An Insanity Christmas

[Blind Hemingway]

Meet Krampus. He has a message for all you dirty trouble makers on the forum, "I'm going to rape you with a stick."

 

[Vay]

BAH! He always promises but never puts out.

 

[Karsikan the Berzerker]

Fuckin tease

 

[Ochalla]

Oh oh, is it time to show evidence that Santa is really Satan?

 

[Blind Hemingway]

The future of Fel, right here. Poor Fel.

 

[Fel of the Eternal Forest]

 

[Blind Hemingway]

♪All Ocha wants for Christmas is a buff reindeer♪

 

[Ochalla]

I'm not part of the furry community.

....


Besides everyone know that only female reindeer keep their antlers in the winter months so it must be a trap, which is not my thing either.

 

[Vay]

Still good fer skinnin' an' eatin'. Yep.

 

[Tegan]

Oh oh, is it time to show evidence that Santa is really Satan?

Don't be silly. Only operates at night, can enter homes by changing his size/turning into vapor, animal and fae familiars, an unholy immortal bride, maintaining the same level of health and vitality despite being old as fuck. All evidence points to the nosferatu. Possibly incubus.


8[

 

[Asmodeus]

So... he only comes out at Christmas... when there are SHIT LOADS of holy symbols everywhere...?

*divorces Tegan*

 

[Tegan]

*Tacks the red string to the evidence wall*

It doesn't make sense! *tears photos from the wall* IT'S ALL SHIT!

Unless...

Maybe the vampires are the ones funding these massive marketing campaigns during Christmas, the stores that have Christmas stuff up in July. They're taking the holy stuff out.

IT'S ALL SO SUDDENLY CLEAR. THEY'RE TRYING TO RUIN CHRISTMAS.






Spoiler: Jesus is head vampire.

 

[Asmodeus]

WELL TONIIIGHT THANK GOD IT'S THEM NOS-FER-A-TUUUUUU!

 

[Ochalla]

Jesus gives head to vampires? That explains the miracle of his rising.

 

[Paorou-sama]

SO MUCH HERESY IN THIS THREAD.

THIS IS EXACTLY WHY NONE OF YOU HAVE EVER RECEIVED A GIFT FROM ME.

 

[Torsty]

headbutts in philly are not included?

 

[Blind Hemingway]

SO MUCH HERESY IN THIS THREAD.

THIS IS EXACTLY WHY NONE OF YOU HAVE EVER RECEIVED A GIFT FROM ME.

That's not true. You've given me gifts before.

 

[Karsikan the Berzerker]

That's not true. You've given me gifts before.

Herpes doesn't count

 

[Darkness]

lol innuendos herpa derp

 

[Paorou-sama]

'MURICA-HRISTMAS