ROLEPLAY aftermath conflict

Discussion in 'ROLEPLAY HELP' started by Rebornfan120, Dec 2, 2017.

  1. Well I seek advice for this. Well after being left hanging on a roleplay I had the unfortunate timing of losing a partner of a roleplay due to outside personal issue beyond her control for the most part which also hit the confidence down already and I'm now at a roleplay impass I believe. On one hand I have made a thread outside of this but I do not feel like posting it because I feel like I know the impending result and the next hand I also feel like stepping away because I am not feeling it. Any thoughts or advice on what to do?
     
  2. It's perfectly normal to feel as you do, first of all. Roleplays are a huge emotional investment and time investment, and it can be hard losing them, especially if it feels like a huge hit to you.

    My advice sounds simple, but could be difficult. It might not work for your case, but it did work for me when I was struggling with such feelings.

    Think of every roleplay as development: your characters, your stories, your skills. Even if it ends prematurely, you were given a chance to hone your skills and ideas. Even if it ends, and you miss the RP, you can at least know that something of it will stay with you as a person.

    I found it easier to move forward, thinking that even losing RPs or being dropped, I gained something from the experience.

    Also, something else that may help you to move forward and post your new search might be as simple as contacting your partner who had to stop due to life getting in the way and offering to just chat sometimes. Staying friends despite losing a roleplay has, in the past, made it hurt less for me, and it's also opened doors to future roleplays (or continued roleplays later) with those partners.

    It's important to look at the sunny side, and to make a sunny side, if you have to.
     
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  3. The roleplay that ended prematurely though it did not even get a chance to post about the starter first though so there goes any chance to hone my skills. About the sunny side i do not think i can see nor make one and even if i expand my search i still feel the result will be the same and it will be a zero interest for anyone. Opening a chat line from a rp that has stalled maybe but i do not know because i'm more unsure about the impending result from that angle
     
  4. I think even in those cases, there are things to learn from the experience. If nothing else, you can reuse the starter, or consider it practice at writing RP starts. There's always something to take from it if you're persistent in looking.

    It sounds like you're feeling as though starting new roleplays may be hopeless. I want to assure you, I've not seen that be the case in my experiences here, and I'm positive you and your perfect partner just haven't stumbled across each other yet.

    Don't worry about the result so much, for one. Put your ideas out there in a positive, inviting manner, take advantage of all that Iwaku offers (like banner ads and RP resumes), and be patient. You don't have to accept the first person who takes your bait, either. More will come. The main thing to keep in mind is to keep a friendly tone in your thread that gives the impression you're a welcoming individual who wants to find a partner as eager to tell a story as you are.

    Our Roleplay Skillbuilding section has a lot of great guides, resources, and exercises that might help you to gain knowledge and (more importantly) confidence at most things roleplay-related.

    Be persistent, be patient, be communicative once you find someone, and try your best to keep an open mind.

    Oftentimes, Iwaku members are nervous around people because they don't know how they'll react, so that's another thing to keep in mind. Sometimes, it can take a little prompting: a PM after maybe three or four weeks asking "Hey, was there something you didn't like in our discussions or my post? If so, I'd like to discuss it and see if we can work out a solution that works for both of us." Just remember not to harass them! Asking the same thing every few days after they don't respond can be reported as harassment, and that's no fun for anyone—it makes people feel unsafe, and could lead to a warning or ban.
     
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  5. In roleplay - especially forum roleplay, you sort of just have to take things like this in stride. Unfortunately, completed roleplays are a VERY rare thing, just because real life has a tendency to get in the way, or other factors mess things up. But the idea isn't to give up - You may find a new partner who has more time. Just need to get back out there and try again. And the best thing to remember is ideas don't expire. You can always pick up where you left off if your partner is able to come back some day :)
     
  6. Well this is not based on forum roleplays. This is from PM's and roleplaying there without forums. I don't think i can take it in stride if it feels like it keeps happening again and again but i do know real life is in the way along with random factors. Even though i understand you telling me to try again part of me is like 'What's the point? If there wasn't any interest before what makes the next time any different?' I know i can pick up where a partner left off if they come back but my confidence and belief is not that high.
     
