Afterlife Scoreboard

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Asuras, Aug 18, 2015.

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  1. The other day my friend and I were discussing something or other and eventually came to what I thought was a funny idea; an afterlife score list. What if, after you die, you are shown an infinite list of scores detailing your life before you died? Things like:

    • Number of times you said the word 'blank'
    • Pounds of meat eaten
    • Hours spent sitting at traffic lights
    • Number of times you pet an animal

    It could be anything! If you died and got to see your scores list, what would you want to know about your life in terms of numbers?
     
  2. I WANT TO KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I TRIED TO HUG OR PET AND CAT AND IT JUST IGNORED ME!
     
    • Bucket of Rainbows Bucket of Rainbows x 1
    • Go Home, You're Drunk Go Home, You're Drunk x 1
    • You Need a Hug You Need a Hug x 1
  3. I'd like to know the amount of times I've cringed at something stupid I've done in the past, it's probably already greater than a million by this point.

    Or better yet, the amount of times I spent imitating a cat, likely to be just has high.
     
  4. I'd want to know how many times I've hit Alt+Tab on my computer while playing a game just because I don't like what song's playing.

    (It happens several times a day.)
     
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  5. The number of shits and the volume of it, along with the closest equivalent sized thing, over the course of my life.

    I really want to know if I pooped a battleship.
     
    • Love Love x 1
  6. The number of times I've turned down social interaction in favour of independent activities.

    I want to know how much of a loser I am.
     
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    • Nice execution! Nice execution! x 2
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    • WTF Did I Just Read WTF Did I Just Read x 1
  9. Number of times I've poked myself in the eye by accident

    Number of times I've stared at a wall for more then a hour

    Number of times I've caused physical harm to others by accident

    all probably in the millions
     
  10. The number of times I've mauled myself in the face with my own knee.
    The number of times I've played stupid music and forgot my headphones weren't plugged in.
    The number of times I've said "dude".
    The number of times I've choked on my own spit while laughing.
     
  11. Number of times I've cleaned my glasses.

    Number of times my glasses were dirtied in some obvious way.

    I swear I never even touch my lenses or anything and yet somehow they're constantly smudged up despite me not even knowing how they got dirty in the first place. I want to see how these numbers stack up.
     
  12. How many hours in total I slept.
     
  13. Time spent masturbating. Go big or go home.
     
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    • Nice execution! Nice execution! x 1
  14. Same.

    Number of times I've said stupid shit.
     
  15. Number of times I accidentially hurt someone XP You wouldn't believe how things just sorta fell into place for a 1% chance of someone getting hurt happening.

    Here's a few examples.
    A friend was riding a bike and I thought "let's hit his back tire with this basketball" so I throw it and it hit PERFECRLY Inbetween the tire and the bottom frame, Jamming the front tire and flipping the bike over -.-

    And another time me and my friend was playing this game and I threw this 95% padded bat at him. But apparently god hates my friends because the very small 5% plastic part is what hit him and cracked his head open -_-

    And PE has too many for me to count so that's why I want a check list of that XD
     
  16. I'd like to know the total amount of time spent trying to gain the attention of an animal, be it a cat, dog, horse or bird.

    Also the number of times I've accidentally tossed my phone across the room thanks to those pesky chargers.

    And of course, the total amount of ice cream eaten.
     
  17. Number of people who really, truly loved me, regardless of when or how long they did so

    Total tally of goals met; big or small.

    Number of people whose lives were improved in any way by my writing

    Number of stars seen

    Total Pokemon caught
     
    • Bucket of Rainbows Bucket of Rainbows x 1
  18. Eeee I think about this kind of thing all the time. When I die I totally wanna see a list of life stats or something :P

    I dunno if any of these are repeated but...

    Number of footsteps
    Number of times you caught a cold
    Number of white lies you've made
    % of lies you successfully caught from others
    How often you were lied to
    How many inches of your hair you cut off during your lifetime
    How many shirts you owned
    # of games played
    # people met
    # of true friends
    How many times you brushed/combed your hair
    How many pencils you broke (including snapping the lead on a mechanical one)
    How many pens you ran dry
    How many books you read from start to finish
    A pie chart showing how you allotted your time on an average day in percentages (bonus points if you get to split it up into phases of your life instead of averaging everything)
    How often you ate x food
    What word you said/typed/thought the most
    Rudest thought you thought about another person
    Thing you felt most guilty about
    Thing that made you the happiest
    How many dots you've marked on paper when bored
    How many plastic bags you threw out
    % contribution to global warming and pollution?
    How many songs you listened to/how long you spent listening to music


    Just

    Everything

    *spends all of eternity after death going over my 'stats'*

    Bonus points if all of the goals you've ever made are an achievements list :P
     
  19. pints of blood lost total throughout your life.

    Number of Nosebleeds one has had.

    Number of cuts one has had
     
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