An Iwaku Christmas

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Pirogeth, Dec 11, 2009.

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  1. My slaughtered attempt at one of these.

    [align=center]An Iwaku Christmas[/align]


    The snow gently fell outside the window of the Iwaku Building’s theatre. All of the members were gathered inside while a Midwestern pine lit up the room in a variety of colors. At the top was a Gundam brought in by the two Asians in the corner.

    PAOROU: ”DERP herpaderp.”

    I say, that really does bring the eastern touch to this western holiday.

    OROCHI: ”Derp herp. Derpaherp.”

    Quite so my dear friend. Cheers.

    Meanwhile at the opposite end of the room, there were three members gathered around the eggnog. One in a suit looking to defend a client, one Australian who was sporting a communist get up, and finally a Venezuelan with an attitude.

    XINDARIS: “And I think the members made this eggnog.”

    WMD: “Ah but it was the staff who provided it.”

    XINDARIS: “You got to be kidding, you need members to enjoy it and give it life.”

    WMD: “But it would not be here without the help of them good ol’ staffies.”

    DARKNESS: “Hye-e-e-ah dumbass.”

    SAKURA: “EID-UL-ADHA MUBARAK!!!”

    DARKNESS: “Did you just say Medulla Oblongata?”

    TORSTY: “Shut up Darkness you don’t even know how to spell that.”

    DARKNESS: “Uhhhhhhhh…no.”

    SAKURA: ”COME ON EVERYBODY CELEBRATE WITH CANDY EVERYWHERE!”

    The overenthusiastic girl skips off to the tree where the two Wisemen and Wisewoman are talking.

    SAKURA: ”EID-UL-ADHA MUBARAK ASMO-SAMA, DIANA-CHAN, AND RORY-KUN!!!”

    ASMO: “Excuse me for a minute I need to go out to my car to get my presents. Would Diana like to come with?”

    DIANA: “No thank you, I’ll sit by the tree.”

    ASMO: “But one of them is for you.”

    RORY: “Come on Diana take a chance.”

    SAKURA: “YEAH TAKE A CHANCE DIANA-CHAN-KUN-SAMA!!!”

    DIANA: “Rory your held accountable for this!”

    Diana is dragged away by Asmo as the cameraman arrives.

    CAMERAMAN: “Sorry I’m late, that snowstorm that swept by buried my car.”

    TORSTY: “Hey we can use this to get rid of the snow.”

    Torsty holds up the Menorah that was sitting on the table.

    RORY: “Hey put that down, don’t you know anything! Why back in the day the Syrian battle was on and-“

    SAKURA: “COME ON RORY BE HAPPY! SEE?”

    Sakura smiles wide and takes up the whole camera screen.

    CAMERAMAN: “Uh…hello again. Mind backing out of the shot?”

    SAKURA: “WHY MR. CAMERAMAN-DESU-SAMA-CHAN-KUN!!?”

    DARKNESS: “Hey look Torsty…pedophile.”

    TORSTY: “Oooh yeah. Heh heh.”

    A man dressed as a Fox Monk entered through the door.

    FROST: “I rolled a 15 so I can finally enter the party!”

    VAY: “Welsome Frost. I rilled that an hour ago.”

    ALARICE: “Yeah and look, the lions aren’t picking on me anymore!”

    FROST: “Where is the bathroom? I need to go but I can’t roll a 20.”

    Diana comes crashing back into the party.

    DIANA: “That is the last time you talk me into getting presents from that thing.”

    Diana stomps past the cameraman revealing a large tire track on the back of her coat.

    ASMO: “But you have to admit, that present did require two people to lift it.”

    Both took their seats by the tree as the Cameraman proceeded to enter another group of people.

    PALONIS: “Come on Porg think.”

    PORG: *sips tea* “Meh, I’ll do it later. You take over for now. It is my Christmas present to you.”

    PALONIS: “I may be more responsive than you in the world but I cannot take it on alone.”

    CAMERAMAN: “So where is Jack and the others?”

    PORG: “They went on a vacation.”

    PALONIS: “Yeah some place hot. But do not worry, we still have enough around for you to keep your job throughout the winter.”

    CAMERAMAN: “How nice.”

    PALONIS: “But to make up for the lack of people we also gave you the job of watching Sakura.”

    SAKURA: ”UWEEEE! HURRAY ME AND CAMERAMAN-DESU-CHAN WILL BE HAVING A LOT OF FUN THIS WINTER.”

