Absolute Mayhem

[Meraki]

At his mention of it, Valerie jokingly knocked on the cabinet off to the side as she settled in with the dinner. It was simple enough, something that just needed an eye and very little actual labor. Thank god, because being on her feet got exhausting some days and not for anything she really understood, but she was tired nonetheless. The last few days especially — with everything happening with the baby and her father, Valerie found herself not really managing a nap or a good night's sleep. Instead she was waking up and moving because she was both antsy and exhausted at the same time. Even the grocery store had taken a lot out of her, but not in a bad way. On the contrary, Valerie was ecstatic.

She had the perfect husband and a baby on the way — how could she ever feel anything but happiness?

They did have the house viewing tomorrow and the BBQ on Sunday, so while Valerie loved being pregnant, the idea of having to be out and about three days in a row certainly grated on her exhaustion until she felt a little yawn bubble up.

Wiping her hands off on the hand towel hanging off the front of the oven, Valerie walked back over to the counter where Tavarius was stretched out and wiggling his fingers expectantly at her. She stepped right between his arms, letting his hands settle on her hips so she could lean over the counter and capture his lips in a warm, affectionate kiss. It was hard — still hard — to deal with what she had done, but every single moment since she realized that it was the right decision. Maybe good people didn't kill people, but Valerie did what she had to do to protect the greatest love and light in her life. Every moment with Tavarius was worth the grappling with the horrid memories.

The way her hands shook, the tears, the overwhelming sense of mortality — they were all shooed away by love and admiration. She did what she had to do to protect him and the baby, and she could not and would not regret that. Not for anything in the world.

"Exactly what you're doing right now," she quipped playfully, falling in love over and over again with the feeling of his hands on her hips as she leaned over the counter, "but dinner wise? Not really, unless you want to serve it in, say, twenty minutes? Because I have been staring at that couch and I know the minute I sit down, I'm not getting back up."

 

[Nav]

"Yea, I can serve dinner in twenty minutes. You should get me a timer though, else I'll probably forget," he said with a shrug. Tavarius was a distracted cook, for whatever reason and would quickly forget food in the oven, even with the gnawing hunger eating away at his innards incessantly. Like her, once he sat down on the couch, food was sure to be forgetten if he didn't have a timer but he knew they both needed the meal. Scrunching his fingers lovingly across her hips, he gave a small nod.

"Go," he remarked, swatting at her playfully as he shooed her off towards the couch, "I'll be right there." Setting an alarm on his phone, Tavarius filled himself a glass of water before going to get plates and cutlery out so he wouldn't have to worry about them when the time came. All he wanted was good and more sleep, seeing as his nap had been rudely cut short by his own brain. Things were easier with Valerie there, perhaps because he could subconsciously remind himself that everything was fine... That she was there. Or, maybe, he just slept better with the warmth of her body nestled into his chest. Who knew, but he could only hope his night went better than his nap.

Draining his water glass, Tavarius set it aside and moved to the couch where he stretched out and lazily lolled his head back. "So, what time do I need to get up tomorrow for the house showing?" What a funny thought. Tavarius was sure to be up well before the sunrise to go out tow run. He had fallen behind on his training with everything and not one to sit out long, he was looking forward to getting out again and loosening his muscles again. After all, the marathon was only a short countdown away and he felt he had been spending more days resting than running. At the rate he was going, he'd never finish, but he supposed it didn't matter.

All his life, Tavarius had spent all his time trying to conquer everything and everyone. To be the best, the strongest, the fastest... And he had always excelled, but what did it matter anymore? So long as he tried, he knew Valerie would be proud, even if he couldn't finish the race. At the end of the day, the only thing that was important was coming home to his wife, but that didn't mean he didn't want to try. The alarm on his phone disrupted his thoughts and he quickly shut it off before rising.

"Big hungry, small hungry, or medium hungry?" He asked her as he pulled everything out off the oven and began to fill their plates. "Too late," he chuckled only a moment later, "I'm giving you a big hungry plate and we can box up what you don't finish."

With two plates piled with dinner, Tavarius returned to his spot on the couch, handing one out towards Valerie. "Careful-- hot."

 

[Meraki]

"You sure?" Valerie raised an eyebrow but when he swatted at her to get her to make her way to the couch, she folded, "Okay, okay! I'm going, I'm going." Valerie laughed as she made her way over to the couch and felt her body literally melt into the cushions. Aches were the one thing about pregnancy that she could do without (besides the nausea) and it was a funny thought considering how much of her life was spend covered in bruises and nursing injuries. Part of her thought for a moment thatch was spoiled being was Tavarius, but then the stronger part of her quickly correct that she was not spoiled. This was how love was supposed to be, what a family was supposed to look and feel like. Tavarius was the kind of husband a man should be and Valerie, while not the ideal syndicate wife any longer, was exactly what she wanted to be.

