Activate my Heart

Zaeden was actually feeling curious about these sort of hobbies that Loki had. Honestly he had never even paid attention to such things so he knew nothing about them, though his face remained the same, his eyes glinted for a second. His body turned ever so slightly to face Loki more head on. Seeing as they hit a low point in the flow of workers the two might actually have a bit of time to talk. He had no idea why he even wanted to 'chat' with someone else seeing as he wasn't that sort of 'person', but he was intrigued by Loki.

Almost torn between asking Loki more about his hobbies, and unsure of how to even form the words. He wasn't accustomed to talking about things like this. Before he could figure out how to Loki was talking again. Zaeden's eye brow raised, ever so slightly, showing his confusion. The more he was around Loki the more expressionate he was getting, even if it was only on an extremely minor scale.

"What do you mean?" His voice was still flat as ever, but was softer now, so only Loki could hear his voice making they're conversation seem more private. Zaeden was a sort of shut in himself, although he had wondered around from city to city, he merely observed people instead of interacting with them, so there were some parts of the social order that he wasn't used to. This was the reason why he seemed rude most of the time, he didn't comprehend some of the costumes of normal people, or more like he just didn't care to learn it. He was fine living the way he was.
 
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He noted a slight change in the others expression, or maybe it was just the way he was being observed. He realized that the other did have expression, but they were so minutely varying that he had to almost completely focus just on that to catch them. And in reality it was impossible to do so, but those tiny flickers were slowly starting to give him hints about this strange person.

He leaned back against the shelving as the other turned to face him, taking some of the pressure off his legs as he took the time to rest as they talked. He noticed the males expression change again in that subtle way and realized that his question had sparked something. Surprise? Confusion? Discomfort?

When he spoke Loki decided it was confusion and made a mental note of it before he glanced away. He blushed slightly, realizing that perhaps he had incorrectly assumed so mething about the other. "Ah...just...well..." He laughed awkwardly, realizing what he was about to say may be a bit offensive. "I guess I just assumed that you were normal." He finally said, quickly giving the other an apologetic smile.

"I don't mean anything rude by that." He added quickly, waving a dismissive had as he tried to buy himself a moment to form his next thought. He glanced away again, cool blue eyes looking at the people milling around the bar, a gentle smile on his lips. "I just thought you'd be like them." He said softly, meaning all those he considered others from himself.

"Y'know. Going out and drinking with friends after work. Having girlfriends. Going to movies and amusement parks." His finger picked anxiously at the shelf it rested on. "I've never done any of that stuff, but I know I'm not normal. But I had kind of assumed that you were the type to always have plans lined up. You seem like you would be popular with others." He decided to keep his face averted, even in the dim bar he knew his flushed features would be obvious if he looked at the other.

He was quiet a moment before laughing tightly. "Sorry, it was rude of me to think about you that way I think. Even if I'd been right, it's still horrible to assume things about others." His smile faltered for a moment. Maybe others wouldn't have admitted what they'd been thinking, or maybe they would have just laughed it off. But he didnt like to be dishonest either. He wondered if the other would be annoyed with him, he was usually a good judge of people and so had never guessed wrong before with his other coworkers. It felt a bit awkward.
 
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Normal. Zaeden had heard that word before many, many times. His first year of life was filled will people -humans- telling him he wasn't normal, that he was broken. He was a malfunctioning machine that needed to be fixed. In that sense of the word he hated it. What was so wrong with the way he was? They had wanted to scrap him and start over, but he didn't let that happen. He may be broken, but he was alive, at least that's how he saw it. He wanted to be left alone to live the way he please, even if he found no pleasure in anything.

But as he listened to Loki and watched him fidget he knew that, this was not how he was using the word. So Zaeden did not take it too offense. Loki was more like him then he had previously thought. He was a loner too. Though he was a loner for his own reasons, that were obviously different from his. Suddenly as he watched Loki's hands fidget and his face look everywhere else but his as he spoke, Zaeden felt overwhelmingly calm. As if he had gotten a little closer to Loki somehow. He didn't really understand the sudden feeling either.

