She kept her eyes locked on his as he spoke gently, reminding her of her training and she nodded weakly. Her heart was breaking as she thought of what would possibly happen in the future... He would decide he was bored with her, he would remember his feelings for another woman and realize he didn't love Juliet the way he thought he did... He would tell her goodbye and pull from her life. She would be left in the dust with no one to turn to, nothing but herself. She cringed a bit as she remembered how scarey it was to be by herself, how she'd been by herself all her life, just her and the voices in her head, blocking everyone out, pushing everyone away, but finally along came this man who understood her... Who believed in her, who was by her side. She was scared of how she felt for him, of how she loved him, of how -- even when he told her he loved her -- a little voice in the back of her mind told her he wasn't really telling the truth. She held onto him under the rush of warm water and let her tears mix into the drips, falling like rain. Every time they were apart even for a few hours, her heart was missing something, so how would it feel to lose him forever? How would it feel when he told her goodbye? She hated to think of it, yet her mind -- which was always drifting to the worst thoughts in any situation -- wouldn't stop. She wasn't enough, wasn't better than the ex he'd loved so much, the ex he wouldn't stop remembering... her strawberry blond hair, the way his eyes sparkled when he thought of her... she was probably gorgeous, perfect in every way... How would Juliet ever compete with that? What could she do to make him happier than any girl ever had? She didn't want to lose him, didn't want to hurt again when she thought she'd found the one... but it was inevitable. Just like her mother, just like everyone else she'd ever let anywhere close to her heart, he would eventually leave. He would grow tired of her and get away from her, as far as possible. But for now... Oh, for now... she would stay in his arms, she would brave the impact of heartbreak just to have another moment of happiness. She would go through the worst pain imaginable just to have one more day in his arms, to have one more chance to make him smile, to feel one more touch. To stroke his face and look into those beautiful crystal eyes. To have the chance to tell him she loved him one more time, she would give her life. In this moment, the moment she lived in, the moment where all she felt was a pure unabiding joy in his presence, she would be happy with him, with his love. She loved him with all of her heart, and just thinking of losing him made her world threaten to crumble.
(Sorry... Went a bit crazy there... But this was just weighing on my mind for a couple weeks now and I figured I had to get it out somehow...)
