About Relationships (Not the romantic kind, I mean)

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Izurich, Sep 6, 2015.

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  1. Specifically, about relationship between Roleplayers. :) As my core philosophy about RP-ing is mutual enjoyment, I strive for the best for everyone, for my partners to have enjoyment in our threads. I try as best as I can to make them have a good time.

    It doesn't always work out however, :( Iwaku is the first site in my whole RP-ing career that I've - consciously know - been put on 'Ignore', yes, I am confident I've been put on ignore cause I can't send the person anymore PMs. I know that you can't have everyone to like you, even if you try your best to respect everyone, but... it still took a blow on me.

    I'm used to be a very shy person, I grew out of it about 4-5 years back, but still I am a shy person at heart. I put effort, time, and energy in building relationships with people. :) I like to have friends with whom I can RP together. I like it when people tell me their troubles and concerns so I can help them however I could.

    Now it is my time to ask for advices.

    What do you take on this, Iwakuans? Is there anything I should change about my behavior?

    Thank you and with regards,
    Izurich

    P.S: Thank you for reading this, I truly appreciate your time.
     
  2. Well, one thing I'd like to point out is that you may not have been put on ignore; there's a setting that allows you to only receive PMs from people you're following, so that may be the issue.. So don't get down on yourself too much. ^^

    Honestly, if you were put on ignore, there isn't really much you can do. I don't recommend changing your behavior over it(unless you said something you feel was wrong), because honestly, as you said, you can't have everyone like you! As sucky as it is, there will always be someone that doesn't like you. It just can't be helped. :( It isn't anything to let get to you or take offense about, because it's just human nature. People have different personalities and outlooks, and so it happens.

    All I can advise is that you don't let it drag you down. I doubt it's your fault at all. ^^
     
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  3. It's hard to make that call without knowing what actions have lead up to it. Do you know why you've been put on ignore?
     
  4. I am quite sure as the moment I sent the person a new message, they instantly "Left the conversation".

    Thank you very much for the advices, Hospes. I truly appreciate it. :)

    I can give the chronological events leading up to it... but I feel it will be disrespectful of me to put in in a public forum.
     
  5. If you couldn't PM them again after that, it means you've been put on ignore of they changed their settings after that PM. When they were able to 'leave' a conversation, neither of these were in effect.

    Understandable. However that means I can not give advice or share my opinion.
     
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  6. I see, I sincerely hope it is the latter then.

    That's alright, Kestrel. :) The thought that you consider putting time and effort to give me advices already warms my heart.
     
  7. A topic about giving you advice and what nots while you sit there and give me that explanation to my personal confusion XP Never thought of being "Shy at heart" I always wondered why my personal shyness lingered from oh so long ago. One time during a class thingy I was talking normal and I see my hand shaking like a mad man, I'm like "Are you KIDDING ME!!! I'm not nervous in the slightest -.- Stupid body" Or "Oh hey, that person needs a bit of help with something. Let's go offer it." Body refuses to go. "Orrrrrrr I'll send a facebook message later tonight -.- Piece of shit body"


    As Kestrel said, it's hard to give you advice since we know so little... Thankfully for you, I think I know exactly what you're talking about due to my past experiences ^^ (If i'm completely wrong, then sorry XP But at least you got a pro tip for a different situation then ^^)

    Everything you said sounds like something I would say (One way or another) And if you're ANYTHING like me, then don't change a thing about your behavior. XD I spent probably a good year trying to get along with people who simply didn't want to get along, they just wanted to be passive aggressive/petty. The moment I left that environment, I was millions times more happy. If the people you're talking about is passive aggressive and/or petty (Sounds like it XD putting ya on ignore/rejecting simple talks instead of facing the issues) then it will be best to not try to be friends with those toxic people. If they come to you, cool ^^ But don't take that as being their BFFFL, just take it as "Okay, they're back. Let's see where this goes, and hopefully they can add more entertainment to my RP. If they bring toxinity to my RP then I'll have no choice but to say Cya and kick em out, or try telling the GM about their toxicity."

    I wish there was an alternative that sounds less like a jerk, but I spent a good while trying to find alternatives for those kinds of people. There are none, at least happy ones.
     
    #7 Pharaoh Shadon, Sep 6, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 7, 2015
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  8. Looks like we are quite alike in this aspect of our personality!

    By Goddess Madoka, I agree 140% with everything you said here! Everything from behavior, dealing with passive-aggressive RP partners who would find the fault in any attempt to communicate with them, and what should One do to get over it. You are right, there are many wonderful people out there, we don't have to waste our time, effort, and ideas with people who won't respect them.

    I've never tried GM-ing on Iwaku, but back in my previous site, I did have to kick a player for being really passive-aggressive, refusing any attempts to communicate, and generally being that one guy who dragged everyone behind.

    Thank you, Pharaoh. I truly appreciate it.
     