Leaning a hip against the bar counter he rested his hand on the marble. "No need to apologize." HIs voice was still soft, calming. "I understand." He nodded as if to emphasize that he understood that Loki was not trying to insult him. The nod caused some of his hair to fall in his face and he lifted his hand to brush it back out of his eyes and combed it with his fingers as it had been earlier.

"Perhaps.." His words stopped and he blinked a few times. He sighed to himself, what was he thinking? His mouth was moving on its own, and he felt strange desire to be closer to Loki. This was all very weird, and not like him at all. Maybe it was a bad sign, that he should try avoiding Loki. Maybe he would go back to the way he was before if he just turned and walked away. That would be easier than trying to figure out what was going on inside all of his programming. But he couldn't get his feet to move, nor could he make the words he was wanting to say come out. So instead he just stood there, looking almost frozen as he debated with himself for a long moment.

Blinking a few more times his hand twitched a moment as he struggled to find the words he was looking for, "You might show me this hat? Once it is done." what was it about Loki that could make Zaeden act so unlike himself. He never talked this much or this long with others unless he had to. And right now he didn't have to, but he wanted to, and that was what was so weird about all this. He wanted, actually wanted to do something, to talk to someone.
 
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He noted the other shift and glanced to him. He smiled at the others words, thankful that it seemed he hadn't offended him. He watched as the male fixed his hair and reaffirmed his own impression that the male before him was good looking. Loki had never considered his own sexuality, and doubted he ever would, but he wasn't at all bothered admitting, at least to himself, if he found someone nice to look at. It was a shallow part of human nature he had always guessed, but it was a part of his nature regardless.

He paused in his thoughts when the other started speaking again. He rested his eyes on him, head tilted slightly as he awaited the rest of the sentence. But it almost seemed as if the other had frozen. Loki resisted the urge to wave a hand in front of the males face, and instead waited patiently. His expression was curious, his eyes trying to read the others expression.

Finally he saw movement again as the other blinked. When he spoke it was Lokis turn to pause. He blushed slightly and looked away, a bit embarrassed by the request. He rarely showed others the things he made, instead they usually got tossed in a bin to collect dust unless he had a use for them. Finally he nodded, scratching his cheek. "If you want to see it, sure. It's not really interesting though." He said with a light laugh.

He idly realized this was probably the longest discussion he'd had with someone in awhile, at least face to face. And yet he didn't feel the need to run away from it, in fact as awkward as it felt he was still almost enjoying it. "I wonder if other people feel like this when talking to someone?" It was more something he posed to the air than to Zaedan. He laughed quietly to himself, amused that a discussion as aimless as this could feel almost... natural.
 
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Zaeden liked the way Loki's cheeks turned pink, not knowing why. Thinking only that it made him look surprisingly very, very cute. Of course he'd not say anything, even if he wanted to he wouldn't know what to say. "I'll be the judge of that." Of course he had no idea how to judge how interesting a hat would be, but he was very interesting on what sort of hat Loki would make. Loki had said he wasn't normal, and maybe that was true in a sense, but Zaeden liked the way he was more than this 'normal' they were referring to. The fact that he could be so interested in another person let alone human, was proof of that.

At Loki's statement he began to wonder the same thing. Most of the time he talked in just responses to what others said, but with Loki it felt like an actually conversation. It was really... "Its nice." Zaeden's voice and word shocked himself. He never thought in all his life he'd feel like that. Like he was comfortable, actually feel comfortable. Now it was his turn to turn his head away, feeling confused as to why in this short time he was so comfortable. His grey eyes glanced back at Loki, he felt almost...nervous? He wasn't sure what the feeling was, but it was strange and foreign to him. "I don't normally talk."

He felt like he needed to do something so he grabbed a rag and started whipping the counter down but still stayed close to Loki so they could keep talking if he wanted to. Normally if someone did try to talk to him this long, they got bored or irritated with him, but Loki didn't seem either. And something inside Zaeden appreciated the fact that Loki wasn't 'normal'.
 
