Ask Jorick Anything (Anonymously) - NOW CLOSED

[Jorick]

Show's over, folks. Thanks for all the weird and amusing questions, I might do this again some time in the distant future. :P

Hi there. As the title suggest, this thread is going to be a place where the people of Iwaku can ask me whatever they want, and it'll be anonymous as well. I know getting new admins can be kind of scary and weird, and a lot of you probably don't know much about me. I figure the best way to fix some of that scary and weird part will come by way of fixing the latter issue as well, because honestly I doubt anyone will be scared of me once they realize I'm just a goofy nerd like most of you. This is an open offer for a limited time (the time limit being when I get bored or too busy to keep responding), and I'll edit the thread title and probably this post to let folks know when that time comes. Anyway, on to the basic rules of this little event.

The Rules

1. All questions will be posted and answered in this thread unless they violate site rules (harassing other members, using offensive racial slurs, etc) or are not actually questions. If I choose not to answer something directly for some reason, I will still post some kind of non-answer in this thread and tell you to fuck off or otherwise explain why I'm not going to give a straight answer.

2. Slightly late on the draw here, but blanket NSFW warning on this thread for language. I enjoy cursing and I will do so as I see fit. Some of the questioners may feel the same way and I will not be censoring them.

3. Do not attach your name to your question. Any attempt to sign your name to a question will be removed to prevent the ability for impersonation through the anonymous form. If you want to ask me something so that I know who you are, do it here in the thread or send me a PM. Questions asked in thread will be answered here, PMs will remain private.

4. Don't send me anything with a bunch of BBCode tags attached. Bold or underline or similar simple things are fine, but if you try to send me images or a mess of div box codes to give your question a pretty background or something I'm going to snip it out and post it in plain text instead.


And that's it. The link below will take you to the anonymous question submission form. I'll grab questions in batches and answer them when I'm at home and have the time. Here's hoping I don't end up regretting this. :D

ASK JORICK A QUESTION​

Answer Posts:
Answers 1-17
Answers 18-30
Answers 31-53
Answers 54-64
Answers 65-73
Answers 74-77
Answer 78
Answers 79-83
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Answers 91-112
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Answers 122-123

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

What is so hot it's cool, yet so cool it's hot?

Best (Non-Waffle Cone) way to eat Ice Cream?

What's it like being Admin so far?​

 

[Firemind]

Tits or ass?

 

[Wolk]

(There's a link at the end of the post which you're supposed to use instead of posting here)

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

(There's a link at the end of the post which you're supposed to use instead of posting here)

Only if you care to be Anonymous.

 

[Navuso]

(There's a link at the end of the post which you're supposed to use instead of posting here)

If you read the third rule, people are allowed to post their questions here if they want. They just won't be anon if they do :p

3. Do not attach your name to your question. Any attempt to sign your name to a question will be removed to prevent the ability for impersonation through the anonymous form. If you want to ask me something so that I know who you are, do it here in the thread or send me a PM. Questions asked in thread will be answered here, PMs will remain private.

So, I'm pretty sure it's perfectly fine if people just keep posting their questions in the actual thread. Though I assume most will use the form so that it's easier to have just one large post by Jorick that answers them all without so much clutter. (Speaking of, sorry for the clutter)

 

[Wolk]

Only if you care to be Anonymous.

Well, I suppose. Just making sure that people didn't miss it accidentally…
Edit: I actually ended up overlooking the third rule myself, because I just read the first sentence, which was the important part for me. :l

In this thread, people making mistakes.

Derpderpderpderpderpderpderpderpderp

 

[Jorick]

How often have you beaten your meat at newbies?

Just once, just today. It was spontaneous. :D

How long have you been on Iwaku?

Two years and just shy of three months.

Do you like the responsibilities of being an administrator?

Yes, which is kind of weird. I usually don't strive for positions of power and leadership and whatnot because responsibility is lame, but so far it's been fun and challenging in new ways that I didn't have when I was just a Security staff person.

In your personal opinion, which of your body parts would you describe as the most "luscious"?

Definitely my chest hair. They bristle with raw sexuality.

Why won't you notice Melon?

; ;

Because I am a cruel senpai and I enjoy watching her suffer.

I'm not trying to sound rude. I'm just a curious person that loves to ask stuff. So, here I go:
Do you think you have what it takes to be an Administrator and a Security Administrator of Iwaku?

