An Iwaku Wedding.

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Corvus Corax, Apr 17, 2010.

  1. This does not take place in a church, not a traditional church anyway. Rather, it was in a church dedicated to the pleasures life had to offer. It took a lot of cleaning to get the Ihor back into a state where it could accommodate the festivities, but everyone was called to give a hand (or in some cases a grumpy look) and once the empty bottles were piled in the back room (along with the bed and ample "supplies" that were there) the decorating could begin.


    *tape fast forwards images of several impromptu parties, as full bottles were found, flashing by*


    Standing at one end of the room, in an immaculately tailored suit, decked out with a spiked leather collar and a chain for a tie stood the groom. Behind the alter a Space Marine chaplain stood next to a grumpy looking lich in a kilt.


    Next to the groom stood the ring bearer/best man, a tall (as tall as the demon groom) black haired guy. The hair was falling into his eyes as he started shifting nervously.


    "You sure you didn't forget?" Vay whispered in a hiss to Faramond.


    "Don't worry I have a ring to give you." came the reply from the grinning man. The demon groaned and looked over the assembled. He shifted nervously as Diana tried to make her chair spin, only to succeed in making it bump into the chair next to her where a large gray knight sat. GMK only looked at her then turned his gaze back to the demon, his hand closing over where his stormbolter usually sat.


    In the row behind her Carl was looking sour, his arms crossed. If you followed his line of sight you would find it landing on the string of the confiscated laser designator sticking out of Diana's back pocket.


    "Wonder where TK and Kitti are, we had to find replacements." The chaplain said to the kilt-wearing lich in an Australian accent. The lich's only response war to glare at a wall angrily, causing a tentacle to retreat out of sight.



    From the corner a song started and three figures skipped onto view, well two skipped the other more bounded. Miru and Archy came first, white tutus bouncing as the cat-boy-girl things bounced through the double door spreading dark red flower petals along the aisle. They were followed by Seiji, who bounded after them adding to the flowery display from his own basket. Then as the music reached its peak the bride appeared.


    All eyes on her, her face hid under a dark veil. Her train (it wasn’t long enough to need carrying, it was more them trying to look up her dress) was carried by three bridesmaids in long dresses and bonnets, though there was variation in each of them. A close look revealed one to be a robot, the one in the center had a rifle, while the third had a horned helmet perched on top of the bonnet. At the sight of the Viking one of the guests stood and blew kisses but was dragged back down with an angry “Sit down Darkness!”


    Suddenly the robot tipped forwards slamming into the carpet and a leg was pulled back into the crowd of guests. "DAMN FACE! NOT AGAIN!" Jinx yelled into the carpet as swarms of squirrels leaped into his bodywork.

    A clear voice rang out from WMD “And now to give away the bride: Asmodeus.”


    A cat in a pink collar, who had been sitting unnoticed next to the altar, had the matching lead handed over to Corvus…who turned to face the Demon, looking away shyly for a second but finally meeting his eyes.
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    “I love weddings.” Said a small girl holding a puppy “OOOH ASMOKITTI-KUN IS SOO CuuuuuuuTE.” she squealed, dropping the scientist puppy. With a yelp the puppy disappeared under the nearest dress. A icy man patted the girls hand, quietly shushing her before flipping out a compact mirror to straighten his hair.


    Mroew reeow worreow reuuur.” said Asmodeus sternly looking at the groom seriousness written on his face. Vay looked at Faramond who shrugged then at Corvus who looked equally confused, then at the Chaplain and Lich who were splitting a bottle of whisky and laughing at a whispered joke. Finally he turned to the cat and nodded, satisfied the cat nodded back and headed for the buffet table.


    The chaplain stood back up, empty bottle still held in his armored hand. “ROIT!” he said banging the bottle on the altar. “HOO THINKS THESE TOO SHOULD NOT BE MARRIED!!!” death was written on his face as he glared at the guests and even Diana and McCarthy looked away from their slap fight.


    PEEEEEEEEEENNNNIIIIISSH.” came the answer.


    A kitsune shot down the aisle waving a fox plushie over her head and promtly laid into the groom beating him with the fearfull plushie.


    YOU STOLE MY PROM DATE!” came a shout from the window as Kitti jumped through the glass and jumped onto the demon's back and began slapping the back of his head. “And my Corvus-ho.” screamed the kitsune.


    WMD was not impressed. With a grunt he picked up the Kitti and TK and unceremoniously bumped them next to the buffet table. “NO MORE MUCKING ABOUT YOU TWO!” he roared as Grumpy, holding two empty bottles slid his way over the top of the alter.


    SO CUTE!~<3” Kitti yelled in seeing Asmodeus.


    Mrow!” The cats eyes grew large as he saw Psy jumping over seats to grab him first.


    Woof?” Ike breathed as TK hugged him.... tightly.


    You want to lump it with him?” Grumpy asked jerking his head at the groom who was busy trying to hold his torn jacket together.


    Corvus glared at the lich and pulled one of the bottles out of his hand, taking a swig before breaking it over Grumpy's head. “Damn right!” she said throwing the neck of the bottle aside. Grumpy slump-ducked down behind the alter, vanishing for a moment. “Right and you take Corvus, right Vay-bra?” WMD said standing next to grumpy who was actually retrieving another bottle from under the alter.



    I do?” Vay said telling up to his bride.


    Right thats settled lets get pished. May as well kiss and get the ring on too. OOOh wait before I forget... um... By the power bested in me by the immortal god emperor...”


    And by the power vested in me by thish’ bottle of scotch......”


    ......we now pronounce you heretic and wife... no husband and wife.”


    Cheers, clapping and general violence erupted as McCarthy waved his designator over his head in triumph.

    Umm... here take these quick.” Faramond said handing the bride and groom the appropriate rings.


    GRUMPY!” McCarthy yelled before the designator turned into a banana and Rory sniggered.


    The couple used the time to escape, running past the graveyard where a zombie and a cutesy girl sat head-banging to Russian metal before jumping on the back of a flaming purple moose and heading for what was once the dimension of moethings for a honeymoon of debauchery and hunting.


    *Photography: Sho...in his corner. Booze: Oro. Music: Jumi. Food and buffet table: October. Entertainment...:everyone. The supplier of cuffs for the wedding night: Mara and Ric.*






    Written by Vay.
    Posted and Edited by Corvus.
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    • Like Like x 2
  2. Time to write the honeymoon, that won't go public though.
     
  3. How adorabuuuuuu!
     
  4. I HELPED WRECK A WEDDING! YAAAAAAAAAY!

    ..... There's no mention of the rings, though..... THE RINGS...
     
  5. Loved it, like to see some more funny lolstories.
     
  6. You know that buffet table was loaded with Tacos.
     



  7. =D

     
  8. NO! I MEAN THE OTHER RINGS!
     
  9. Oh god...I just thought up some shenanigans that two space marines will likely be getting into.
     

  10. .....OHHHHHHHHHHHHH! ...Wait why would my piercings be mentioned in the wedding O_o
     
  11. BECAUSE I'M OBSESSED WITH THEM!

    *Is currently playing with them right now while sitting in Corvus' lap*
     
  12. ......i now have inspiration for Chaplain and Lich drunk stories.

    and perhaps even a drawing!

    FUCK YES. A DRAWING!

    *bearhugs vaybro and Crovy for the idea*