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He chuckled at the others response. "Alright, alright." He replied, his tone playful. "If I finish it today I'll bring it down tomarow then." He relented, though he honestly didn't mind. He wondered if the other would find it interesting, or maybe it would just bore him. But regardless no one had ever shown any interest really before and so he was almost excited in a way.

When the other responded to his musings Loki tilted his head slightly before smiling brightly. "Yeah, it is." He said with a laugh, he'd never have thought he'd be describing having a conversation that way, but it seemed to fit. He noted the other had looked away and wondered if at times he felt uncomfortable too, if maybe talking like this wasn't just out of character for Loki. He got an answer to that and looked back out at the bar and nodded slightly.

"Normally I just answer people when I'm spoken to, I havnt really had a conversation face to face with someone in a long time. At least not one I enjoyed." He admitted this easily, having no reason to hide this fact. He found it hard to talk to others, having to follow their expression, tone of voice, and the conversation was often exhausting.

He watched the other start to wipe down the counter and sighed slightly, it had drastically slowed down while they'd been chatting and he doubted they'd get another rush before closing up. He began tidying up his area, if things were done early they'd be able to leave once it was time to close. He was quiet a short while as he rummaged through his brain for another conversation topic, realising that both of them were rather poor at small talk. "Do you like working here so far?" He finally managed, realizing it was probably an idiotic thing to ask after these past two nights but he couldn't think of anything better.
 
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Watching Loki move about was so interesting to Zaeden. He had never really thought about it before, but seeing how the younger man worked was intriguing to him. Androids were modeled after humans, without any physical faults, but standing there talking with Loki and feeling as comfortable as he felt he couldn't help but think their faults is what made them better. Seeing as Loki seemed to be different, and had stated he wasn't normal, but here he was the first human to ever really make him feel anything - even if he didn't know what that feeling was yet.

Zaeden blinked at Loki's question. Like it? well no, and yes. But he didn't want to say that to a coworker, even if he was feeling comfortable around Loki now. But it was becoming more enjoyable now that he was getting to stand here and just talk with Loki, all the other things about it seemed pretty annoying. He wasn't sure how to put that into words however. "A little." Was all he could manage. He looked at Loki as he said it and let his question fallow without hesitation. "Do you?"

It seemed to him that Loki was having a hard time with this place, and with his obvious aversion to touching others it seemed odd to Zaeden that he would try to work a service job. But even he knew saying all that would be kind of..rude? And though more often than not he didn't have a filter he could understand a few simple things. He didn't want to be mean to Loki in any way but he wanted to learn how someone so inverted ended up working a place like this.
 
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He chuckled a bit at the others answer. Did that mean he disliked it a bit too? Then again Loki couldn't blame him, in just two nights they'd each had their own customer issues. When he was question his hands paused in their movements, his expression going blank a moment as he considered it. Finally he gave a small nod as he continued working. "This is probably the only place that would hire me." He said softly, his expression was unreadable, blue eyes empty.

"Our boss really helped me out, in a lot of ways. So I can't say I dislike working here." He glanced at the other before giving him a half smile, the strange moment passing. "But you've already seen that I'm not good with people. I'd rather stay locked up for the rest of my life, but that not really an option." He laughed, realizing he'd probably said more than was expected. "It's not so bad though." He finished, turning and putting a few empty glasses in the dishwasher.

He grew silent then, his eyes having a somber glint to them though his lips were in a soft smile. He remembered how he'd been living in a hotel for a few nights off the money he'd been given with little other choice. He remembered being able to hear people through the thin walls, and not sleeping for days at a time out of fear. It had been then that he'd met his current boss by chance, walking down the hotel corridor.

Hed been so thin then he knew, and without sleep he was almost dillusional. Why such a kind person took him in he really didn't understand, and back then he had imagined another hell waiting for him. But instead he'd been given a home and a job. He chuckled mirthlessly at the memory, it was painful in a way, but he had no choice but to be thankful for it.
 
