S
StarDust
Guest
Original poster
Hello! before i let you read any of this i have a few things to point out!
i really want feedback on this, but try not to butcher it please, i know its not top notch, but its not completely awful either.
Regarding Arias past and all the obscure referrals she makes to things she is hesitant about, things she dislikes and such, you NOT suppose to know much yet, the point is for you to read, form your own idea on why she thinks a certain way, or what her true reasons behind her worry about time and how much she has.
this story unfolds as you gradually learn about Aria through her interactions with others, but the way im doing it is a little different so... i would like some opinions on it.
it will come out slowly, as i work one chapter at a time.
~Note! this story contains some Christian themes, but not too heavily, if you dont like it, dont read it. if you do read, dont hate.~
A Year of Miracles
Ch.1 A New Year
Purple curtains flapped with a breeze that crept in through a half opened window. The crisp air nipped at the nose of a young girl, causing her unusual amethyst eyes to flutter open. She got out of bed, rubbing at her eyes as she went to close her window, shutting out the icy winter air. It was the first day of the New Year, a brand new start. She didn't have long, so she was going to make the most of it. Her New Years resolution? To spend the next year smiling, and to make others smile. It may have been a childish or even naïve resolution, but she had her reasons.
"Aria, would you like some breakfast dear?" the voice of an older woman rang from the main floor of the small two bedroom house.
"Coming Mariam!" the girl replied.
Aria hurried downstairs, her tussled chestnut brown hair bouncing around her shoulders. The house was filled the smell of maple, and the table was set with plates of pancakes.
"This smells amazing!" Aria said taking in a scene that was not previously common to her.
"Why thank you dear." A woman in her late 40's finished setting the table as a man only a few years older walked in. "Tom, you'd best hurry or you might be late for work."
"You know I'm never late Mariam." He gave her a peck on the cheek before sitting down. He turned to Aria, who had already seated herself. "Now Aria, you've already been registered for classes at the local college under the name Sylvana, our name." he took a bite of the pancakes. "You've got a week before the next semester starts, so I would hope that you take some time to get to know the town since you just arrived here."
"Thank you Tom, Mariam. It's kind of you to allow me into your home." Aria replied with a smile. Tom and Mariam Sylvana were what you could call foster parents even though Aria was 19 and old enough to live on her own. She was to spend the next year living with Tom and Mariam while she learned to live the way she wanted. She frowned at the thought of the four walls that had once kept her from the life she wanted, and pushed the memories away. "I'm really looking forward to the time I get to spend here"
"And we are glad to have you." Mariam said as she joined them at the table. The newly formed family ate a cheerful breakfast and worked together on the cleanup. Aria went back upstairs and showered, thinking about everything that was happening around her, and all that would happen in the coming months. As she brushed her hair and prepared for the day she found herself filled with mixed feelings. Her time in this town could be as much of a curse as it was a blessing. She wondered if it would be ok to make connections, even to build relationships with people she might not see for very long. She pushed her negative thoughts away as she headed back downstairs.
She opened the front door and was greeted by the chilly winds of January winter. It was a beautiful day for winter, the sun warm on her face despite the frigid air. Aria walked about town, getting to know her neighborhood as much as she could. A thoughtful expression settled on her face, her breath coming out in white puffs of fog.
Aria was content to walk for long amounts of time, and today was no exception. She had walked all the way from her home on the north side of town, through the more upper class east, the modest southern shopping area, even the park near the town square and the main street shopping area as well. She found herself in the slightly run-down west part of town in the later parts of the afternoon. Her somewhat round-about route through town was ending as she made her way back to her neighbor hood in the north.
Aria checked her watch when she heard her stomach grumble. 3pm already? She let out a tired sigh, and then jumped as she heard crunching in the snow behind her. She turned around as a man tumbled to the icy ground.
"sir, are you ok?" She hurried over, being careful not to slip on the ice.
"Fine now lil' lady" The man's eyes were fixed on her as he got up. Aria hesitated when the faint smell of alcohol met her nose. She kept her distance.
