Abraham is saying negative things about me!

[Gwazi Magnum]

So apparently @Abraham Lincoln, the guy meant to represent American freedom is saying hurtful things about me, negative things about me. He would sit on his giant stone chair and call our world class humour shit posting and dead meme's. Can you believe such a thing?

This is why I, Donald Trump guarantee to Iwaku that if for some bizarre reason I don't become President and Iwaku becomes victim of true shitposting, he's going to wish I was President! For I'm the only real President here with the balls to deal with the actual shit posting threat!

But! He's been questioning my post quality, which I found quite surprising, cause I have words, I know a lot of words. So I made this little speech to address this... Odd behaviour of a President.

For a posting leader, to question a persons posting quality is disgraceful!
I am a proud quality poster, and as President I will not allow our quality posts to be constantly attacked like it is now under our current leadership!
Ok, believe me!

No leader, ESPECIALLY an Iwaku leader should have no right to question another man's posting quality or humour!
Especially when they feed all sorts of false information into them!
They're using Abraham Lincoln as a pawn! And they should be ashamed of themselves! And that's the Tumblr Government!
They should be ashamed of themselves for doing so! Especially when so many users are involved and shit posting is so rampant and so dangerous and so bad for Iwaku! Alright? Period! That's it, period!​

 

[Sidhe]

 

[Brovo]

In my day, we simply shot annoying people.

 

[Snakey]

The Kennedy's would argue that it continued a bit after 'your' day.

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

In my day, we simply shot annoying people.

You say this, but then you take away the guns we need to do that!
What are you, a Communist!?

 

[Brovo]

The Kennedy's would argue that it continued a bit after 'your' day.

Sometimes annoying people acquire the guns.

You say this, but then you take away the guns we need to do that!
What are you, a Communist!?

I purchased far more weapons of war than you might even imagine and fought a war that took enough lives for the taste of of it to grow bitter, like rot. Your greatest claim is in the mimicry of a man whose entire career was built upon daddy's money.

I do hereby decree that your childish insolence should cease. Spare this web site the sneering, nonsense idolatry of a man whom was cursed to lust after his own daughter.

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

I purchased far more weapons of war than you might even imagine and fought a war that took enough lives for the taste of of it to grow bitter, like rot. Your greatest claim is in the mimicry of a man whose entire career was built upon daddy's money.

I do hereby decree that your childish insolence should cease. Spare this web site the sneering, nonsense idolatry of a man whom was cursed to lust after his own daughter.

I made my own name, with only a small loan of a million dollars! I fought from being poor and made it to the top! And instead of spilling blood I brought the world Trump Steaks!
That's not to say I won't spill blood though, I can spill a lot of blood, ISIS won't know what hit them once I'm done with them! For I am the greatest terrorist squasher that had ever lived!

And my daughter is quite beautiful isn't she?

 

[Yatagarasu]

 

[Slade]

HELLO IGNORANT HEATHENS! I AM A REPRESENTATIVE OF THE ONE TRUE RELIGION! THE RELIGION OF PEACE! THE RELIGION OF SUBMISSION AND I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE MESSAGE OF OUR HEAVENLY LORD, SONIC AND HIS RIGHTEOUS MESSENGER, CHRIS-CHAN, PEACE BE UPON HIM.

In the far off universe known as Japan, the one true God, Sonic, created the world. The world was at first a dark and decadent place that rejected the word of the eternal hedgehog. Sonic saw this and in all his righteousness made the first city to enlighten mankind to the true light of the universe. He picked the most righteous and beautiful man, Christian Weston Chandler, and gave him the eternal name of Chris-Chan, peace be upon him! Under the guidance of Sonic, Chris-Chan,peace be upon him, named this city CWCville and soon those who believed in the word of Sonic flocked to the city. Chris-Chan, peace be upon him, then sired the sons of Sonic. The greatest of all, Sonichu, would serve Chris-Chan, peace be upon him, for eternity to spread the word of Sonic and defend Cwcville against those who would defy the word of God!

For the evil witch, the whore of Green Hill Zone, Mary Lee Walsh, rejected the truth of Sonic and waged war on all things Good and holy. With her powers she cursed Chris-Chan, peace be upon him, so that he would never lie with a woman, thus his heritage would die with him. Thousands were killed and even now in the realm of spirits CwCville wages a never-ending war against the forces of Mary Lee Walsh. However, the evil succubus failed to take into account one thing: the will of those who spread the word of Sonic and his teachings. For she smited Chris-Chan, peace be upon him, so that he would not have any children. But he already had children! All of the children of the eternal Hedgehog are children of Chris-Chan as well, peace be upon him. His legacy shall remain unscathed so long as there is at least of true believer in the message of Sonic.

