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I don't really know of a good way to put this, but this is something I have been thinking about for a long time. I'm concerned for my mental health, more so now than ever before, and it's become clear to me that I badly need professional help. The problem is actually receiving that help, and for two reasons, both having to deal anxiety.
First of all, in order to see a therapist I'll have to talk to my parents, the very thought of which makes me extremely uncomfortable. I've never been very good at expressing my emotions with someone face to face (or at all, really), especially with family members. I always try to hide my emotions, and I'm ashamed to admit that it's something I've gotten really good at. As far as my parents are concerned, there is nothing wrong with me and I have absolutely no reason to go to therapy. To suddenly come out and say to them that I need serious help frightens me more than anything else in world; just thinking about it gives me anxiety.
And even if I manage to overcome that, the simple act of going to therapy presents another issue. I've suffered from extreme social anxiety for as long as I can remember, I'm almost certain that what I have is Avoidant Personality Disorder, and it's exactly why I feel the need to see a therapist. But it's also the same thing that prevents me doing so. The idea of sharing personal thoughts and information that I normally keep to myself with someone I don't know terrifies me. I know it's gonna be a slow process that I'll have to get used to, and that I'll be better off because of it, but that doesn't change how I feel. How am I to share my feelings with a therapist when I can't even share them with someone I'm close to? I just don't know what to do.
I've done my fair share of research on the subject; I looked up a lot of tips on how to address this situation, but nothing seems to help. So I'm turning to here for some advice on how to make the process a little more bearable, and hopefully that will help me build up courage to actually go through with it. Hopefully. Already I have my doubts.
First of all, in order to see a therapist I'll have to talk to my parents, the very thought of which makes me extremely uncomfortable. I've never been very good at expressing my emotions with someone face to face (or at all, really), especially with family members. I always try to hide my emotions, and I'm ashamed to admit that it's something I've gotten really good at. As far as my parents are concerned, there is nothing wrong with me and I have absolutely no reason to go to therapy. To suddenly come out and say to them that I need serious help frightens me more than anything else in world; just thinking about it gives me anxiety.
And even if I manage to overcome that, the simple act of going to therapy presents another issue. I've suffered from extreme social anxiety for as long as I can remember, I'm almost certain that what I have is Avoidant Personality Disorder, and it's exactly why I feel the need to see a therapist. But it's also the same thing that prevents me doing so. The idea of sharing personal thoughts and information that I normally keep to myself with someone I don't know terrifies me. I know it's gonna be a slow process that I'll have to get used to, and that I'll be better off because of it, but that doesn't change how I feel. How am I to share my feelings with a therapist when I can't even share them with someone I'm close to? I just don't know what to do.
I've done my fair share of research on the subject; I looked up a lot of tips on how to address this situation, but nothing seems to help. So I'm turning to here for some advice on how to make the process a little more bearable, and hopefully that will help me build up courage to actually go through with it. Hopefully. Already I have my doubts.