Asking people to leave?

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Freyja

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Is it all right to ask a person to leave a roleplay?

Story time!
I made a sign-up thread for an upcoming roleplay a while ago [as seen in my signature].
In this thread a person I was asked by a user if she could join, happy enough that a person noticed my thread, I excitedly told her yes. Then after looking at her profile I saw she was rather young and her favourite genre was Yaoi. Making group roleplays or participating in them isn't something I'm comfortable with, so I want everything to go great. Judging from her character application's past description being a one liner about how she forgot her past and a chuckle, I had this feeling a semi-mature roleplay about escaped convicts wasn't the right place for her.
So, I send her a message that maybe this roleplay is not fit for her and hope she will forgive me for putting it this bluntly. Maybe, even practise some more.
Well, she kinda really didn't forgive me. She felt MAJOR offended, called my shallow and that she didn't even want to join my roleplay.
Then I felt MAJOR anxious, because "WHAT IF SHE REPORTS ME?" , "WHAT IF SHE TELLS EVERYONE I'M A SHALLOW BITCH" OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD.
Even wanting to cancel the entire roleplay, delete my account and going to a different site.
. . . . .
All I did was change my title to 'terrible person' and cry in the corner.

ANYWAY
What do you think about asking a person to leave?
​
 
With thread ownership, a roleplay's like private property. Who you allow in or not is your business, and they'll just make themselves look petty if they behave as if anything else is true.
 
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The way I see it, you are the one who made the roleplay, this comes with the power to ask people if they could leave. Asking them to leave seems to be a much better alternative than trying to force them to leave by suddenly sending things their way IC to kill them or outright ignoring them. Even if the reason is just being too young or skill difference, you have the power to ask them. They of course also have the right to challenge your reasoning, but in the end it is YOU who decides who who is in YOUR roleplay. You should however be prepared for people to act like that when their character gets rejected or booted, I know I would at least ask for clarification if something like that happened to me.

Side note: You could have probed about her character having amnesia, you could have attempted to make it a plot point somehow, or maybe she had a back story she only wanted you to know to prevent metagaming. This is kinda just 20/20 hindsight at work, but you could totally try to turn worrisome things like that in something else.
 
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I am sorry to hear that has happened to you. >.> Some people just take things way to seriously regardless joining a rp.
Of course as an GM, you have the right to say who may or may not join and play in your story, even if after you had checked her profile and decided she is not fit for, then you did a good thing. It's a GM right to do so, like I had said above.

Also, I used to open stories, but now not to much as I am part of other types of rp's with good GM's.

Back to the topic, I personally think, the GM has the right to say who should or should not play in his/her story and always has good reasoning regardless other people for joining or not from various reasons. It's not FAIR for a Teen Member to be part of an Mature play[ not libertine, I mean horror etc] because it would be more violence, swearing, killing etc. Again, this is my personal opinion on this.

However, as an GM you might have your reasons for asking a player to leave your RP, send a PM, a nice letter explaining the best possible why he/she is not fit for the story.
Do not get upset if the person verbally attacks you or says something bad :P - if they do, you can again, report them to a STaff Member if you consider it BAD enough..

I hope this answers the question.:)
 
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@PureKor
@Crab Claws
@Kuroki Tomoko

Thanks all of you!
This does clear allot up for me, and I'll make a note to remember I can ask a person to leave, but have to be nice about it. I'll also check such things in advance the next time, so I can avoid such situations. Hopefully people will be less offended if I tell them in advance that personally 14 years old is too young in my eyes.
 
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As far as I'm concerned, it's the GM's duty to ask people to leave a roleplay on occasion. After all, if you have five people that are writing long, serious posts and working hard, whilst another person responds with a string of gibberish, then keeping the gibberish-talker in the roleplay is unfair on the other five. You're the GM so it's your responsibility to keep the roleplay going, and if that means you have to post a bit more than the others, or nudge a few people along via PM, then so be it, even if it means asking people to leave.

However, there are ways of doing these things correctly, and I'm not sure that you're in the right on this occasion. You've singled this person out as being unfit for your roleplay because she was a bit young, she liked Yaoi and she basically didn't write a back story for her character (saying they forgot is just a cop-out as far as I'm concerned). In this case, her age and interests might be misleading, because they don't necessarily reflect her abilities as a roleplayer, and until you give her a chance, it's just prejudice and that's not fair. As for the lack of back story, well, maybe you could have asked her to write another back story instead?

If you give her a chance and she doesn't take it, then you're within your rights to ask her to leave, but you still need to be fair. How would you feel if someone sent you a PM and told you that you weren't a good fit for their roleplay? Wouldn't you prefer that they gave you a chance to prove yourself first? I know I would.
 
@Terpsichore
Yes, ofcourse I am not without fault here. Hopefully, I did not come across as too vengeful and/or hateful as in my above stated story.
Personally I want to learn, so if a person were to reject me for a roleplay and told me that he/she is not satisfied with my application because it's too meager, small, lacks depth or whatever they would dislike, then 'no', I would not be offended and see it as something too learn from.
My side is ,ofcourse, one sided, but I did tell her that
"Personality: Overly friendly, Veeery happy, doesn't understand morals.
Summary of life: "What? Life? Uhh... Huh?"
What you did: "I don't remember! heeheeheeheehee!" "
is a bit too vague, wouldn't it be obvious that I'd like you to re-write it?
 
I'm going to say before this thread gets carried away, we don't talk about other members, In this case it is a somewhat constructive conversation, but lets refrain from showing any more example so that we don't needlessly embarrass a young girl trying to learn how role playing works.

