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Lucas's heart sank entirely. He too could have cried with her in that moment. And he wanted to, but he refused to.

He didn't take off his clothing, only his shoes, and socks and then joined her. He sat on the floor behind her, pressing his back against her's. Slowly he began peeling globs of algae out of his hair with the help of the hot water raining down on them both. He remained quiet for the first minute because he honestly didn't know what to do that would actually work.

"Claudia, why are you crying?" Lucas breathed, watching the water run down the drain in a small spin. "If you tell me, maybe we can fix it?"


He closed his eyes, blinking back his own tears. He was suddenly exhausted, drowning in his own drowsiness. He wanted to sleep, maybe they both should. Sleep was the best solace for strong pains such as these. The haunting pain that never seemed to go away no matter what you did.

"What's wrong, please tell me?"


He was helpless and utterly useless. And though he knew that wasn't what she meant by this, he could see it more than ever in this situation. And it hurt.
 
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"I - I - I --"

Claudia turned around and pulled Lucas into a tight, bone-crushing hug, pressing him against the glass wall of her shower and burying her face in his neck as she sobbed. There was nothing she could do to ebb the sharp flow of emotion that was coursing out of her like water over a cliff. She had broken down completely.

"Everything's falling apart," she choked, her words constricted by her sobs and her aching throat. "I nearly lost you -- I nearly lost you because I'm so, so fucking stupid. And you lost the friends you'd had for years. Maybe if I never came into your life you'd still have those friends."

Claudia pulled back and looked at him with swollen red eyes. In the back of her mind, she knew she needed help. For the cutting, the bulimia, the depression that was so obviously overtaking her and shoving her down into a dark well of her own feelings. But she didn't think she deserved help.

She didn't deserve anything.

"Brogen could have died. Everything is falling apart." Claudia broke into another round of sobs and hid her face in Lucas's shoulder again. he didn't need to be worrying about her like this, but Claudia needed him so much. He was the only thing that was solid in her life anymore.
 
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"That's not true." Lucas whispered, rubbing her back soothingly. The hypnotic circles he rubbed in weren't only helping for her, but it calmed himself too, to watch the repetitive movement. He breathed in slowly and as smoothly as possible before going on. He wanted to get his point across for them both. "Everything has not started to fall apart. It's starting to come together."

He closed his eyes for a split second, using his other hand to run his fingers through her wet tangles. "You would never have lost me, I'm here to stay and I'm here now. Don't call yourself stupid, with or without my friends, if I hadn't met you, I'd be dead by now." And that he knew for a fact to be true. Each day had been a struggle for him with no one around enough to help him get through it all. Slowly, he knew, he was leading down a narrow path with one goal in mind, death.

"And Brogen could have died. But he didn't. He's still alive and breathing and recovering as we speak."
His eyes welled up. He felt horrible that she has put in such a situation with her brother near death. But he wasn't dead if he was dead then she would already be destroyed. He knew that he had been when his brother died. Honestly, he still was.

"It's alright, everything will be okay. Just think about it."
 
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Claudia didn't like to think about Lucas dying. The idea of Lucas's spark fading, of the life leaving his eyes made her so distraught that she almost started to cry again. She had to remind herself that he wasn't dead, that he was here, with her, trying to soothe and console her and doing his damn best to make her happy even though she didn't deserve it.

Claudia inhaled a shaky breath and pulled back, planting a kiss to his cheek then his lips. "I love you," Claudia croaked. "I love you so much. I love you more than anything in the entire world, and I'm the luckiest girl alive to have you."

Claudia rested her head against Lucas's shoulder as the warm shower water turned cold. She stood up, turned the shower off and took a fluffy towel out of the warmer, handing it to Lucas. She took her own, dried off her legs and padded out to her wardrobe, where she changed into loose cotton shorts and a camisole.

"Claudia?" It was her mother, calling through the door. Claudia glanced at Lucas before going to let her in.

Daphne stalked in, looking almost as imposing and intimidating as her husband. She glanced at Lucas and looked down at the younger clone of her, known as Claudia. "Claudia, are you alright?" the Australian woman asked.

"I'm fine, Mom," Claudia breathed. She didn't look fine.