Valerie let out a sigh as her muscles cried out in relief and her head lulled back against the cushion. She was going to be so screwed when the real aches of pregnancy set it because she was such a baby with pain sometimes. But luckily this was more of an exhaustion that settled into her bones and coded her into some much needed relaxation. "Hm?" Valerie glanced up at Tavarius as he made his way over, "The showing isn't until ten, so I'm sure you'll be up long before then." That was one thing about Tavarius that Valerie could never understand — how on earth he got up as early as he did. Even when they were in the syndicate, he would get up at four in the morning just to go meet with Hullett a few towns over. He had a much stronger willpower than she did, that was certain.

Valerie was just a big ball of cuddles and sleep whenever anyone tried to wake her up. Whether it be at dawn or any other time. She could have slept forever, if someone let her.

Before she could even process his request, he was back up and heading back her way with a big plate of food. She was going to say small hungry, but the baby was big hungry, and it seemed like — once again — Tavarius knew her better than she did. "Little barnacle is starving, so I guess that means so am I," she laughed, taking the plate carefully from him, "Thank you, you are a lifesaver."

"I felt fine at the grocery store, but everything just started to ache when I got home," Valerie scooted up so she was sitting up and the plate was resting on her lap, "I just don't ever remember feeling this tired before. Not even sleepy, just tired."

 

[Nav]

Tavarius shrugged. He had been resting more than ever before now that the syndicate and Vince were out of the picture, but his body rarely demanded sleep like Valerie's seemed to. Sleep had been a fleeting mistress throughout most of his life. Even when he did rest, he spent much of his time weary and ready to leap up at a moment's notice. He had been such a light sleeper that even the light squeaking of the floorboards had awoken him on that faithful night he had been kidnapped right from his own home. It was something he'd never lose: that light sleep, the early rising, the restlessness at sounds even if they were just everyday house sounds: creaking and groaning of wood as it expanded and contracted with the temperature.

Settling down on the sofa next to her, Tavarius propped his plate up on the arm rest and began to dive headlong in to his chicken and rice. He had even added a small pile of Valerie's broccoli on the side of the plate and seemed to be making quick work of every bite. He had nearly forgotten just how hungry he had become, it would seem, and the chicken was too juicy and succulent to slow down for. "Well," he began between bites, "we've been through a lot recently and on top of it, you're pregnant. I'm really not surprised you're tired. I'm sure it'll get better once we begin to find a routine again."

Find a routine. It felt like every time they managed to find one—a rhythm of their household—it was shattered by something new. This time, it didn't seem it would unless something dramatic happened. That was always a possibility of course, but it felt permanent this time, like once they found their new home things would just—be. He was certain that some of her exhaustion was attributed to pregnancy, but he was also convinced a lion's share had to do with what they were enduring, too. Well, what they had endured, he thought quickly to himself.

All but licking his plate clean, Tavarius set the plate on the end table and lolled his weight back lazily into the couch cushions, his eyes searching for whatever felt remiss about the picture. It felt strange without the dogs present, good thing they were set to return the next day sometime in the afternoon. "Mm, that was good. If I wasn't feeling so lazy, I'd get up for seconds." He glanced back towards the kitchen, trying to decide if it was worth it to get up for more. Ultimately, he decided it was because he lurched to his feet and went to fill his plate again—a little lighter this time.

"You want more?"

 

[Meraki]

Valerie ate like she had never eaten before. Being pregnant certainly did a lot for her appetite, but it felt like she hadn't eaten in days despite her making breakfast earlier that morning. True, she hadn't eaten much for lunch, but she devoured what was on her plate. Each and every facet of the meal satisfying her cravings, especially the broccoli. What a strange thing to crave, she thought, but paid it no mind. She supposed it could be worse — she could have been one of those women who craved dirt or other strange things. She finished off her meal and set the plate down, her body sinking back into the couch as her eyes closed for just a moment.

The house was too quiet.

She loved Tavarius with every single cell in her body, but they were so used to having their dogs that it was strange to hear nothing but the two of them and the crackle of the fire in the living room. Valerie had enough silence for a lifetime living in her father's house, and it often times made her just the slightest bit uneasy. She used to ask her mother how she could live with it and her mother would simply curl her lips into a smile and shrug her slender shoulders, "You get used to it. One day you will too, Valerie." But she never did, not when she was young, not after she met Tavarius and certainly not now.

She would be so happy when the dogs were home. She missed them terribly after everything that happened and she wanted their family back together. Saint in Tavarius' lap, Max in hers and Wolf lying protectively at their feet. She missed the yapping in the backyard, running around in the snow with them, and she wanted everything to fall into place. Soon enough, it would, but she was so sick of sadness and the weight of the life that they had survived that she could not wait. Tomorrow could not come soon enough.

"Me either," she breathed out, lulling her head to the side so she could look at him, a soft laugh punctuating her words, "But I'll be happy when we figure out this house thing and have the dogs back. I just want our family back together again."

Family was not just for people, after all. The dogs were children to them, in every single way.

"No, I'm alright," Valerie used all of her energy to push herself standing and pick up her plate so she could bring it to the sink, "That 'big hungry' plate seemed to fill me right up." She made her way to the sink and cleaned her plate before placing it on the drying rack and coming up behind Tavarius as he served himself more food. Her arms snaked around his waist and her lips found that special place between his shoulder blades that they always found, leaving a warm kiss before she nuzzled her head into his warmth.