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Zaeden may not have understood why his face suddenly changed, but he knew he didn't like it. He kept craving that smile he saw the first night. Perhaps if muffins and tea made him smile that much he'd buy them every chance he got. But that didn't seem quite right. People needed other food besides tea and muffins. It was obvious that Loki was very skinny, and though Zaeden briefly wondered why he didn't want to question him like that.

He understood the challenges of finding a job, and once found wanting to keep it, since he was in a similar situation himself. "I thought it would be worse." Zaeden admitted, and though that was true he didn't admit to the fact that because he was having so much 'fun' talking with Loki is what was making everything bearable. He didn't know how to say something like that, and he wasn't sure exactly how he meant it. Talking was pretty normal among other people, so truly this shouldn't be all that weird. And yet it was, in a nice way.


Zaeden took a look around the bar and noticed it was almost completely empty. Would that mean they'd close early? With the past two nights he never would have thought that a place like this could get this dead. "Do we go home?" He turned and looked to Loki honestly wondering what their job was now, if there were no costumers.
 
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He smiled at the other, finding the males admission to be a bit funny. "When I first started here I used to work only a few minutes at open and close, I remember thinking it was the worst job I could have gotten." While he wasn't completely comfortable here he could at least handle a full shift even when the bar was full, at the begini ng just being in a room of more than a handful of people had made him panic.

When the other spoke he looked around and realized that there was hardley anyone here. He noted that the servers were cleaning up and ushering a few of the heavily intoxicated out. He thought about it a moment before looking back to Zaedan. "We are free to go at this rate, some nights clear out like this."

He walked over to the device behind the counter and sent a quick message to their boss again, letting him know that it was slow and updating him on how the rest of the night had gone. Once done he gave a quick wave to Angie to which she waved back before going to her own tasks.

He walked back to Zaedan, giving him a quick grin. "You can head home if you like. I'll be going up." Part of him didn't want to halt their conversation, but he also couldn't stop his urge to return home when the opportunity presented itself. After all it wasn't often that he could go home early. "Want to walk with me to the elevator?" He asked, prolonging it just a short bit longer if he could. Even if he was a loner by nurture, the nature of being human forced him to seek out company.
 
Zaeden nodded and tidied up one last time before fallowing Loki to the employee exit. He nodded a goodbye to Angie as she was finishing up the last of her shift chores and began locking the doors behind her. Leaving the bar and entering the hallway his attention was directed once more to Loki. It was strange to him to think that Loki seemed to have similar issues as he did, and yet they were so different. Zaeden was all machine, a android with malfunctions, and Loki was a human; yet he had never gotten along with a human so well in his life. And never would he have thought that he'd feel this comfortable this fast.

"How long have you lived here?" Zaeden's curiosity got the best of him. Loki had talked as though it took him a while to get used to the job, which only made him wonder how long ago it was. He didn't think about if his question was too personal, or maybe if it would make him uncomfortable. Although that was not his intention if it did, he was simple curious.

Zaeden himself didn't know how long he would be here, the longest he had ever stayed in one area was a few months, and when he first had made his way here he had guessed maybe a few weeks at most. But now something inside him was thinking that he may stay longer, if only to get to know Loki more.
 
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He waited for the other to follow before heading out into the hall, blinking a few times to adjust to the better lighting. This was the first time he'd actually wanted to walk with someone else since he was young, before everything. He smiled dimly to himself at the memory, wishing that he could have stayed an innocent kid- or as innocent as he had been.

He shook his head lightly at the memories when the other spoke, glancing at him before looking up thoughtfully. How long had he been here? He hummed lightly as he tried to think. "Since I was 17... maybe 18...?" He was trying to remember when he'd been set free, or rather kicked out. "How old am I now..." He tilted his head to the side and counted for a moment. "So maybe 4 or 5 years now that I've been here?" He wasn't completely sure but that seemed about right.

