Alone and depressed on new years eve.........

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by THEbutterman, Jan 1, 2015.

  1. I just found me girlfriend cheating on me a couple of hours ago. for the second time.

    The girl ive been in love with for three years just disowned me.

    i have no friends to talk to.

    anyone that wants to talk to me please do, i really want someone to talk to
  2. It seems I caught this a little late since you seem to be offline now.

    Though honestly if this is a recurring thing I feel the need to suggest to get yourself out of that relationship/cycle.
    It only causes pain, the sooner you leave/cut yourself off the sooner you can grow past it and be happy, even if the initial cutting off hurts a lot.
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  3. i honestly dont know what i would do without her. im in love with her and i have been for a while
  4. Now note, I'm just some guy from the Internet.
    I don't know you, or your girlfriend so you may very well be best off ignoring me completely.
    Anything I say is strictly based on the information I've been told here, so please keep that in mind.

    That being said, I can relate.
    Love is perhaps the strongest, most eye opening and most wonderful feeling that human beings are capable of possessing.
    But it is also the most fragile, blinding, and painful feeling that human beings are capable of possessing.

    And quite honestly? You can never control who you love, love just doesn't work that way.
    But you can choose how you let those you do love affect you.
    Loving a person isn't the same as being happy with them, you may gain happiness from them simply by loving them. But that doesn't mean there may not be pain that outweighs it. And on top of that, her cheating on you shows the dedication/loyalty to you is not on par to what you have towards her. Especially if she's done it more than once.

    And in such a situation they simply are not right for you. A relationship should be people who love, care about, respect and make each other happy. Not one person being in constant pain/neglect from what the other is doing. And I won't lie, ending such a thing hurts. You don't instantly walk away feeling happy, in fact you're likely to walk away even more hurt and broken at first. But what walking away from such a relationship does it prevents the pain/grief from continuing to get worse, and it will start a healing process which by the end of you should be happy on your own again, and be able to find someone who truly does care for you, and wouldn't take advantage of you.

    This was something that had to happen near the end of my High School career. It hurts, a lot. And the love honestly doesn't go away, you will still feel moments of pain and regret. But ultimately you learn to be happier, you become the source of your happiness. You walk away stronger for it, and will one day find someone who get along better with, where drama like this shouldn't happen. Where instead of coming online and writing posts about how hurt you are, you come on and brag about how much they make you glow, feel special, happy, how amazing they are etc.
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  5. Hey man, I don't have much experience with relationships and I certainly can't say I've ever been in your situation, but I know how hard it is to love someone who doesn't respect you. Honestly, if they're willing to emotionally hurt you like that, then there is no point in hanging onto them. It might be hard for you to here this, but she clearly doesn't much care for you or your feelings and you ought to let her go before she hurts you even more. Trust me, it may just be one of hardest things for you to do, but you'll be much better off in the end, I guarantee it. Healing takes time, though; weeks, months, maybe even longer.

    It took me over a year to get over my relationship. She may not have cheated on me, but she sure as hell tossed me out like yesterday's trash, and I'm pretty sure I deserved it, too. But now that it's all over, I feel much better than I did before; I even learned a few things, about myself, and about life in general.

    In the meantime, if you're feeling lonely, feel free to message me, my inbox is open. I'll be your friend to talk to for as long as you like.
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  6. I couldn't have said it any better then this.

    and THEbutterman, you are not alone, we are always here for you!
  7. @THEbutterman I've happened to notice that it says you're 16 on your profile... meaning you'd be 13 when you got into this relationship, correct? I have two pieces of advice for you.

    1. Don't get stuck

    I had the worst time getting over my very first boyfriend, as I had convinced myself he was the love of my life and that we would get married and I wasn't meant for anyone else. There's so many people out there, but that doesn't mean you have to give up on her - and don't be mad at her for cheating. You are so young, and this is right around the time kids will be experimenting with relationships. Just don't convince yourself for a year and a half (like I did) that they're the only one in the world for you and that you can't possibly move on.

    2. Talk to Her

    Communication and trust are the biggest factors in a relationship. I want you to see her, face to face, and ask her why she is cheating. Sweetheart, it could have nothing to do with you. Some girls in their first couple relationships start to feel caged up and that they're stuck with one person the rest of their life, and it's not because she doesn't love you... it's much akin to a bird needing to flex it's wings. Even people who have been in relationships for years just start to get bored with it. It's not because they no longer love their partner... humans just crave new things. Taking a break can be a good thing, you just need to see if you can trust her enough to believe she will return.
  8. Actually i forgot to mention in the post that my girlfriend, whom i also love, is not the one who disowned me. the one who disowned me is a childhood friend who i realized three years ago i had deep feelings for
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  9. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that :( Iwaku is a great place for you to talk to people, though! I've had an extremely rough time in real life as of late... but if you look around there will be plenty of supportive people here if you need someone to talk to. I think you'll find a good majority of Iwakuvians had suffered a great deal of loss in their life- empathy will not run short here.

    If you don't mind me asking, what happened with your friend that made her disown you?
  10. O___O I think you need to spend some time and start loving you. ~hugs~ I'm so sorry you feel sad and lonely and during the holidays, its just the pits.

    Being unsure that you can't live without another person sounds like the worst kind of flaw in a mate for life.

    I...can only speak from many many experiences that loving someone is just not enough, you have to love yourself enough to keep picking up the pieces.

    Everyone gets their hearts broken and broken heart don't just occur from romantic love but all kinds of loves. Being so young its important that you take on this new year and do right by you and don't worry about other people right now. Worry about you. If she cheated on you twice, she didn't really have ANY respect for you. Trust me, you don't want someone who has no respect for you.

    Being disowned and heart broken can give us some of the worst pains we may ever feel. Always remember that NO ONE OWNS YOU and YOU ARE LOVED no matter what. Someone is out there waiting for you to pick yourself up and grow and everything you are feeling right now is preparing you for that new person. Change is a terrifying thing to feel and especially under these circumstances, but no better a time than the New year.

    Don't sit around waiting for people that hurt you so badly, align yourself with people who make you feel good and are happy with you just as you are. Believe me, patience and time will prove that they are out there, just waiting for you. Don't give up, and keep going! Happy new years and Welcome to Iwaku :)

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