"I love you," she said softly, knowing that he knew but sometimes it just came out. She did more than love him, but "I love you" seemed to be the only english phrase that came close to what she felt — and it was still lightyears away from what she actually felt.

 

[Nav]

"It will definitely be nice to be settled in to a home that is ours," he agreed with a hum at the tail end of his voice. They had been in so many houses but that's all they'd ever been: houses. Not homes to put pictures on the walls or raise their children in, furry or otherwise. The thought spurred a smile in him as he scooped another small pile of rice on to his plate, hearing Valerie patter into the kitchen after him. Just as he was about to turn and head to the table to finish his meal, she captured his waist between her arms. The ritualistic kiss fell against the spot between his shoulder blades and elicited a sigh from him. A deep sigh, like sudden pressure had just been peeled off his chest.

Immediately, he set his plate down on the counter and abandoned it so he could spin in her arms. Once facing her, his hands snaked up and pushed through that thick mane of dark black curls, the inward smile he had been wearing suddenly lighting up through his eyes in a small, dancing flicker. "And I love you," he answered firmly without a beat of hesitation. Love felt too fleeting. People used the word love all the time-- they loved a movie, they loved a dessert... It didn't seem fair to share a word that people used on inanimate objects with the intensity of his emotions for the beautiful woman in front of him. But what was he to do? The words just didn't exist.

Thankfully, the gestures did.

"Come on you," with the second helpings long forgotten, Tavarius scooped Valerie up into his arms bridal style and gave a grin as he marched up the stairs. The dishes could be cleaned later and he wasn't starving enough to put off his desires to be with his wife to eat anymore. Pushing open the bedroom door with his shoulder, Tavarius brought her into the bedroom so they could rest on the bed as husband and wife.

Dropping her on the mattress, Tavarius peeled off his sweater and quickly followed onto the duvet next to her. The day was still young with plenty of life, but he was tired. He wasn't entirely sure he'd ever be alert again. For days, he had felt nothing but exhaustion all the time no matter how much he slept. It felt impossible to catch up after a lifetime of self abuse. "Once the dogs come tomorrow, I can kiss sleeping goodbye," he said with a laugh as he lolled his head back lazily into the grip of the pillows. "I love them, but they know daddy is the one who feeds them in the morning."

They had a busy day the next few days, but he could only hope things would finally begin to fall into place. The house, the dogs, the kid... Everything would come together and only then could he truly rest.

"I really hope we just fall in love with the house tomorrow. I don't have the energy to house shop."

 

[Meraki]

"Ah!" Valerie squeaked out as Tavarius swept her up into his arms. She would never get used to it, not ever, and that was fine. Valerie loved the way her heart filled to the brim when he would carry her from anywhere in the house and right up to bed. He always tossed her onto the bed, causing her to bounce a little bit against the mattress, and she wondered if it would all have to stop when she got too big. God, as much as Tavarius promised she wouldn't get big, it was hard not to be anxious about it. She had lived an entire life where the only thing she ever did right was her appearance. Valerie had always been slender, an expert at her hair and makeup, and she could find an outfit out of anything, but the idea of being something other than that scared her a little bit. It would all be fine, but it was just a mental block for her.

It seemed that her and Tavarius had their own share of mental blocks to get over and accept in the coming months.

Valerie curled into the pillows and turned to face him, her fingers making pretty quick work of the jeans she was wearing and tossing them off to the side. She did not bother with the duvet, as Tavarius provided plenty of warmth when they were lying just like this. "It will be nice to have them back though," Valerie smiled, "It's so quiet here without them."

Without the dogs yapping, it was almost eerily quiet in the Petrove household.

"I hope we do too," she admitted, slipping into his chest and curling up there like it was the most natural thing in the world. "I definitely don't have the energy to house shop, but it looks like it's going to be beautiful. I can only hope it is. But bright side? We don't have much furniture that is ours, so once we pick some stuff out we can get the movers to do most of the heavy lifting. Unless you don't really care about furniture, in which case I basically have a college-degree equivalent in all things housewife and plenty of time on my hands."

"Spring term doesn't start until the first week of February here," Valerie said finally, admitting to him the one other thing she managed to do today, "So I've got some time before classes start. Hope you didn't miss me using your back as a book rest too much, but it's coming back in full force and I'll need your flashcard flipping skills if I'm going to pass history."

 

[Nav]

"I guess we'll see tomorrow," he remarked on the house. One thing he knew about sales ads was that they come is be deceiving, so who knew what the house would actually look like. Nice, he hoped, but he wasn't holding too tightly into that dream either. Better to go in without expectations than to be disappointed.

Glancing around the bedroom, he realised he hadn't even thought about that. All his furniture was back at the villa, while Valerie never had much to begin with. "I don't care really," he admitted. "Nat decorated the villa, anyways. Might as well keep the tradition and let you decorate our home. God knows you'd probably hate it if I did it." Tavarius didn't really have an eye for Feng Shui.

