH ANIMU-ESQUE TENTACLE RAPE ON SCHOOL-GIRLS. ONLY CHOPSTICKS AND HIS DERPY FRIENDS CAN STOP HIM.


RP Rules: This is a chat room styled RP, which means you post totally what comes to mind while you post. It can be weird or as serious as you want it to be. Basic plotline will loosely follow Jennifer’s Body.

Character sheet:
Main rule - be as over-the-top as you can be, but avoid god-modding.

Name: 
Job:
Age:
Physical Appearance: Picture, or a written document regarding age, physical peculiarities, costumes, color, eyes and hair.
Weapons/Tools of choice:
Biography:
 
THIS IS THE GREATEST THING. EVER.

Working on mah character nows.
 
Name: Z-98

Job:To uphold the safety of America, to end all wars, to begin an era of pea- EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!

Age: 5 Years Old

Physical Appearance:
CyborgCommando.jpg


Weapons/Tools of choice: Plasma Cannon, Rusty Chainsaw(Arm attachable), Photon Grenades

Biography: Created in a lab as a solution to war, Z-98 was supposed to go into hostile warzone and nerve gas the enemy. Once they were incapacitated, the troops would move in and capture them. America was trying a peaceful solution for once. Unfortunately, they gave the job to Dr. Zinkfreimer. A mad misanthrope with a massive intellect. He hid secret programs to activate in the war-zone which would send Z-98 into a killing spree, using hidden particle cannons embedded a secret case inside his armor. Most of the time, Z is a polite, well-meaning robot. When he sees a gun, he replaces his gas canister dart gun with nerve gas in it with his particle cannon. He was sent into his first war but like, a freak accident involving a fork and the terrorist's secret superweapon sent him to an alternate dimension.
 
Name: Janitor "mopface" Mort
Job: School Janitor
Age: 26
Physical Appearance:
300px-Predator_janitor_by_thlayli.jpg

Weapons/Tools of choice:

Mop: Indestructible and can clean anything
Bucket: Mainly for vomiting in after long nights out.
Armour: Looks cool
Biography: A local boy he spent most of primary school watching the janitor. And most of highschool being sodomized and taught the ways of mop-fu by the janitor. Its all he ever wanted to do. And when the old janitor died in a freak sodomy accident he was ready to take his place.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 person


Name: Carson, aka “Chopsticks.”

Job: Student at Local High School

Age: 17

Skills: Good at doing creepy things like stalking, talking about being a sex slave to womenz, Rping as female characters, being Asmo’s whipping boy.

Physical Appearance: Carson dresses in checkered shirts, generally in blue and whites. He’s of average height, but is much skinnier than Asmo. Most people wouldn’t be threatened by him.

Weapons/Tools of choice: His smart ass mouth. He’s one of the few people that can really set Asmo off for some reason. Carson is also skilled at stalking since that's a part time hobby of his.

Biography: Carson has always been Asmo’s best friend/whipping boy ever since they first met in a play ground as little kids. Carson is into creepy funta manga and loves Silent Hill, which is probably the only reason he’s actually friends with Asmo in the first place. He also likes trying to be a friends to all girls. He’s currently dating a young woman named Diana.
 
Name: Mr. 'Grumpy' Mac

Job: Teacher at Unpronounceable Town High School

Age: Cthulhu only knows...

Physical Appearance:
matt-smith-dr-who-1.jpg

The smell of stale beer and whisky seems to linger around Mr. Mac at all times, despite his relatively well-groomed appearance. Also, he has a hook for a left hand.

No seriously. A hook hand.

Weapons/Tools of choice: HOOK HAND.

Biography: No-ones entirely sure when Mr. Mac arrived at Unpronounceable Town High School; rumour has it he won the position in a drinking game with the principle. Simply put, one day he was there, heavily accented, belligerent, impatient, unnecessarily aggressive towards the school children and quite probably drunk most of the time.