Daphne glared at Lucas. "What happened between you two? What did you do that caused my daughter to cut herself in the hospital?"

"MOM! It wasn't him, it was Brogen!"

Daphne glanced at her. "Brogen has had attacks before. Something else happened and I want to know what it is."
 
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Lucas had only towel dried his dark blonde hair when Claudia let her mother in. He grew quiet immediately, standing frozen in place. He knew her mother hated her, and if he told her everything else too she'd hate him more. And he didn't know where that would lead. The woman already didn't like the idea of him in her house.

Still, he believed what happened between he and Claudia was their business. And their business alone. Standing under her serious gaze had him changing his mind, though. He cared about Claudia and it went without saying her mother did as well.

His eyes wandered to the blonde beauty, the one whom he was irrevocably in love with. Lucas wasn't blind, and he could see she needed help. How many times had he made her cry now?

"I lied to her. And then we stopped seeing each other for a while." He gulped, swallowing down the lump stuck in his throat. There were no tears, his eyes were dry and somber as he looked the Lightwood mother in the face. "I also hurt a few people." Because of her, for her.

He shrugged his shoulders with a sigh, his eyes dropping to the floor. "A lot happened before Brogen's hospitalization."
 
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"You lied to her." Daphne's voice was cold, and she looked at her daughter almost pleadingly. "He lied to you and you let him back? Claudia, I thought you were smarter than that."

Claudia flinched. "Mom, it's not what you think --"

"Then tell me!" Daphne insisted. "You never tell me anything!"

Claudia whimpered, and she collapsed. "H - His friend liked me and I was an idiot and I didn't see it so he lied so I'd stay away from him and then that friend kissed me and then Brogen happened and we didn't see each other for a week and then I - I - I nearly drowned in the l - l - lake and he s - s - saved me."

All the words were spewing out of her mouth in an intelligible mess of speech and she almost started choking on thin air, so Daphne gently helped her daughter into the chair below her bed. "Deep breaths," Daphne murmured, rubbing Claudia's back soothingly.

She looked up at Lucas with a scrutinising glare. "Do you love her?"
 
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"Do I love her?" Lucas repeated, looking at Daphne with an incredulous look. He didn't intend any disrespect, but he couldn't help it. With everything that had happened, with everything that was happening, he couldn't exactly care to think about who he was talking to. His emotions were bottled for so long, and he only turned the cap to release them for Claudia.

But now, with Claudia so obviously a hot depressed mess, keeping in check was a hard thing to do. They had only been separated for a week, but he o

"Of course, I love her! That's why I lied in the first place, granted, it was a stupid idea. But, I love Claudia." He grabbed a fistful of his damp hair and sighed heavily, he was trying to calm down nor was he. "I'd do anything for her, including jumping into that fucking lake that killed my brother." Which he already had. He trembled, thinking about the lake and how it almost took her away from him.

His lower lip trembled, "I just want her to be happy, and unfortunately I can't do that for her."
 
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Daphne's eyes darkened when Lucas swore but she didn't reprimand him or even acknowledge his foul language. She only looked at her daughter with a degree of concern in the eyes she shared with Claudia. Claudia, however, was fixed solely on Lucas. She was no longer hysterically crying, but she looked very sad.

Claudia stood up, despite her mother's murmurs, and wrapped her arms around Lucas's waist, burying her face in his shoulder. "I love you, too," she said firmly. "And you do make me happy."

You're the only thing that makes me happy.

Daphne stood up and dusted off her pristine skirt. She gave her daughter and her boyfriend a slightly confused but mostly sad look. Daphne had been there through all of Claudia's mental health problems and as much as she might not have trusted Lucas now, there was no denying that Claudia needed him.

"Brogen will be coming home tomorrow," she murmured. She kissed the top of Claudia's head and left the room without a word.

Once she was gone, Claudia locked the door again, then lead Lucas up the steps to her bed. She was so exhausted. Claudia laid down with her head nuzzled into his warm, clean chest and closed her eyes.

"I didn't know that was the lake your brother died in," she whispered.
 
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Lucas sunk the back of his head into the soft feather stuffed pillows and closed his eyes to keep from crying. He was tired of crying, he had enough crying in the many years he had been alive and the crying never made him feel better. He had heard so much crying too, and that hurt worse then his own pain.