"God, movers would be great. I'm getting too old to do this stuff myself now," he chuckled as he closed an arm lovingly around her shoulders as she curled into him. "Build stuff though? I could do that. I could build doghouses, tree forts, play sets... Mm," he thought aloud. What kid wouldn't love a treehouse? And that was something he could make in a summer weekend. He had been so wrapped up in The possibilities, he nearly missed what she had said.

"Hm? You're going back to school?" He looked down to her, "that's great, honey. I'm happy for you and of course I'll always be your flash card flipper. I'm sure Nadia will be able to help with the spawn when I'm working and you're at school, too." Kissing the top of her head, Tavarius rolled his head back and closed his eyes. "I know you'll pass history, too, because I know you'll want to help Barnacle with their schoolwork an I'm not smart enough to."

Not that Tavarius was dumb, but his intelligence wasn't anything helpful for normal people doing normal things. He could rattle on facts about every gun manufacturer or take a gun apart and reassemble it with a blindfold, but he didn't know the first thing about calculus it the Revolutionary war. "Well, we have a few months to get settled then."

He worried about her, naturally. She was bound to be so different from the rest of her classmates: her history, being married, being a mother... He worried, but that was something she had to grapple with herself, though he'd be with her for every step of their collective journey.

"Speaking of the future, I need to talk to Flynn about my job."

 

[Meraki]

"Leave it to me then," Valerie smiled and leaned her head against his chest and clung to him. She could decorate, no problem, and they would get movers to help get everything in. But the little things like putting together the nursery and building the crib would be something she saved for just them. Maybe Valerie could not paint, but she could do just about everything else. Hell, she had barely started to show. Soon enough, though, she would be too big to do much of anything. She would cross that road when they came to it.

"Everything's gonna fall into place. School, family, work — we'll get the hang of it someday. I mean, normal people do it all the time and we're way better than normal people. Between the two of us, you're a prodigy with guns and I can get blood out of upholstery. We can do this."

"We can't do this," Valerie said the next day as they sat in the car pulling down the street towards the house they were checking out. Valerie had been a bundle of nerves all morning and while she managed to eat, it made her queasy, but she knew she needed to keep her stress levels down. Her hand held Tavarius' as they drove and her head lulled back against the rest. "What if it doesn't turn out to be the one we want? This feels a lot like the start of a horror movie where the unsuspecting couple finds their dream house only to find out six months not living there that it's on ancient indian burial ground or something."

It was not a terribly long drive from their old place — about a five to ten minute drive out towards a beautiful lake and as they came around the bend, the home came into view. It was breathtaking and exactly what Valerie had hoped it would be. It was a beautiful blue house stretched out on the lake with a beautiful sized front yard, driveway and despite the snow, looked like a winter wonderland. Standing outside the front door was a woman clutching a clipboard and waving kindly as the two pulled into the driveway and parked the car.

"If this doesn't work out…" she tapered off before shaking her head, "God, Tavarius. Look at the size of it. Could you imagine the dogs in this yard and it's not even the back."

"You ready for this?"

 

[Nav]

"If it doesn't work out," Tavarius replied as he down shifted the car and brought it into the driveway, glancing up as he took in the sight of the house. It was huge—big enough to challenge even in the villa in size. "Then we'll keep looking until we find something we actually do want."

Tavarius had never been very confident about big houses. He was never quite sure what to make of them, even though he had lived in them all his life—multiple bedrooms, multiple baths. The monster that was piercing through the late morning sky certainly seemed no exception. It had taken him a long time to get settled into the villa because it felt like he was always so far away from everything, but he knew no matter where they moved, he'd eventually settled in. Between them, the dogs, and the coming baby, they would need a bigger house—and the one in front of them certainly seemed more than big enough. Killing the engine, he flicked his eyes up to it one last time, as if he didn't even notice the real estate agent for a second.

"If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. No horror movie intro," he assured her, glancing her way with a lame smile, "What horror movie do you know that starts like this with the house being blue? Hm? It's not a very horror-based colour," he reached over the console and gave her thigh a squeeze right above her knee. "Come on. We have Caspers to meet," he chuckled as he popped open the door and slid from the seat.

By the time they were walking towards the agent, she was already talking up a store—and that was just fine by Tavarius, He never knew what to say to people he didn't know well, so he was perfectly happy with the woman doing all the talking. Even before they stepped foot in the house and she just wrangled with the lock-pad, she was already discussing the dramatic sweeping staircases, the gorgeous views, the beautiful this, the beautiful that. Feeling painfully out of his element, Tavarius just slid his hand down Valerie's arm until he reached her fingers and their hands tangled.

"Alright, here we go!" The lock-pad clicked as it slid free and the agent opened the door, stepping through to let them both in. "The living room was all redesigned and the master bathroom and kitchen were recently remodeled…."

 

[Meraki]

It was certainly beautiful.

Tavarius' hand found hers as they made their way into the house. Immediately, it looked like the pictures Valerie had scoured on the internet. The first floor was a sweeping expanse of beautiful windows and an open plan, the living room giving way to the kitchen and through an archway was a formal dining room. There was a door leading down to the refinished basement which would work as a beautiful space to paint or put a piano, or whatever it was they wanted to have. The upstairs was led up to by a grand staircase in the front and there was a landing overlooking the living room, a perfect place to put toys for their child, a little play area, and the bedrooms were each more impressive than the last. Each one with bright windows. It was the Master bedroom that made Valerie's eyes grow wide.