Mr. Mac teaches history; quite often, this means Scottish history, which in turn means hour long rants about why Braveheart is a terrible movie followed by an inquiry as to what he was talking about again, and where his whisky flask is.

The school-kids seem to be both in awe and terrified of this insane, drunken lunatic as he spends his time at school shouting, drinking, charging into classrooms for no apparent reason, drinking, shouting some more and shouting whilst drinking.

Oh, and he knows about the occult. Just because all teachers in horror settings do. Chalk it down to experimenting with crazy shit at University, or something.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 2 people
Sweet; IC's up.

Not quite sure how to intro Mr Mac, though. Suggestions?
 
You can hijack all the current players and force them into the history class and rant about Braveheart then maybe have someone ask him about the weird Swedish guys that burned the gig down to the ground.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 person
"Tags
asmo, asmodeus, b-film, body, braveheart, carson, character-driven, chat rp, chatrp, chopsticks, corny, demon hunter, england, english, grumpy, jennifer, lolwut, metal, movie titles, parody, scotish, small town, sweden, swedish, village people"

WHY DONT I HAVE A TAG DAMNIT!!!!????


EDIT: Holy shit Grumpy, you almost made me wake up my parents. My ribs hurt now.
 
Name: Nick "Fothermucker" Stynes
Job: unemployed/militaria collector
Age: early 20s
Physical Appearance:
It__s_just_Buisiness___by_a.jpg

Weapons/Tools of choice: modified Protecta shotgun (its basically a double barreled protecta with a larger magazine)
Biography:a simple gun nut, Nick has collected both weapons and replica weapons, not to mention movie prop weapons, particularly from the Aliens franchise.
 
Name: Stephen "Beavis Morales
Job: Student, Metal fanatic, alchoholic
Age: 16
Physical Appearance: http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg190/Antonio159/beavis.jpg http://blogs.laweekly.com/ladaily/beavis1.jpg
Weapons/Tools of choice: Molotov Cocktails, Spiked Crosses.
Biography Ever since the early age of five his stupid ass dad has given him the finest Whisky (NO 'E' HERE) by the gallon. So far he's dropped out of school fifteen times and likes metal. Unfortunately, he missed the concert because you need a job to get tickets. And the only jobs he will ever have is the walk out of the hospital.
 
See kids? This RP proves Britain is a weird place full of interesting people from all walks of life and movie franchises.
 
I do not endorse this roleplay.
 
Hey Rory can I make a muslim and be all like "YOU LOOKED AT ME WRONG, SHARIA SHARIA SHARIA U GO TO JAIL NOW GIBE MONEY HALLAH"
 

IMPORTANT NPC

Name: Asmodues

Job: Smart Jock Guy at Unpronounceable Town High School, Undead Demon from the 2nd Circle of Hell.

Age: 18?

Physical Appearance: He kinda looks like that one dude that played Obi Wan Kenobi in Star Wars Episode 1-3. Asmo always wears a business suit when he wants to show off. Other than that he wears t-shirts and slacks.

Weapons/Tools of choice: Asmo can turn all of his body parts into creepy tentacles, which are a key weapon in the war against preppy girls and Sho. Asmo can also fly and shit. He’s also quite a charmer with his fancy smancy demonic eyes. Asmo also owns a lot of sharp pointy objects. Of course, he’s also known to get into fights with drunk Scots, so he can just beat you down old school.

Biography: Asmodues is one of the most popular guys in Unpronounceable Town High School. He’s so awesome, that the girls all toss their panties at him. Asmo loves reading about the occult. When he went with Carson to the Swedish Heavy Metal Concert, he was actually trying to find a new girl to make out with. However, he was soon kidnapped by the Swedes and sacrificed to Cthulhu. Now he’s an undead demon that has to go around eating pretty girls to stay youthful. Of course, no one knows about this yet.
 
Darkness, make it an Indian Sikh and you have yourself a deal.