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  9. Looks like we are quite alike in this aspect of our personality!
    :D :D :D :D

    By Goddess Madoka, I agree 140% with everything you said here! Everything from behavior, dealing with passive-aggressive RP partners who would find the fault in any attempt to communicate with them, and what should One do to get over it. You are right, there are many wonderful people out there, we don't have to waste our time, effort, and ideas with people who won't respect them.
    Yeah DX If I remember right, I posted up a few of my stories on that roleplaying pet peeves topic at general chatting which explained a few of my stories and stuffs. If you want to see some stupidness, check it out XD

    I've never tried GM-ing on Iwaku, but back in my previous site, I did have to kick a player for being really passive-aggressive, refusing any attempts to communicate, and generally being that one guy who dragged everyone behind.
    I never had to do that personally, my RP's were generally far too fast paced. If someone tried to drag it down, they would be left behind (Or killed off as they would piss off the other RP characters XD Key word characters, not nessessarily members, i'll explain that in a moment)

    mutual enjoyment, I strive for the best for everyone, for my partners to have enjoyment in our threads.
    I know right? When I RP, I just wanna have fun. Allot of people seem like they don't wanna have fun anymore. They just wanna be depressed, and then they make a character to represent their depressed feels, and then they get pissed off when another RP character goes after them about it because attacking the character is like attacking him directly XP

    I always say "Do what your character would do, not what you WANT your character to do" Like if my character would die in a situation? So be it, his/her ass is dead XD He/she made a shitty choice and he/she has to pay the consequences for it. But people like plot shields, and people don't like to suffer consequences anymore, them-self or their characters XP (Well granted nobody LIKES to suffer consequences, but what I mean is nobody accepts them like they should, they try to BS their way out of it.)

    Thank you, Pharaoh. I truly appreciate it.
    WELL the Pharaoh has a responsibility to treat his subjects well and help if someone needs/seeks it ^^
    (Kinda funny story, back at another forum when someone would call me "Pharaoh" Instead of "Shadon" My friend would be like "noooo!!!! Don't call him pharaoh! You're only expanding his ego!!!!!!!")
     
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  10. Speaking from personal experience, you will always get people who dislike you.
    And they could hold that disliking for years to come, even if no reason other than that it's what they're used to.

    Don't bother changing your behaviour or core for these people. You won't please them and will only end up hurting yourself trying to.
    By all means take attempts to at least be neutral, as in at least holding basic respect for one another as fellow human beings, or simply an agreement to disagree.
    It helps to make sure those you don't get along with are handled maturely and not dragged into unneeded conflict, but there's a difference between being civil about it, and trying to change one's view/perspective of you.

    And if that doesn't work and the other side is legitimately using aggressive behaviour against you? That's what the Staff are for.

    But if all that happened is someone blocked you? Don't let it bother you, just recognize you two don't hit it off and move on.
    I might personally disagree with a person resorting to using "Ignore" to avoid people (at least if it's over a simple dislike and not anything serious), but some people still do it, and if that's what they do then simply respecting their wishes and preventing it from becoming a bigger issue is the best thing to do on both sides.
     
    #10 Gwazi Magnum, Sep 8, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 8, 2015
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  11. You absolutely don't need to change anything about yourself from what interactions I've had with you on Iwaku. There are some people that just won't get along with you no matter how hard you try, don't take it personally. Just keep striving to be a decent human being and the rest will tend to itself. :ferret:
     
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  12. @Gen. Gwazi Magnum PI: Thank you! Yep, I always hold a basic level of respect for all strangers, it helps me a lot in overcoming my shyness.

    @Brovo: Awww~ It warms my heart, Ferret-sensei, thou art magnifique.

    @Both: Yeah, sometimes I feel like some people won't get along no matter what, they are actively looking for conflict. Illogical? Absolutely, but as Ferret-sensei's rant thread said, humans are emotional creatures... I just can't deal with people who let their negative feelings rule 90% of their actions instead of logic and mutual respect for each other.

    -

    This reminds me of something, I want to add a point that an RP-er once said in their scrapbook (kinda like blog) thread that they are wondering why people are leaving them and they can't get any RPs to last more than a month... after I personally approached them and offered them an RP, they found an idea they don't like then they immediately 'quit' the PM instead of working it out with me. ....*CAPS INCOMING*! NO WONDER YOU GET NO GOOD RPS BECAUSE YOU DELIBERATELY PUSH AWAY PEOPLE WHO GENUINELY WANTS TO RP WITH YOU (LIKE ME)! YOU KICK SOMEONE THEN YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT IT, that's not how it works... aaah humans.

    Phew, glad I got that out of my system. :bananaman: now then, let's return to the wonderful world of Iwaku, shall we?
     
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  13. This reminds me, It should also be worth nothing that it's far easier to find flaws in others than in yourself. it comes with the emotional territory of being human.

    So if you are in a situation where people do not like one another, it's normally worthwhile to try to step back and neutrally/logically examine the situation.
    See if there's something you've done to provoke it on your side, and if you have difficulty doing that then asked a respectful 3rd party to help draw attention to where you might have made a mistake.

    That's not to suggest that all issues are your fault, or that this particular one was your fault (I have no info there to make a guess one way or the other), just to remind people that the end of the day we are all still human. Mistakes can be made, mistakes can be missed, and these often times if not caught (or are caught in a defensive manner) can only further a conflict/disliking that could otherwise have been avoided.

    Agreed! :)
     
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