It was reminiscent of the villa with the impressive windows, but what sold her was the fireplace and patio doors that led out onto their own personal little balcony. It was not really little by any means, but in the summer with some lounge chairs, it would be the perfect little escape. It was the first time Valerie got a glimpse of the backyard and that was almost enough to sell her immediately. It was a large, rolling property that met the edge of a serene frozen lake. There was even a dock for them, if they were to ever want something like a boat, or to just go swimming. There was so much room for the dogs to run around and a perfect tree for a treehouse if Tavarius really decided that was something he wanted to build.

The back porch stretched impressively out a glass door in the kitchen and there was plenty of room for a grill and a nice patio set to entertain. They did not have a ton of friends now, but after they started work and school, it would be nice to entertain for once. Not like syndicate parties where someone was always bound to wind up dead, but instead like normal people. There were a bunch of little added extras that Valerie loved — like the home alarm system and good closet space (including a walk-in in the master bedroom). There was plenty of room for a nursery, Nadia, two extra rooms, and a study. It felt massive now but as their family pulled together in the next few months, she knew it would fill up quickly.

And the dogs would love it. Max would run up and down those stairs for hours.

There was not much wrong with the house, honestly, and when Valerie asked about it there were a few things, like with any house, that they had to consider. They were right on a lake, which would flood up an inch or two in the spring, but their yard was so massive that it came nowhere near the house. The fireplaces in the living room and master bedroom needed to be maintained, but that was the same as with any house, but it was the kitchen that sold Valerie.

It was a brilliant looking thing — counters wrapped around with dual ovens stacked on one another and a third range for stovetop cooking. The appliances were all new, shining pieces that caught her eye. There was plenty of cabinet space, an island in the middle for preparation and bar stools to eat. It was the kind of kitchen that Valerie dreamed about and she was certainly enthralled by it.

"I'll let you two talk it over," the woman said finally, her chattering coming to an end, "I'll be out front if and when you need me. Feel free to explore a bit more if you'd like."

When she was finally gone, Valerie looked up at Tavarius, who had remained quiet throughout the entire process. It was not his element, but with the woman gone, Valerie wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his chest so she could hold him and look at the interior of the house as well. "Well, caro mio, what do you think?"

 

[Nav]

The house was a descript affair.

It was sitting on the crest of a small hill, positioned, staring over the frozen lake. Its charming grey shingle roof practically vanished into the snowy wonderland around it, where French windows peeked through the stone like bright eyes through a long fringe. It looked as though it had been cut out of the Architects Today magazine. It was beautifu, but not in an olde-worlde quaint kind of way. Everything was slightly geometric, which he supposed he could have said about almost any pitched roof with square windows, but he couldn't help but notice it in particular in that house. Not to say that it was unpleasant, but the décor that had hastily been positioned did nothing for it. It was all for selling purpose, of course, and he knew no one could actually live in the house the way it was set-up.

It was almost off-putting how perfectly the chairs lined up at the dining room table with the unlit candle sitting perfectly (measure, he was sure) in the center between the four placemats with expensive, porcelain dishes and unused wine glasses. It took him a moment to look past the horrid, fake décor and see the house behind it. It took some squinting to imagine the house warm, lived-in, and loved. The walls were all pale beige—the paint probably just drying minutes before the first showing—but he was beginning to see it.

The stepped in to the kitchen for a while and Tavarius ran his fingers over the wall tiles, each one of them a smooth horizontal glass bar about two pencils thick. Perhaps pulled away from the wall they could be translucent, perhaps they would cast the irrepressible sunlight into the seaside tones they were. The deepest of them was like driftwood, another was the same hue as the sand at Camber, the blue was like the ocean on a cool Autumn day rather than the brilliant blue of the tourist season…. It was the warm, ocean-like colours in the kitchen that finally seemed to get Tavarius to relax and enjoy the new surroundings. His shoulders eased a little and he looked around the house with a sense of calm serenity instead of tense alarm.

At first, he didn't think he was going to like it, but he was immediately beginning to warm up to it.

No, it would never be the same as the villa in terms of view—plopped right up against the beach and the ocean—but nothing in Minnesota ever would. For what it was worth though, the house has a nice view. He liked the lake… he always liked being by the water and he knew the dogs liked to swim.

In traditional Tavarius fashion, he didn't speak a word until their agent dismissed herself quietly and Valerie had turned into him. Her cheek nuzzled into his chest and his arms fell quickly around her shoulders. "I didn't like it at first," he admitted, "Because all I could see was the cheap, geometric décor, but I think I like it… with a little bit of paint and our furniture and stuff, I think I like it."

 

[Meraki]

"It's a beautiful house," Valerie agreed, "but you're right. It's not home yet. That's our job, but I have so many ideas for decorating this place and that private balcony and fireplace in the master bedroom? Yes, please. I like how it was kind of an escape from the rest of the house and that was one of my biggest fears about all of this."