Absolutely. I've never been one to lack for confidence in my own abilities, and I can definitely do what's needed to be the Security Administrator. I COULD do any of the Administrator roles adequately, but this is the niche I am best suited for. The actual work required isn't bad, just a lot of talking things over with my fellow admins and writing some things up, and most people can do that. Barring laziness or corruption or whatnot, the difference between a bad admin and a good one is mostly a matter of temperament, and I think I've got the right kind to make the hard choices necessary to be the Security Administrator.

What is your ethnicity? And does it influence the way you roleplay a character? Do you usually include parts of your culture or religion in your roleplay so?

MORE THAN ONE QUESTION, YOU CHEATER!

I am a white dude; something like 15/16 of my heritage is western European. I don't think my ethnicity impacts the way I roleplay characters very much, but it does impact the choices I make for appearance because I default to selecting or describing white people. The environment I grew up in and the culture that has influenced me my whole life has waaaaaaaaaay more impact than ethnicity, and is not really significantly tied to my ethnicity. I often do include little bits and pieces of my culture and my religious thoughts in my characters, but I do mostly play things in fantasy settings so it's hard to do that even if I intentionally try to a lot of the time. I'm more likely to add some personality aspect that I identify with rather than specifically going for similar ethnicity or culture or religion.

Dogs or cats and why?

Cats. I like my independence and my personal space, and dogs are generally very up in your face and require regular care with feeding them and walking them and whatnot. Cats are a lot more chill and suit me better, especially outdoor cats who just come in to hang out for a while and then leave to go do their thing whenever.

But honestly I would choose to have no pets at all, because they're a pain in the ass and cost money I would rather spend on myself. :P

What is your favorite movie of all time? (No cheating! >:( )

American History X. Whenever I talk movies with people I am always sad about how few people have heard of or watched it, but at least I get to feel like a favorite movie hipster because mine doesn't appear on every top 100 movies of all time list that get peddled around the internet.

Age, gender, hobby, country, and why you think you'll make a good admin. What can you do for iwaku?

ANOTHER MULTIPLE QUESTION CHEATER, HOW DARE YOU!

27, male, video games, United States, I have the perfect mix of being serious when needed and chill when it's not that Iwaku needs to keep on feeling like Iwaku. I can do all sorts of things for Iwaku, everything from making the site nicer to use by developing rules and policies that are more understandable and less annoying for everyone to sparing staff from a lot of personal drama by being the lighting rod for ire directed at the staff over the tough decisions we have to make. I am a multi-talented individual.

Favorite cereal?

Honey Nut Cheerios.

Is the booty nice?

aw yeah, it's a nice booty

There's been something on my mind since a while now, and maybe you can clear it up for me. It's about red star roleplays. I'm aware that loli characters are not allowed, be it because of possible trouble with the law, or maybe because of simpler reasons. I am uncertain where the line is drawn though. How is "loli" defined on iwaku?
I know of two definitions. The first is simply being just underage, and the second is a mix of being short and underdeveloped. A prime example here is Konata Izumi from Lucky Star, who is 18 according to her series.
So... Are both definitions not allowed, or is there a way to allow the creative freedom with Iwaku's blessing?

Oooh, policy question. Fun. :D

So, the rule is not specifically about "loli" characters. The rule about character age and appearance is that no character engaged in sexual activity can be younger than 13. What this means is that a character cannot be stated as, appear as, behave as, or be written as a prepubescent individual. It's very complicated because it's based on US obscenity law, which is notoriously convoluted. The key is that all characters engaged in sex MUST be obviously sexually mature (ie they have reached puberty) and not prepubescent children. It's mostly about how the character is described and presented: if they have the bodies or genitals of children then it's a problem, even if you SAY they're actually 18 or whatever.

So for your examples, just being underage is not allowed. 13 or equivalent age, ie average age of reaching sexual maturation and being capable of reproducing, for non-human characters is the minimum, no exceptions. If they think or act like a child it might also be a problem, depending on how much that is emphasized and presented. The Konata version of a loli would be fine IF she is just short and has a flat chest; if she is otherwise sexually mature and is not described as being prepubescent in the ways that matter, then that's fine.