He was too exhausted, he was drifting in the dazed space where you're aware of your surrounding and can respond, but still in a haze. His arm was around Claudia and his hand was rubbing her back gently and calmly.

"He's still there,"
He said to his girlfriend, "I mean, he isn't there, he's dead. I see him." It was his mind playing tricks on him and he knew that. No matter how much therapy he had gotten, his brother would never disappear.

"I hate bodies of water. They terrify me."
He croaked, pinching his lips together tightly. "I can't even take a bath without being afraid."

He breathed in shakily and set his chin a top of her head gently. And he held her close because she was the only comfort in the world to him. The only one who made him feel better even when she wasn't trying. Her presence was more than enough to help Lucas in the long run.
 
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Claudia had known for the longest time that water affected Lucas greatly. How could it not? His brother had drowned to death before his eyes. An incredibly traumatic instance, a horrible thing to witness at such a young age. And Lucas had already been suffering, so Newton's death would have broken him.

And then the disgusting people at their school, her ex friends, had taken his horrible experience and twisted it to make Lucas look like the bad guy.

Claudia hated them. She hated them so much it made her feel sick to her stomach -- though that might have been the bulimia, willing her to throw up again. But she couldn't think about that right now. No, Lucas was the only thing that mattered to her, and he was hurting.

Claudia sat up and planted a kiss to Lucas's lips, a soft kiss that lingered only for a few moments. Seeing Lucas hurt like this hurt her more than any physical or mental pain she could inflict on herself. Claudia didn't even matter to herself anymore -- the only thing that mattered to her was Lucas Remington-Brooks.

Now sitting beside him, Claudia ran her fingers through his hair, gazing down at him as she chewed on her bottom lip. She couldn't think of how to make him feel better with words. Claudia had never been the best with words, and especially not when she was in this depressed state she was in now.

"Tell me how I can make you feel better," she quietly begged, her voice pained. "I'll do anything, just tell me how I can make you feel better."
 
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Lucas opened his eyes, his line of sight blurry and unclear from the unshed tears. He willed them to focus on Claudia and nothing else, because in that moment, in every moment, he needed her. It didn't matter what for in any instance, he just did. Now, he needed her more than ever, just as she did him.

What could she do to help? She was already helping more than she could possibly imagine. Her presence, her being there beside him was more than he could ever hope for. he could simply sit in at his side and say nothing and he'd feel a hundred times better -no, a million ties better.

That was simply because Lucas loved Claudia. And Claudia loved him. With that knowledge, knowing that she loved him still, despite al of the bullshit, it was enough to break the dam in his eyes.

"Can you just ..." He began, hot tears slipping down the sides of his face. His voice shaking so badly he had to pause and attempted to steady it by clearing his throat. Slowly, he picked himself up into a sitting position.

"Can you just hold me?"
He looked into her eyes, pleadingly. He neglected to wipe away the tears that continued to pool in his eyes and focused on the one person that mattered most.

He knew it may have sounded like a childish request and his small voice only help to make it seem that way. Still, he wanted to hug her and from her to envelope him in her warmth and love. He didn't know how long for, but he did care as long as she didn't.
 
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He was crying.

Claudia could have died. She could have melted into a puddle at the sight of her boyfriend losing his control, of the last of his resolve crumbling down around them. He was crying. Immediately, Claudia lifted both of her hands to wipe the tears from his soft, fair cheeks. Lucas, her precious, beautiful Lucas. The only thing that mattered her in this moment.

She silently laid down on her side and pulled Lucas down beside her, resting his head on the pillows. She moved so his face was pressed against the top of her chest, just above her breasts, and she arched her head back to lean against the top of his head. Claudia ran her fingers through his short, soft hair soothingly, and with the other hand caressing his back in slow, soft motions.

All she wanted was for Lucas to feel better. She would give anything in the entire world to erase all of his pain and replace it with love, with the happiness and joy he had deserved for years and years. The happiness and peace that so many horrible, cruel people had kept from him, for no reason other than their own sick amusement. Claudia was disgusted with herself to know that she had once associated with those people. She had dated and lost her virginity to one of those people.

But there was nothing she could do about that.