Valerie snuggled in deeper to him and looked up to catch his steely colored eyes glancing down at her, "I was afraid that having kids and having Nadia move in — I was afraid it was going to change us. I know things have to change and families grow, but I never want to lose that little privacy for you and me. That space where we can remember that this was all made because of us."

Valerie had been thinking about it a lot lately and it wasn't that she was scared of family, it was just as she said. She never wanted to lose the core of what they were and none of this would have existed without Valerie and Tavarius and the love they shared. The love that transcended near every terrible evil the world could throw at them. Syndicate women disappeared after babies, their role no longer at the forefront but instead to care for the children and keep them out of sight. No part of Valerie wanted to become that, to live like her mother, and she knew that in a house like this — she could keep her identity, be a mother, a wife, and love on her husband anytime anywhere.

"The rooms are big, though, and Nadia would have her own bathroom, so would we, and that backyard — I think the dogs would go crazy over all that space compared to the little fenced in thing we have now. Plus, did you see that tree in the back? That just screams Tavarius treehouse tree."

All in all, Valerie had been terrified but this house — with all the show decor put aside — had the skeleton to create a beautiful family home. The fridge would feel less cold with little scribbled pictures from their future child and the walls would hold art and photographs (which they were getting far better at taking). It would smell like them, feel like them, and Valerie could get used to coming home from a long day of school, cooking dinner and settling in that living room next to Tavarius while their child played on the floor with the dogs.

It was a strange thing to feel so sure about their future, but Valerie wanted it more than anything. They deserved a home. A real home.

"I love it, honestly," she finally admitted, "I think it has a lot of potential for us."

 

[Nav]

If Valerie wanted it, Valerie got it.

Tavarius just resigned himself with a small smile and said nothing more on the topic. He could live just about anywhere, he supposed, so if she was happy with it (and it certainly sounded like she was), then it would do just fine. To him, it was just a house. It had walls and a roof and a picket fence. It had windows, it had a fireplace, it had a water heater—and those were all fine things, but it was just a house. He wasn't particularly overwhelmed with it—it was fine—but he supposed he wouldn't be particularly overwhelmed with anything. A house was a house and if it fit their needs, then it was fine.

"Yes, I'm sure it'll be great," he remarked when she went on to detail about how perfect everything would be—the tree in the back, the backyard, the size of the rooms; they were just all the little checkboxes being ticked off one after the other. It just felt exhausting. Moving again felt exhausting, shifting again felt exhausting; Tavarius felt exhausted but he put on a weary smile all the same and glanced in her direction once more. "It's fine for me and if you love it, then it works." He was sure he'd get more enthusiastic about it, and everything else, once they were actually moving, but all his brain seemed to focus on was all the work that was still left to do.

Tiredly, he rested his chin on the top of her head as she pressed against him. His fingers hooked together behind her back and he stared at the opposing, cream coloured wall behind her with a sort of daydreaming look passing across his features. "I'm not sure there is really anything I can say that can assure you that we'll always have time for just you and me, but we will," he finally commented on her voiced fears, "I don't know how yet. I really have no idea, but we'll figure it out, I'm sure."

"Once we get in to a routine again, I'm sure we'll piece something together." They always had in the past, anyways, and Tavarius was just too tired to think through it in that moment.

He sat back on his heels a ways and tipped her head up just enough that he could press a kiss against her cheek, catching the corner of her lip. "Well, if you love it, that's all that's important. To me, it's just another house, really. So, if you think this house works for you, then it works for me. We'll need to have an inspector come through it, but we can put in an offer."

 

[Meraki]

"Yeah, I think so too."

Valerie turned in his arms to reach up and press a kiss to his lips, slow and loving. "Thank you, by the way, for coming out and doing this with me today," she smiled up at him, "I know you hate thank you's, and you don't have to say anything. I just appreciate that you came out and did this with me today, I know how exhausting the last — forever — has been. Between you and me? I love this house, but I love the idea of going home and seeing our dogs more."

"Come on," Valerie tugged on his hand, "Let's finish this up and then go see our kids."

They'd been separated from the dogs a few times, but none more memorable for Valerie than after being shot. When Tavarius was nearly killed in that warehouse, Valerie did not think of anything but him, but when the roles were revered she worried about everyone. She worried about how Tavarius was doing, how he was holding up mentally, and more than anything she worried about the dogs who were so innocent in the whole thing. Wolf and Saint were trained dogs, yes, and she had seen Wolf rip a human apart before — but they worked under commands of humans and for that, they could not be blamed.

When she was shot, she just remembered hearing Max whimpering and crying out before she felt Tavarius' hands there, cradling her head and putting pressure on her wounds. She hated having to ship them around and leave him with others all because the life they led was dangerous or things unexpectedly changed. They all deserved normalcy. It was all about that routine and once the dogs were back in the house, she would sure everything would fall into place. Home would be home, for everyone.