He flashed a smile to the other. "I didn't really notice how long it's been, even though most days drag by time really flies." He laughed. It was hard for him to keep track of time, all those years that he'd been kept he hadn't been allowed to track the passing days, he often spent what felt like weeks in confinement but couldn't have been more than a few days. By the time it all ended he'd had to check what year it was. How long then had he spent there....

"What about you? Have you lived in this city long?" He asked, he didn't want to think about what proportion of his life had been taken from him. Not now. Had he needed to concern himself with it then he should have that day, not a handful of years later. "Do you live close to here?" He wanted to keep talking until these thoughts were pushed far enough away.
 
Zaeden walked next to Loki but kept the perfect two feet distance, even if they were seemingly getting along better now he figured it was still safer to keep this a custom until Loki himself was ready to break the barrier. He watched Loki's face which was more open now then it had been during the busy hours of the bar, as he thought and talked. It felt like maybe he was getting to see the real side of Loki, which for some odd reason pleased him greatly. He did find it odd however that Loki had to think of how old he was, even if he had only mumbled that to himself. Zaeden was under the impression that humans held very tight to their birthdays, but perhaps it was another one of his quirks.

"Four days." Zaeden answered simply and honestly. Not very long at all, and normally that is how he liked it. "I'm at the hotel. Just around the corner." The hotel itself was pretty famous and the building was taller than the one they were in now, but that wasn't something he readily paid attention to. It didn't matter to him if it was a super fancy hotel, he only got one of their simpler rooms for privacy. "I move a lot." Zaeden stated again, feeling odd that he wanted to tell Loki more but didn't know how to without sounding weird. He normally never divulged any person information on himself, even something as simple as that. But Loki seemed to have a weird hold over Zaeden even without knowing it.
 
Loki was surprised at how natural this seemed, or rather how much more natural it felt compared to his normal encounters with others. He had finally decided that it was due to Zaedans seemingly subdued personality. He found it hard to be around others who felt impressive to him, but the other didn't feel that way in the least. Maybe this was the type of person that he could befriend, or at least chat with on occasion if the other wanted to. Loki didn't want to annoy him.

He blinked at the answer, listening quietly until the other finished. He thought about that as they approached the elevator, stopping and looking at the other. He tilted his head slightly in thought before looking away, him minds gears working swiftly. "Is it fun? Moving around, going outside..." He had a somewhat faraway look his in eyes, but he kept them focused on a distant spot on the wall rather than in the others direction.

After a moment he laughed lightly though, dispelling the thought. "I've heard it's a nice hotel, I think that's one I can see from my room." He smiled to the other. "Do you think you'll live here long?" This question held more weight to it then he had intended, it would be a bit upsetting if this was just a short term stop for Zaedan. But he wouldn't say anything about that, he had no business doing so really. He already felt like he was toeing a line, how would he know when he crossed it? When chatting became prying?
 
Zaeden didn't answer his first question. In order to discern whether or not it was fun, he'd have to have a better grasp on the meaning of the word. Did he like moving from place to place? Well, no, frankly he did not. Each time he had to go through the same social functions of meeting people and working through all of the 'beginnings' and that was extremely tedious. Sure he could see the benefit of moving once things got to hard living the way he did, but he'd rather stay in one area where he could live separate from others if needed. That way he wouldn't have to deal with all of the new faces and trying to fit in as best he could.

Zaeden decided he didn't like this forced laugh of Loki's, that he needed to find a way to make him smile and laugh for real, but he would never say that out loud for risk of ruining everything. He himself was a little saddened that they were in front of the elevator now, he wasn't ready for this conversation to end, so he stood a little ways from the doors. As he leaned against the opposite wall he looked at Loki, their eyes meeting as he spoke. "Perhaps." His eyes sparked as he stared at Loki. Normally he wouldn't stay over his welcome, but if things with Loki continued at the pace they were and he actually bonded with someone for once, he wouldn't separate that bond until he could figure out exactly what it was.