    Before the anxiety could take over there was a familiar laugh inside the theatre.

    “HO HO HO AND MERRY CHRISTMAS!”

    Bursting through the door and ramping up to the stage was Pirogeth on a snowmobile.

    PIROGETH: “Let’s begin opening presents!”

    Everyone could not help but agree. The presents started to be unwrapped one by one. Asmodeus was the first to open one from Palonis.

    ASMO: “Oh…great. An Iwaku World Membership Pass.”

    PALONIS: “Not just that but you get to enjoy our theme park too.”

    ASMO: “You have a theme park?”

    PORG: “Hey why does this thing have ‘To Palonis, From Porg’ written on the back huh?”

    PALONIS: “The gift of giving you know?”

    PORG: “You regifting son of a bitch!”

    Porg proceeded to tackle Palonis as the rest went on opening their presents. The next to open their present was Patty.

    PATTY: “Oh I wonder what I got, I hope it is what I think it is.”

    She opened the large present to find a box with air holes in it.

    PATTY: “Oh yes!”

    Taking the crowbar to it she opened to find a captured Hatter from the Sci Fi channel. Almost immediately she took off smashing Frost out of the way to the bathroom.

    FROST: “Come on! I just rolled a 20!”

    PIROGETH: “Frost get up here, we got one for you. This one is from Torsty.”

    The small present rattled as it was tossed over to him. Carefully he removed the wrappings to find a small box with three dice in it.

    FROST: “What is it?”

    TORSTY: “It is like, your own DnD box channel or something.”

    DARKNESS: “Uh-huh-huh, good one Torsty. Open my gift next.”

    TORSTY: “Okay, hold on Venezuelan.”

    DARKNESS: “What you always wanted right?”

    TORSTY: “A Viking action figure?”

    DARKNESS: “Pull the string…dumbass.”

    Torsty pulls the string on the back.

    “Y-o-our a dumbass.”

    “Stupid Jew.”

    “Fucking idiot.”

    TORSTY: “This is the best Insult Viking ever.”

    The camera pans back over to the two still at the eggnog bowl.

    WMD: “Here Xindaris, it is still Christmas.”

    XINDARIS: “What is it?”

    WMD: “Go ahead and open it.”

    XINDARIS: “Wow what a broad arrangement of alcohol.”

    WMD: “I knew you’d like it.”

    XINDARIS: “Here open mine.”

    WMD: “Alright I always wanted this one.”

    Pulling out the book the camera zooms in. TEN REASONS WHY DEMOCRACY DOESN’T WORK

    SAKURA: ”I GOT YOU A PRESENT TOO CAMERAMAN-DESU-CHAN.”

    Sakura gives him a large amount of candy and sweets left over from her own party.

    CAMERAMAN: “Oh lovely, candy.”

    SAKURA: ”UH HUH!”

    DIANA: “Hey Piro, got you something too.”

    PIROGETH: “You did? What is it?”

    Diana hands Piro a piece of paper.

    DIANA: “Get my to-do list done please?”

    PIROGETH: “Several characters will die for this.”

    ASMO: “Shut up you fruitcake. Just get in line so we can get this over quickly.”

    The cameraman pulls out the camera and tries to line up the shot of everyone at the party.


    [align=center]MERRY CHRISTMAS IWAKU[/align]
     
  2. ....... Mew....

    I like it.... but it must have more destruction...
     
  3. ....

    ...right.
     
  4. I concur with the Kitsune.

    MOAR MUTUAL ASSURED DESTRUCTION!!!
     
  5. Then next time destruction it shall be.
     
  6. Mur.....

    *Grumbles*
     
  7. Seems like the Kiedran Natani was left out of here oh well I'm not complaining at all it was rather funny and interesting *woof*.

    *well I didn't say I wouldn't do it all the time in my posts now did I*
     
  8. I don't say dumbass :(
     
  9. Now you do.
     
  10. AH GOT AN AWESOME BOOK MOTHERFUCKERS!
    *parties*
     
  11. Yaru na, Ein.

    (That's too bad, Ein.)
     
  12. Yep. That is pretty much EXACTLY what i would do. lol

    PLEEEEEEESE get me Hatter for Christmas? ^_^
     
  13. Nihahah :33

    I think Pironii did a good job :) It was funny and upbeat and fluffy. Less destructive, dramatic and mindboggling than Asmupuu's, but nice in its own Writing in the Moonlight, way :D
     
  14. I like the way Pao and Oro talk!
     
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