They spoke with the woman, got everything in order, and made their way back to their much smaller home. Just as Valerie anticipated, moments after they pulled in, Flynn pulled in behind them with two noses pressed up against the glass in the trunk and one very regal looking Max sitting in the passenger seat looking up until he caught their gaze. Then that regal, sophisticated look turned into a big dorky smile with his tongue hanging out. "Delivery," Flynn laughed as he slipped out of the driver's side, "Nice to see you both again. Just figured I'd run by quick to drop these guys off for you."

"Petrove, would you mind?" he pointed to the trunk with his thumb, "I'd rather not lose a hand." After all, Saint and Wolf would do anything to find Tavarius. Just as Flynn was going to shut his driver's side door, Max bolted over the center console and went sputtering out on the ice until he could manage enough footing to bolt for Valerie. All the while, his playful barks echoed in the driveway. He was getting bigger — not nearly full grown, but enough where he was a bit too big for Valerie to pick up.

"Hi there," she laughed and crouched down to wrap her arms around his neck and let him go wild in her hair with his nose, "I missed you too, baby. All three of you. Welcome home."

 

[Nav]

"You don't need to thank me," Tavarius replied. He knew very well he could have sent Valerie out to house search all by herself, as she would have done it and he would have been happy with whatever she picked. "I really do hate thank-yous," he agreed, "But I don't mind appreciation."

He came out with her to look at the house because it's what she wanted to do and he could suffer through several hours of jargon that meant nothing to him if it made her happy. Still, he was glad when she took his hand and tugged him along. Within a few minutes, they were on their way back home. Home, at least for the time being. It might have been a small, little house, but the bright blue siding was a welcomed sight for Tavarius, who physically sighed out in relief as he pulled back into the drive and killed the engine. He barely had time to step out of the car before Flynn's SUV was pulling up behind them, his headlights pooling around Tavarius' legs as he raised his brows and glanced back.

Even with the engine killed, the truck was making an awful lot of noise. In the back, the two Shepherds were swirling around and barking up a storm. They threw their weight almost violently around, until the chasee was bouncing on the suspension.

"You wouldn't lose a hand," Tavarius replied idly as he stepped around Flynn and made his way to the double doors in the back, "You'd lose hands." Though the clarification wasn't any more comforting, he supposed. Pulling open the doors, he smiled the widest he had in a few days—until his full row of teeth were shining and white. The pair didn't sit patient, good, or thoughtful. A solemn peacefulness did not grip them as they launched themselves into Tavarius' chest. With their noses pressed against his coat and tails wagging, an air of calmness and resignation—of gentle sadness—overcame them. Immediately, Tavarius brought his hands down the back of their heads and necks, stroking down the sleek black and white fur, respectively.

Soft whimpers made their way out with every exhalation, as if trying to convince Tavarius they truly thought they'd never see him again. With some coaxing, he finally managed to get the pair out of the back of the truck, giving them a few friendly pats on the head before making his way back towards Valerie and Max. Saint and Wolf, meanwhile, absolutely refused to budge from Tavarius's side—moving as if they had been glued to him. Not once did their sides move from his legs, as if they found comfort in feeling him next to them.

"Thanks for bringing the dogs over, Flynn," he said, slipping his hands in to his pockets, "It's good to have the family back together finally."

 

[Meraki]

It felt good to have everyone back together again. All they were missing was Nadia and in a few short months, she would be back here with them permanently. Valerie felt strangely emotional for a moment, crouched down with Max and holding him as he licked at any part of her he could get and of course, pressing his nose affectionately up against her shirt because she smelled different. She bet pregnancy did a whole bunch of things to your scent and she couldn't help but think about how big he had gotten form that little puppy in Santa Monica. Was this what the rest of her life was going to be like? She was not used to watching people grow old, just coping with those that were cut abruptly short, and her hormones were out of whack. She was sure tomorrow she would be okay, but today she held Max a bit tighter.

Life went on beyond the syndicate, the months were rolling by and they were all changing. Every single one of them.

"Hey there," she smiled at Wolf and Saint as Tavarius walked back over to talk to Flynn. Valerie didn't even have to move to scratch Wolf affectionately between the ears because he kept constant stance at Tavarius' side. The poor dogs, Valerie wanted to give them normalcy above all else. They did not deserve to wonder if they were ever coming back or not. No one did.

"No problem. Our friend who was watching them was gonna drop them off later but I was on my way back from a few hours at the office and thought I'd bring 'em by sooner," Flynn shrugged, "I also spoke with my boss today, said you can start when you're ready. This week, next week, you just let me know and we'll get you set up."

"I find that the easiest way to deal with the aftermath of this kinda stuff is just to get back into it," he offered, "but if you want more time, it's all yours. Also, Valerie, Cyn would kill me if I didn't tell you that she needs just one more pie tomorrow, if you can manage it."

"Yeah, of course," Valerie smiled, pushing herself up standing so she could snake her hand into Tavarius' and laugh a little, "easy as pie."