It's all honestly a lot of grey area where we err on the side of caution when something seems to skirt the line of a character being prepubescent. As much as it sucks, it's better to quash a little bit of creative freedom for the sake of keeping Iwaku open and not investigated by the CIA for hosting obscene material regarding the sexual exploitation of children. =X

Lets be honest, but we all know the answer to Life, the Universe and everything is 42.

What do YOU think the question to that answer is?

Boobs. It's always about the boobs.

What new buttons and options did you get as a staff member?

Let's see... I got buttons to edit or delete posts and check the post history, plus the button to give post warnings. On people's profiles I have buttons to ban, warn, check IPs, check if they're flagged for multiple accounts, and to go look at their account information. Then there's the button that goes to the Admin Control Panel, and there's just an absolute cluster of shiny buttons that may or may not explode the site in there.

Marvel or DC?

Ehhhh. I don't do actual comics because I'm a casual scrub. I prefer Marvel movies, but DC TV animated shows in my youth were superior (Batman: The Animated Series from the early-mid 90s was my favorite). I haven't watched any of their modern shows, but that could work as a tiebreaker if I bothered. If I HAD to pick one right now it would be Marvel because I get more enjoyment out of the movies than my nostalgia for some cartoons.

What is so hot it's cool, yet so cool it's hot?

Best (Non-Waffle Cone) way to eat Ice Cream?

What's it like being Admin so far?​

IcyHot smeared all over the testicles.

With a spoon.

Pretty good, a little more work than I was doing as one of the leaders of Security, but it's been fun.

Tits or ass?

Ass.

 

[Firemind]

You have chosen wisely.

I would also have accepted 'Why not both?'

 

[Greenie]

>.> @Jorick continues to become even more relatable. Cats? Honey nut cheerios? Doesn't do comics?

I dunno if I should be happy or sad!

....

[spoili]yeah I'm just being dumb ^_^'[/spoili]

 

[Vendethiel]

I saw American History X on IFC last month. It had me thinking a lot.

 

[Nebulon Ranger]

Beer or hard cider?

 

[Jorick]

You watch any youtubers??

Does "youtuber" count anyone who posts videos on youtube, or is that a special type of them? I see the term used in weird ways sometimes. :|

Anyway, I do watch some people on the youtubes. The main things I watch are Rooster Teeth related channels (the main one, Achievement Hunter, and LetsPlay which is mainly more AH things). I also watch a handful of League of Legends player channels (Dyrus, Imaqtpie, and Annie Bot) that I've kept up with despite no longer playing the game because the people are entertaining enough to keep me drawn in. Uhhh, what else... Oh, TeamFourStar for Dragonball Z Abridged, ADoseofBuckley because ranty shit is fun, videogamedunkey because he's hilarious. I know there are tons I'm forgetting, but that's a reasonable sample I think.

How do you like your steak?
Can crop circles be square?
What is your favorite paradox?
Do you squeeze the toothpaste or roll it?
Toilet paper: over or under?
Do you own any autographs?
What is your DJ name?
Ever break a bone?
The most important question: Cats or dogs?

DOES NOBODY READ THE TEXT ABOVE THE SUBMISSION BOX ON THE FORM? UGH

Well done, and if I can still see pink when I cut it open then it's not burnt enough. I can't stand the mushy texture of steak when it's not cooked into oblivion, so I'm officially a steak heretic who goes well done. If I have a choice, I'll go for chicken or porn (*pork but the typo is too good to erase) or something over steak because even when fully cooked I'm not a huge fan of steak.

No, that would be called a crop square. Duh.

I'm a fan of the Socratic paradox. "All I know is that I know nothing."

Squeeze until it's hard to get enough toothpaste out, then roll to finish off the tube.

Over.

Nope, don't care about any famous person enough to bother seeking out an autograph.

DJ Tympanic Membrane Perforation.

No broken bones ever.

I already answered this one, but you get a pass because you sent the question before I posted my answers. Cats.

Are you in any fandoms?

Not actively in the way of participating in fandom communities surrounding something. I quietly enjoy things, sometimes talk to friends or join in on forum conversations about them, but I don't actively seek out the specific fandom communities after seeing what a bunch of raving lunatics most of them were when I tried it back in my teen years.

The thing I'm closest to being an active fandom member for is Game of Thrones, but all I do is talk to friends and such about it and go looking for news articles of people being outraged about the horrible things that happen. :D

u up?

ya gurl u down?

