Are we really dogs to her?

  • Thread starter Dukun Bellydance Witch
  • Start date

Dukun Bellydance Witch

Original poster
I'm pretty sure my mother doesn't care about her daughters anymore. My sister Whitney and I have been bugging my mom for me to get an at least 50 dollar hair cut and she won't cuz she doesn't have the money. And yet, she buys a 100+ dollar GPS, a digital camera, and spends 350 dollars at stein mart on clothes for herself. The GPS was for some guy she claims is just a "friend" as a thank you for taking her out to dinner and movies and bars EVERY WEEKEND. She has clothes in 4 closets, in four attics, and in storage. More than half of which doesn't even fit her. My sisters and I need new clothes and shoes for winter and mom said she'd take us in December to get them cuz she'll have the money by then. But then she spends that much on herself. Her clothes are all really nice too. They're fancy work clothes that are dry clean only. If we sold just one or two outfits, I'd be able to get a hair cut or some shoes or something I need. Plus she got mad at me when I spend MY money in MY savings account at the mall on stuff I wanted. Plus, she was supposed to come pick me up and she FORGOT! We haven't even gotten our graduation cards yet. She said she was waiting till she had some money to put in them and we told her she didn't need to cuz money is tight since the divorce. She wouldn't even sign them "I'm proud of you, love mom". She wouldn't even give them to us. Nor did she apologize. Most of the time, she working or out with that guy friend of hers. Whenever we try to tell her how she's making us feel she doesn't want to hear it and gets mad at us. V.V What do you guys think?
Reminds me of my mother. There have been times where I needed a haircut, which costs only like 20 bucks for me, as well as shoes and clothes. There have even been urgent times when I needed to see a doctor or take my cat to the vet. As a result of her "I don't have the money" bullshit (not to mention we had insurance!), I developed a really bad sinus infection and a lung infection. I had to be on THREE medicines. Therefore, the visit cost way more than it would have weeks prior. As for my cat? She ended up dying because we waited too late to treat her illness. That was some of the worst time of my life. :/

My mother still does this sometimes, but I'm not living with her to experience it--my siblings are. She has a new boyfriend now--a finace', even--who I do not like. He spoils the hell out of her with affection AND with his money. So, why not help out your kids? Why not send some money to your college kid who is almost out of food? All I need is like 20 bucks and I'm good 'till my next paycheck...

Anyway, dear, just saying that I understand. Your mother is being selfish, but maybe we know the reason. For my mom, part of it is because she was 20 when she gave birth to me. She uses the excuse "I never got to be young or spend money on myself" in the sweetest way possible so I wouldn't think I ruined her life. Which I didn't...she just wants to keep spoiling herself. Did your mom have that same situation? It could be a confidence thing, it could be that she's more devoted to this "friend" than she is to you...

Whatever the case, I am so sorry to hear it.... I hope she'll open her eyes and see that her daughters are suffering. ): You need her way more than her guy does... My mom at least puts her children SOMEWHERE on the priority list... Why won't yours? </3
I hate to be the complete cockhead, and i mean no offense when i say this but parents are people too, they make mistakes, they sometimes need to take time for themselves.

but then, she could just be neglecting you guys so that she feels less shitty, and gets pissed off when you tell her about whats what, because it makes her feel shitty again.

In any case, i hope things get better for you soon.
The best way to solve problems with people you're dependent on is to work towards becoming independent. It does wonders for the relationship issues with parents.

Anyways, best of luck to you Wad, you seem like a genuinely good person so I am sure things will look up for you soon.