In just a few nights, little changes were already occurring in Zaeden and he didn't understand them one bit, but that didn't mean he hated it. In fact it was the opposite, he found himself almost enjoying the sort of confusion that was swimming around in his brain. "If things continue." Zaeden left it at that, even saying just that was being a little too open for his liking, but he felt that if it was Loki then he might not mind so much.
 
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He felt a slight wave of anxiety creep in at the others answer. So then maybe he wouldn't be here long? That was a bit upsetting to Loki just then, but he wouldn't admit that. Though at the others words he paused in his thoughts. "Things?" He asked, unsure of what the other was referring to. Work? Something else? It had been a strange thing to say he felt, ambiguous, especially for someone who'd been rather straight to the point the past two days.

He noted that the other also didn't seem quick to leave, he his own mind was fiddling with the decision to go home and relax, or continue talking. He was enjoying himself, but the pull of curling up on his chair was strong as well. But if the other did end up moving sooner rather than later...then what? After all he always could go home, he couldn't always talk to someone.

It was annoying to think about stuff like this. Wouldn't normal people just solve the issue by inviting him up? Loki touched his arm reflexively, thinking. Even if he did want to talk to the other more he wasn't able to invite someone into his home, he was far too nervous and anxious for that. So standing down here would have to do right? "Do you live alone in your hotel room?" The words had left him before he'd really noticed. Was that too personal? But he was curious, what was it like to share a space with someone else? Was it frightening?
 
Zaeden nodded to Loki's last question. Of course he lived alone, he had never before lived with someone and he normally never planned on it. Humans were so emotional and needed a partner to be emotional with them, android were somewhat like that too. Both had before asked too much of him and when he couldn't receive the humans poked and prodded and the androids ignored him. He hated both responses so he avoided getting close to either for those reasons. Which only served to remind him that Loki was still a human and even if they got along for quite a while, he would eventually hate Zaeden for his malfunctions.

"Always been alone." Zaeden stated, though it wasn't a sad statement, just a fact. He'd never desired to be with anyone so being alone was what he liked. However, he found himself wanting to be with Loki now, just in his presence.


((sorry for the short post))
 
He waited quietly for the others answer, wondering if he would answer or brush it off. When he did Loki nodded, maybe he should have assumed that Zaedan wouldn't have a roommate of any sort, it seemed like he preferred his space in general.

He stood there thinking about that a short while, scrounging for more questions, anything. He leaned heavily against the wall, slowly begini ng to feel tired even though he had some hours before the sun would be high enough for him to sleep comfortably. "Do you ever get lonely?" He then chuckled lightly. "I mean if you move around a lot it's hard to make friends right?" Even though he was stressed by interactions with others he couldn't ignore his own inclination towards loneliness every so often though he usually ignored it.

(No worries:) )
 
Zaeden watched as Loki looked to be tired, his frame seemed to be weighed down, while he leaned against the wall. Lonely? Zaeden blinked a few times as he thought about it. He wasn't sure if that's what he would call the feeling, because being lonely meant he desired other people's company. He looked back down at Loki, would he be lonely if he left the city and never got to see him again? He wasn't sure about that answer either, but something told him just maybe.

Zaeden looked towards Loki again. "Sometimes." Zaeden was being cryptic again, but he didn't know how to be honest about something he was still debating inside himself. He stood straighter now and looked at Loki more closely. "You look tired." He stated monotone again.
 
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He watched the other blink and smiled slightly, did that signal some confusion? Was it a strange question to be asked? When the other answered he nodded, he could accept that as an answer.

He watched the other straighten and tilted his head slightly in silent question. When the other spoke he blinked before laughing slightly. "Ah... maybe." He said softly, even if he was tired though he wouldn't be sleeping yet, and could he admit that he wanted to talk more? He shook his head slightly and pushed himself from the wall. He didn't want to keep the other here just to chat with him, he felt that was a bit inconveint for Zaedan. "Sorry, I'm probably going to head up." He gave the other a slight smile before pressing the button to wait for the elevator to come. He didn't want to be needy or clingy, and it wasn't like he couldn't talk to the other tomarow... He could deal with being alone until then.