Favorite band?

Fuck, that's a tough one. Uhhh... If I had to pick one as my #1 favorite of all time then it would be Metric. However, favorite of the moment is Týr, because Viking themed metal is badass.

Favorite song?

This one is slightly easier! Ariel by Stateless. I can't help but groove out and chair dance to this one and I've listened to it probably a couple thousand times now. :|

It got taken off of Youtube, which kinda sucks, but it's on Soundcloud if you wanna check it out. Ariel

Does being Admin pay? I love this site but am currently out of work.

Nope. Staff members are all volunteers. In a way I'm actually paying to work for Iwaku because I also donate money monthly.

How does this work? Like, how is this anonymous to you, and how do you receive this? I am deeply intrigued.

I set it up the same way as the Contact Us form is done, but I removed the name field. There's a thread in the special little admins only subforum that the questions are sent to. The @Iwaku account receives a PM every time a question is submitted, copies it into the thread as a post (so the post is made by that account), and then immediately deletes the PM. Then I just copy and paste the questions here to answer.

Fun fact: The text for these questions is green because that's one of the post formatting things that the Iwaku account is set up to do for these sorts of application forms, and I'm too lazy to remove the text color so it gets to stay.

Will you ever be hosting a cat boy roleplay?

Never. >:[

Favorite animal?

Bear. Grizzly bears specifically, but polar bears are hype too.

senpai du u notice mi ;v;

Also, favourite food? I knOW I AM SUPER UNORIGINAL WITH MY QUESTIONS

Any favourite memories you have on the site? Or in real life :>

new fone who dis?

Fried chicken is the best.

Hmmm... How about a combo memory? The first time I ever got drunk was when I was doing a voice call with Iwaku staff people. It was super fun, one of my favorite memories in general. If you see jokes made about catboys or kicking basketballs, they spawned from this smut roleplay I read out loud on voice chat that night. Good times. 8D

What is your favourite kind of soda? (pop if you're one of those heathens.)

Mountain Dew. Or I think they stylize it now as Mtn Dew? Whatever it is. But I'm attempting to not guzzle sugar until I develop diabetes, so I've been off the green liquid crack and have been drinking Diet Pepsi instead. It's actually pretty good.

Also, I've lived in Oregon my whole life, and a lot of people here call it pop. I did through most of my childhood until I realized it sounded so stupid, so I consciously made the switch to calling it soda.

Beer or hard cider?

Neither. The few times I've tried beer it tasted like piss and I've never cared to acquire the taste for it. I've never had hard cider.

If I drink, it's going to be some kind of liquor in a simple mix. Last weekend for New Year's Eve I did screwdrivers and rum and coke. This weekend I'm going to finish off that bottle of rum in the same was as I started it. I drink for the fun of getting drunk, not for the taste or whatever, and liquor is waaaay more efficient for that purpose than low alcohol content drinks like beer or hard cider.

 

[Kagayours]

I'll go for chicken or porn or something over steak

oh

 

[Greenie]

Well done, and if I can still see pink when I cut it open then it's not burnt enough. I can't stand the mushy texture of steak when it's not cooked into oblivion, so I'm officially a steak heretic who goes well done.

 

[Tarieles]

Well done, and if I can still see pink when I cut it open then it's not burnt enough. I can't stand the mushy texture of steak when it's not cooked into oblivion, so I'm officially a steak heretic who goes well done. If I have a choice, I'll go for chicken or porn (*pork but the typo is too good to erase) or something over steak because even when fully cooked I'm not a huge fan of steak.

 

[noodle]

Mountain Dew. Or I think they stylize it now as Mtn Dew? Whatever it is.

....I hope that it doesn't turn you into this.

 

[Jorick]

Well I'm off to bed. More answers some time after consciousness returns. :D

 

[ᴛᴏᴄᴋᴀ]

I'm deeply disturbed, although I don't know if it's because someone asked Jorick about his booty, or that Jorick actually answered.....the image is now scorched into my brain and I can't bleach it out!

 

[Roose Hurro]

What is so hot it's cool, yet so cool it's hot?

Best (Non-Waffle Cone) way to eat Ice Cream?

What's it like being Admin so far?​

Wrapped in a tortilla...

Tits or ass?

Thigh... remember, there are more than those two things to like about the opposite sex.