"I love you." That was the only thing she was certain about anymore -- that she, Claudia Lightwood, was in love with Lucas Remington-Brooks, and he loved her in return.

"And it looks like you're going to have to settle with me, because Embry Ashford had her baby last week," she added in a teary chuckle, an attempt to make him feel better.
 
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Lucas uttered a wet and choked chuckle, blinking away his tears.

That hadn't crossed his mind once. Nor had he the energy to feign any disappointment or heartbreak. It was impossible to do so when all he needed and wanted was holding him in her arms and giving him all the love and solace she possibly could. Happy wouldn't be the best word to describe what he was feeling, but he was in comfort.

Laying on her large bed with her, in her arms, breathing in her scent, he never felt warmer. And if only for a tiny moment, he wanted to forget all the pain that had transpired in his life and think only of her. It was easier to do than he would have thought.

Later, that emptiness would return. But, for now, he wouldn't think about it.

"I don't mind that at all." He mumbled so softly he could barely hear himself. Securely looping his arms around her waist, he went on. "I would like that very much. You are the one I love."
 
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Two weeks had passed, and it was the last day of the year. Claudia was relieved to be finishing her sophomore year, as it was a tough one. But it had highlights, of course, those highlights being Lucas and leaving her toxic friends.

School was out. Claudia and Lucas had stayed back to thank their English teacher so when they approached Claudia's locker, the halls were relatively deserted.

Then, she heard their voices. Anderson's and Eden's. Claudia had been texting Jenna, simply because she had needed someone to talk about the bulimia to. The bulimia, which was back in full swing. She'd stopped cutting, though.

"Lucas." Eden made a weird clicking noise at the 'C' in Lucas's name. It was evident that Eden was still furious with Lucas about what he had done to Anderson. "How's your camera?"

Claudia frowned. "What does that mean?"

"Well, I don't know. Depends on whether he ever picked it up off the forest floor."

"You broke his camera?!" Claudia looked at Lucas. "Why didn't you tell me?"
 
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"When it happened, it was the least of my problems. Our problems." Lucas shrugged his shoulders. He couldn't say he had forgotten because he hadn't. But he didn't think it truly mattered at the time or even after.

He frowned slightly at Eden then at Anders standing beside him, but not out of anger or distaste. He was only mildly confused as to why they bothered approaching them. Or to be more precise, why were they engaging him. Clearly, they were still pissed, though Anders was obviously a little more sad than angry.

"Hell yeah, it was," Anders added, rolling an unlit cigarette between his fingers. "But you two look mighty fine now, don't you?"


"Anders, I - I'm sorry." Lucas meant it, though he doubted it would mean much to the taller boy.

And he was right because he only rolled his eyes,"Whatever." He moved around the two to reach his locker only two doors away from her's.
 
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Knowing that Lucas didn't have his camera, his therapy, made Claudia upset but it saddened her more to know that his friendship with Anders and Eden was practically destroyed. And she couldn't help but feel it was her fault, too. If she had have noticed ...

"Claudia, you're just as bad as him. What are you even doing with him?" Eden leaned against the locker beside Anderson's, very clearly on the side of his best friend.

"He saved my life," Claudia mumbled. "I nearly drowned in the lake."

"What a shame."

Claudia jumped and turned to see Ryan, looking like a god with his green eyes and perfect features, standing a few feet away. He wore nice clothes -- a grey sweater, black jeans. He looked great, but Claudia still scowled at his presence.

"Excuse me?"

"Claudia, really, you should have drowned in the lake." Ryan shrugged. "I hear you're ruining everyone's lives now."

"Who said that?"

"Crystal hears things. Really, everyone's lives would be so much better if you just killed yourself."

Claudia was silent. Then she moved forward, but she was abruptly jerked back by Eden's his hand on her wrist. Eden had a completely void look on his face, and carefully put Claudia behind Lucas and Anderson, doing the same with Jenna.

"Don't try and stop me," he said to Anders, before stalking up to Ryan. Ryan was just about Anderson's height and therefore taller than Eden, but that didn't stop the English boy from punching Ryan in the face so hard, blood splattered across the lockers.
 