  7. Well you definitely won't get any results if you don't try!

    It can be a bit disheartening, surely, not to have anyone reply to your partner searches... But you have to remember that if you give up completely, you'll never find a partner!

    Maybe your writing-partner-to-be hasn't joined the site yet! Maybe they didn't get a chance to see your search thread! The key is never giving up, cause you never know who'll be around the next corner.

    This is completely normal! While it's not a good thing to feel, losing partners for whatever reason can (and most usually will!) be a confidence crusher. But it isn't something you should focus too hard on. Grieve for what you lost and move on to bigger and brighter things!

    Now for the roleplay you aren't feeling... Do you know why? If you do, you have the option of fixing it or dropping it gracefully. If you know what's wrong, you can always message your partner and let them know what's happening and see if there's a way to change up the plot/storyline! OOC communication is key! But sometimes our muses burn out and we're no longer inspired to continue. And that's okay! Just remember to do whatever works best for you!
     
  8. Yep. What Rissa said. You'll never know if you aren't willing to try :)
     
  9. Both of you bring up some good points but in my view at this point i feel like trying is pointless because i feel like the inevitable result would be zero interest in the thread even though i have been tinkering with it off site here for some time. I may not currently share the same confidence or optimism as you guys though but i know you're trying to help.
     
  10. It's not so much about confidence or optimism though as it is you're 100% guaranteed to fail if you never try. You should at least give it a shot - and then if it doesn't work out it doesn't work out, but at least you put the effort out. Otherwise, you're giving up before you give anyone a chance to change your perspective :)
     
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  11. Well to be honest when it comes to a shot due to posting a roleplay requesting interest i feel there is not going to be a interest in terms of it even if i did post it hence my perspective may not change. I love roleplaying but sometimes i get the feeling that no matter what i do i may not have that interesting partner that will be on the same wavelength that i put out i am looking for.
     
  12. Well... Then I'm not sure what advice anyone can give you. Sounds like you've already made up your mind not to try. Best of luck, whatever you decide!
     
  13. Well i thank you all for your advice to me. I may just do some searching before i post the new thread again. I really want to get out of the funk i am feeling. I think for me is when you feel like when your mojo is gone it is harder to get it back if it makes any sense and that this point i feel like i lost that, my confidence and my belief so i know from looking that your advice is with the best of intentions.
     
  14. Going through a funk is completely normal.

    You don't have control over what happens in regards to your partner's circumstances, but you do have control over how you choose to respond to it. This is a very large forum. The last time I was active (a year ago), there were anywhere between five and fifteen new members a day- on top of the hundreds (thousands) already on the site. Of these members, the writing skill varies from beginner to Jorick, and I'm willing to bet if I headed over to the partner search section I would find upwards of ten pages full of people looking for a new partner. You don't want to get stuck on role playing with one person (especially when the role play was only in the start up phase.) Why would you want to limit yourself in that sense?

    If you're worried, as you seem to be, about people not showing interest- you may be right. If its true I am willing to bet it would be due to your attitude about the situation. As mentioned, there are hundreds (if not more) members on the site; if given the choice would you rather role play with someone positive and eager to begin, or someone defeated before its begun?

    Again, we all go through funks. Though I haven't role played in ages, I am writing a book and know what it's like. When that happens I step away for a bit and come back when I'm ready. Perhaps, that is what you need. A lot of people on this thread gave you some really solid advice, but you've rejected it at every turn. It leads me to believe you're just sad and want someone to listen. That's okay. Just accept it for what it is. Take a break. Hone your skills in the skill building section, and form connections outside the role playing aspects.

    I do hope you find your stride. But if you're thinking of shooting down this advice too, don't waste the time.
     
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  15. Thank you Hope. But i am not shooting down advice as much as i am really at times unsure about it. I'm thinking about taking a break and to better myself. Even though the partner was a good roleplayer and friend i get into a mindset sometimes that no matter what i do i may not be interesting to people and i sometimes do not listen as i continue to push how i'm feeling and my point of view if i don't feel understood. As much as i do not want to accept it but have to now i thank you all for your advice to this. Even though i was being thickheaded about my perspective.
     
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