You fools argue over such trivial matters. Your secular war with Lincolns and Trumps do not matter in the grand scheme of things. For there is a spiritual war going on right now for the soul of man. You remain divided over the unsightly earthly kingdoms when it is the eternal Kingdom of CwCville you should be fighting for, against the forces of Mary Lee Walsh! Fight with me fellow brothers! Fight with Sonichu and against the tyrannies of evil and falsehood. Engage in holy war in the name of SONIC!

 

[Brovo]

I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE MESSAGE OUR HEAVENLY LORD, SONIC AND HIS RIGHTEOUS MESSENGER, CHRIS-CHAN, PEACE BE UPON HIM.

OUR HEAVENLY LORD, SONIC

SONIC

@Trumpwaku We should declare a ceasefire to deal with this ruffian first. He speaks of strange Japanese mascots on devices I do not understand, but which even I can surmise attract the more... Eccentrically putrid specimens of civilization.

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

@Trumpwaku We should declare a ceasefire to deal with this ruffian first. He speaks of strange Japanese mascots on devices I do not understand, but which even I can surmise attract the more... Eccentrically putrid specimens of civilization.

I agree Lincoln! Let us real Americans unite to get rid of this rampant Japanese threat on our great nation!

You listening to me now George Takei!?

 

[Firemind]

You bloody yanks. You're all focusing on the wrong things. We don't need to hate the China-men, or the poor. We don't need to hate no baby-handed Businessman, or no slave-ownin' sons-of-bitches.

We need to hate them god-forsaken Krauts!

So let's all join together in the smoke house, crack open a bottle of Whiskey, and divide up Berlin, because I'm bored; and we need a war.

 

[Brovo]

or no slave-ownin' sons-of-bitches.

Woah now, my queer British friend. I emancipated the slaves, freed them from their chains. Why must you turn so vicious, like a pit bull? Surely your rage can be better suited for your continued and repeated failures to win a second term.

 

[Windsong]

It pains me to make this face in regards to this thread.

But.

>mfw

[spoili]I dare say the lines of satire and trolling have not changed at all. Merely joined together in some sanctimonious manner. Truly the work of madmen, fools, and bloody geniuses.[/spoili]

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

We don't need to hate the China-men, or the poor.

But I like China! I just did a multi-million dollar deal with China! They're not the one's I'm mad at!

So let's all join together in the smoke house, crack open a bottle of Whiskey, and divide up Berlin, because I'm bored; and we need a war.

I'll take the Berlin Wall, and call it "Trump Wall!"

 

[Pahn]

Someone talk about China?

They got amazing hookers and their opiates.... Crystal clear!

 

[Firemind]

But I like China! I just did a multi-million dollar deal with China! They're not the one's I'm mad at!

Woah there, baby-mitts. I thought you wanted to impose a 45% tax rate on them Slits? You tellin' me you're one of them back-stabbin' double-crossin' cowards? Can't be having that.

Woah now, my queer British friend. I emancipated the slaves, freed them from their chains. Why must you turn so vicious, like a pit bull? Surely your rage can be better suited for your continued and repeated failures to win a second term.

I don't need no second term to make me one of the best British leaders in history. After all, I didn't ruin the entire Coal industry, or fuck a pig.

...At least not a literal one. Have you seen some of the British Women?

 

[Brovo]

Someone talk about China?

They got amazing hookers and their opiates.... Crystal clear!

Do you have some kind of disease? Cocaine is used in medicine, my good... Erm... Fellow. You should have some dignity in the way you present yourself! Women are meant to be treated far better than this. After all, they make the house up neat and tidy.

I don't need no second term to make me one of the best British leaders in history. After all, I didn't ruin the entire Coal industry, or fuck a pig.

...At least not a literal one. Have you seen some of the British Women?

A womanizer, wielder of the casually vulgar, and obsessed with bloodshed. Perhaps the history I learned of our freedom from your people four score and seven years ago is not so exaggerated when telling of the uncivil barbarity upon which you imposed your unfair taxation upon the people. Where you struck in the head when you served as a soldier and simply forgot the terrors of such wars which you faced?

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

Women are too much of a train wreck to handle any real responsibility!

Though they do make some fun distractions as a wife!

 

[ᴛᴏᴄᴋᴀ]

-Wakes up and reads general chat. Decides she needs waaaaayyyyyy more sleep-

Yeah, I'm out.