 

[Nav]

"Yea, thanks, I'll get back to you about that. Maybe tomorrow. I'm just too tired to even think about that," Tavarius replied to Flynn's comment about work. The man was probably right—just getting back in the metaphorical saddle, but it was a hard thing to deal with. On one hand, he wasn't exactly the sit around, do nothing type, but he knew he'd spend all day, every day worrying if Valerie was alright. It would take some getting used to, that was for sure, but he was bound to go mad if he didn't work. That, or he'd drive Valerie mad first. He couldn't decide who would be the first to crumble.

Valerie's hand encircled his and he gingerly closed his fingers across her knuckles, having very nearly forgotten about the indoor BBQ event going on the next day until it was brought up. It felt like he couldn't keep anything straight in his mind anymore, but he knew that was a symptom of exhaustion. Eventually, his rest and wake cycles would sync and he'd be back to his usual self, but for the meantime, Tavarius was just acting a little quiet and aloof. Not necessarily unfriendly, just distant, like he was lost in some kind of daydream.

"You want to come inside? There is beer in the fridge, if you want to stay for one," Tavarius invited Flynn politely, though he was glad when Flynn politely declined—explaining that more work needed to be done back home to get ready for the party the next day. With Tavarius being exhausted and Valerie sounding like she needed to make a pie, he was genuinely glad for the reprieve. "Well, thanks for bringing the dogs over," he concluded, "We'll see you tomorrow?"

They briefly said their goodbyes and Tavarius gave Valerie's hand a small tug towards the house, enjoying the greeting of warm air and the three dogs surging past them and barking as they tumbled happily into the fray. They were all quickly running room to room, barking up a storm.

"So…" he slid his hand free and gave her a sideways smile, "It sounds like you have some pie to bake and it sounds like I might have some pie filling to taste test." Valerie had never (in his memory, anyways) baked a pie before in front of him or with him, so he was excited to see how it turned out—as he was quite keen on the fruit-stuffed pastry, himself.

 

[Meraki]

As much as Valerie liked the Flynns, she also quite liked some alone time with her husband. It was a welcome deprive when Flynn headed back out to go tend to his own wife and daughter, leaving the Petroves to soak up their own little family moment. It felt better to step back into the warmth of the house and both feel the warmth inside and out as the dogs bounded off barking and re-exploring their little home. Valerie peeled off her jacket and kicked off her boots, her hand coming up to run through her hair as she mused over what kind of pie to make.

"Oh, do you?" she smiled bright, her eyes lighting up at the smile reflected on his own face, "I think we can definitely manage some pie filling for you to taste test. I went to the store yesterday, so we've got plenty of fruit. I'm thinking maybe blueberry? I definitely did not buy enough apples for an apple pie."

Valerie caught his lips in a kiss as they made their way to the kitchen. Immediately she tugged on an apron and put down some parchment paper so she could flour it to roll out the dough she was eventually going to make. She pulled out a whole container of blueberries (that she had bought strictly because of her cravings, but she knew if there was fruit in the house, Tavarius would much on it) and started on a filling. It took her all of five minutes to cook up a thick, delicious pan of blueberry filling and she set it in a bowl on the island, next to where she would be making the pie crust, and handed Tavarius a spoon.

"Here you go," Valerie smirked, "This is your moment, taste tester. What do you think? Can I make the crust and serve this to other people?"

 

[Nav]

Tavarius was just lagging. He moved slowly, even inside where the heat was beginning to seep through his bones. He pulled off his coat and kicked off his boots, tossing them aside before descending into the kitchen. He didn't even make it all that far, just sort of plopping down at the island counters. Once she had gotten her kicks out, Saint had come trotting over and laid down at his feet while the two boys continued to romp around the house.

"Sure," he replied, resting his chin in his hands and looking across to her, "Blueberry is fine for me."

Tavarius had never been much of a sweet eater, usually preferring the salty counterpart over the sweet, but something about the way the blueberry filling began to smell caused a smile to tilt the corner of his lips. It had the aroma of warmth, friendliness, and home, which was funny considering he could never remember a time that anyone had ever baked a pie in front of him before. Once, Natalya had tried to bake a pumpkin pie at the villa—and while it smelled great, it ended up being a culinary disaster. Nevermind that poor Nadia had nearly been out of her mind at the mess Natalya had left behind: heavy cream spills on the counter, a dusting of cinnamon on the floor, and husks of sweet pumpkins abandoned in a mixing bowl.

Something told him that Valerie would be able to produce something that he'd at least be able to eat without gagging. But always the dutiful, faithful, steadfast significant other—Tavarius had eaten that damned pumpkin pie, even though it had given him the most terrible nausea. He had spent the rest of the following day vomiting up, but Natalya never knew. That said, Tavarius vowed to never eat another pumpking pie so long as he lived. Blueberry, on the other hand, was perfectly acceptable.

Reaching out and taking the extended spoon when offered, he slid the compote into his mouth and hummed contently at the sweet, but not overly sweet, warm filling. "I think it's delicious," he concluded, handing the spoon back to her with a smirk, "But I kind of what that pie all to myself so, no, I think it will kill everyone… I'm sorry, you absolutely cannot serve that to anyone else except me unless you want everyone to die."

"Buuuut, I guess I won't be greedy over pie. It's delicious and will be perfect for tomorrow, I'm sure."