Yes, The example above would be nice to have it rewritten, and Yes, Asking someone to leave your Role play the GM's choice to make. Is it easy? Sometimes it is, Sometimes it isn't, but no matter what you have to think about how it makes you look as a GM not the other way around.

The way you see your players and work the variety of characters into your game is what makes you a good GM. Of course this if just my opinion on the matter and I truly feel that If you work with someone and give them enough creative juices to work with, you can help your players create full characters and even teach them how to become better writers. Nothing is set in stone and asking posts and character sheets to be edited with things you prefer to have in your Role play is absolutely and 100% your call when GMing your own games.

If a member becomes a Distraction or a problem to have in your game, you have to use your own judgement to make the call of whether to keep them or drop them. If a member becomes distracting or a problem you can also report this and get the staff's opinion on the matter so that you may have more than one opinion.

But at the end of the day, Your game, Your rules, Your Players, as long as you are working within the parameters of Iwaku's rules. Requesting a member to not be in your role play, is totally your call to make.

I hope this helped a little x.x

<3
 
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Is never a good idea to post obvious things like this in public, because you never know when the object of your vexation is reading and then has something else to get mad at you for. XD Be careful!

MEANWHILE: Your roleplay, your rules! Sometimes a person just doesn't fit your roleplay. As long as you're polite, respectful, and explain why they're not working out for you, then there is nothing to feel bad about.

MOST people handle this well and do not take it personally. o__o I have been kicked out of roleplays and usually the people were very nice about it and I didn't feel too bad. There was the usual sadfacing and insecurity at first, (cause you can't help but feel a little rejected no matter what), BUT any reasonable person will understand and find another roleplay.

We're all just trying to find somewhere fun that we belong, and there are always more roleplays and more people to try!
 
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@Fijoli
Ah, sorry. I did get kinda carried away, but since now my question have been answered I think it's all right with me closing/deleting this thread.
Again, thanks everyone for your perspectives and advice!
 
@Freyja
You did not get carried away and it is a great question to ask, we have a lot of new members coming in recently and it is an excellent question I think we should let everyone see how different people feel about the subject, other peoples opinions are always good to have banked away somewhere for those rainy days.

You didn't do anything wrong and I just wanted to step in before it did. No worries, dearest Freyja.

~insert John Wayne voice here~ you done did good kid...you done did good.
 
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@Fijoli
That was the most inspirational thing that has ever been said to me and with such a classic voice *sniffles*
I'll remember it!
@Diana
Thanks allot, that really is a very clear and straight-forward answer thank you!
 
Never tell someone to practice more. That often comes across as "I'm too good for you" even if that's not what you're trying to say. Still. Most people take it like good sports when you ask them to leave. Although 1x1 players tend to be more difficult in that regard. The trick is to stay polite, but assertive. Tell a person your reasons for asking them to leave, without attacking their ego. If people write one-liners, don't tell them they're not good enough at roleplaying, tell them you're looking for people who write paragraphs (if you make a ruleset in your op, refer to these). If someone has a poor grasp on physics, tell them you're looking for people who like a more realistic roleplay. etc. That and remember to treat people like people. I wouldn't want to RP with most of my RL friends, but I still like them as people (obviously). Most people take it personally when they're rejected, so try to treat them respectfully.

Other than that, you're the creator of the roleplay, technically you can ask people to leave for whatever reason you fancy. You shouldn't play a game you're not enjoying, If anyone ever reports you for politely rejecting them as a partner 1x1 or as a GM, they'd be stupid.
 
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It honestly sounds like she overreacted.

Let her throw a temper tantrum; protecting yourself and others is important. Best advice I have? Chalk it down to a lesson learned and change your title to whatever you like that is not negative. Stuff like this is going to happen more often in your life, just have to learn to work around or with it. Asking for advice on the subject was a great move on your part, the only thing I suggest doing differently next time is not allowing things like this to get under your skin.
 
When you make RP requests and the likes, always make it a point to put your guidelines in what you're seeking. Plenty of people do it, I did it. It gives possible joiners an idea if what you're looking for and you should alo keep this in mind...

There is always an opportunity to teach.

We learn from each other when we join forces and maybe you should keep the possbility of helping people who don't seem to have really good skills by challenging them. Give them the opportunity by making these guidelines and see of this will work as a better opportunity then flat out denying someone. Although there those who seriously need to be kicked out lol.

You are well within your right to do as you please and should not feel guilty about it.
 
I was going to provide advice but everyone here has already provided every single possible piece of advice I could have.

So my only piece of advice is to read them all again and stick it in your head: If you posted the role play, its yours, and you have all rights to kick anyone for any reason. Just be polite about it and try to move on as quickly as possible.
 
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As I am about to repeat, It was your role-play, your rules, and you had the utmost authority over it.
If you believe a member of your role-play is in any sense "defiling it", or rather breaking your rules, You have the right to boot them off the Rp.
If they are being butt-hurt over it, call a moderator.
 
I would never ask someone to leave a roleplay. It's not in my nature.
 
Brovo said:
I was going to provide advice but everyone here has already provided every single possible piece of advice I could have.
Click to expand...
Brovo said:
So my only piece of advice is to read them all again and stick it in your head: If you posted the role play, its yours, and you have all rights to kick anyone for any reason. Just be polite about it and try to move on as quickly as possible.
Click to expand...
Pretty much this. I have been known to be to nice in the past, feeling to bad about booting players. That has only led to trouble, so these days I give a warning first. Then its the boot. In a respectfull manner of course.
 
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