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Lucas winced at the sight, but he would be lying if he said it wasn't even a little satisfying seeing Ryan punched as hard as he was. He was sure it must have been painful, but it was nowhere near as painful as the hurt he inflicted on Claudia. Of course, he wasn't one to talk, he had hurt Claudia too. Though, he was trying to make up for it every waking day, unlike Ryan who only proceeded to torture her out of his own amusement. It was revolting.

His eyes narrowed slightly as he watched because he certainly wasn't going to step in. The sick bastard deserved everything he got. If Eden hadn't stepped up, he surely would have. But, when he heard a small, weak sound escape Jenna's mouth as she closed her eyes and turned away, he came to.

Nope. It was unclear to him whether this was wrong or not, but he couldn't let it continue. No matter how much he deserved it.

"Anders, do something," Lucas turned to the brunette, looking upset as much as he was desperate. There was no way he could actually pull Eden away by himself, and Anders probably could.

Anders looked to Lucas, "He told me not to intervene, and plan on doing that exactly." He stuck his unlit cigarette in the corner of his mouth. "The bastard deserves it anyway. We all know it."

"I'm not saying this for his sake, god no!" Lucas gagged a little, "I'm saying it for Eden's. He won't only be expelled but thrown into a hospital again or worse. And I'm looking at worse because he and his parents aren't going to let this go and they're rich as fuck!"

Anders's face stilled as he looked ahead, considering what Lucas said. "Well, shit." He rolled up his sleeves because as much as he hated the so called human being known as Ryan, he cared about his best friend more.


 
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Claudia would be lying if she said she wasn't satisfied by seeing Eden rip into Ryan with such ferocity. That being said, it was disturbing to watch.

Ryan managed to stay upright after the first punch, but then Eden punched him in the stomach, the neck, the arms, the chest, everywhere in short, powerful, rapid motions. In a few second Ryan was on the ground and Eden, who was panting heavily, lurked over him and stomped down on Ryan's forearm so hard everyone in the hall could hear his arm snap.

Ryan grunted in agony and Claudia turned away, hiding behind the boys and wrapping a soothing arm around Jenna's shoulders.

Claudia knew Eden wasn't doing this for her -- he was doing it for Cassidy.

Ryan was completely limp now, and Eden was still going, pressing down on the broken site of his arm. Eden's expression was completely void of any feeling and it was honestly scary to Claudia.

"Anders," Claudia complained. "He's gonna kill him."
 
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Anders ignored the pleading of the others and rushed forward to push Eden off of Ryan in one quick movement. He grabbed him by the shoulders and pressed him against the lockers beside the unconscious boys limp and damaged body. "That's enough, Eden. Snap out of it, man," He warned, sounding dangerous himself, but also cautious and worried.

Lucas glanced at them before rushing forward to check on Ryan's current condition. He lowered himself to the floor and clenched his teeth at the sight before him. He was a complete wreck, frankly, he was unsure if the boy was still breathing. This would not fly over well with anyone.

"Call an ambulance,"
He hurriedly yelled at the girls, his hands hovering over the other male's body. But there wasn't a thing he could think of to do that would be of significant help.

Jenna swallowed and her hands fumbled to find her phone, and once she did she dropped it in her shaking hands. "Shit ... " She whimpered, picking the device back up, but staying crouched near the floor.

"Here, I - I can't," She handed the phone to Claudia her voice was trembling just as bad as her hands.
 
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Eden grunted and tried to throw Anderson off him as he was removed from Ryan, but having put all of his energy into making Ryan suffer, he was exhausted. He slumped against the lockers, observed the wreckage he had made, and looked back to Anderson with a weak, tired expression on his face.

"He ... Cassidy," was all he said.

Claudia felt horrible for Eden but also terrified for him. The only reason Tate had managed to get away with Ryan was because Tate was going to get him on rape charges, even though he had never raped Claudia. But they didn't have that for Eden. Ryan had only said some shitty things, and while he deserved what he got for all the emotional abuse towards Claudia and Lucas, that wasn't going to hold up in court.

"Here," Claudia murmured to Jenna, taking the phone, when a teacher came around the corner.

"Oh my -- what happened?" she asked in alarm, rushing forward and making sure that Ryan was still breathing.

"I beat him up," said Eden weakly.

"Wh --"

"Just call the police and get this over with."