"If you're alright then I had better be on my way." She said, turning to walk away. The man caught her be the wrist and yanked her around so that she was facing him.
"Now ya wouldn't leave a poor old man teh fend fer himself?" he slurred, obviously more intoxicated then Aria had originally though. She reacted immediately.
"Get off of me you drunken lecher!" she yanked her hand away and turned to run, slipping on the ice. She crashed to the icy cold ground with a thud. She winced at a sharp pain in her hand. She looked to see a shallow cut, bleeding only slightly. By the time her attention shifted back to her situation, the drunken man was upon her once again. His hands groped at her coat, in an attempt to yank it off.
"I said get away!" just as she went to kick his feet out from underneath him, the man was yanked away by another, much younger one.
"Didn't you hear the girl? Why don't you go home and sober up you old pervert, before I call the cops!" the young man gave the drunk a shove, and he stumbled off grumbling obscenities.
"Thanks, if I wouldn't have fallen I'm sure I would've been ok, but I still appreciate the help." Aria smiled as she got up. She let her sleeve fall over her injured hand, figuring she could take care of the cut when she got home. "it's already this late in the afternoon and people are still drinking for the holiday...this is one reason I hate New Years."And that's only the first reason. Aria thought.
"Whatever, I was just passing by." He replied rather coldly.
Aria gave him a curious look. Upon further inspection he was quite attractive and appeared to be around her age. His blonde hair was in a seemingly systematic mess, and his eyes as icy blue as the sky reflected in the frozen puddle beneath their feet.
"Anyway, my name is Aria, I'm new in town." She gave a polite smile.
"Chase." the blonde replied bluntly.
"Nice to meet you Chase." Aria said, stopping as her stomach reminded her of her hunger. "Well, I had better be on my way. I hope to see you around town!" she gave a wave before heading off once again. She glanced over her shoulder to see Chase wandering in the opposite direction. She shrugged, humming a light tune as she made her way home.
Tuesday January 1st, 2012, Progress Journal
Well this was day 1, and things have already taken an interesting turn. A normal stroll turned into an odd confrontation, which ended with the weirdest type of meeting. I wonder if the rest of the year will be like?
i really want feedback on this, but try not to butcher it please, i know its not top notch, but its not completely awful either.
Regarding Arias past and all the obscure referrals she makes to things she is hesitant about, things she dislikes and such, you NOT suppose to know much yet, the point is for you to read, form your own idea on why she thinks a certain way, or what her true reasons behind her worry about time and how much she has.
this story unfolds as you gradually learn about Aria through her interactions with others, but the way im doing it is a little different so... i would like some opinions on it.
it will come out slowly, as i work one chapter at a time.
~Note! this story contains some Christian themes, but not too heavily, if you dont like it, dont read it. if you do read, dont hate.~
A Year of Miracles
Ch.1 A New Year
Purple curtains flapped with a breeze that crept in through a half opened window. The crisp air nipped at the nose of a young girl, causing her unusual amethyst eyes to flutter open. She got out of bed, rubbing at her eyes as she went to close her window, shutting out the icy winter air. It was the first day of the New Year, a brand new start. She didn't have long, so she was going to make the most of it. Her New Years resolution? To spend the next year smiling, and to make others smile. It may have been a childish or even naïve resolution, but she had her reasons.
"Aria, would you like some breakfast dear?" the voice of an older woman rang from the main floor of the small two bedroom house.
"Coming Mariam!" the girl replied.
Aria hurried downstairs, her tussled chestnut brown hair bouncing around her shoulders. The house was filled the smell of maple, and the table was set with plates of pancakes.
"This smells amazing!" Aria said taking in a scene that was not previously common to her.
"Why thank you dear." A woman in her late 40's finished setting the table as a man only a few years older walked in. "Tom, you'd best hurry or you might be late for work."
"You know I'm never late Mariam." He gave her a peck on the cheek before sitting down. He turned to Aria, who had already seated herself. "Now Aria, you've already been registered for classes at the local college under the name Sylvana, our name." he took a bite of the pancakes. "You've got a week before the next semester starts, so I would hope that you take some time to get to know the town since you just arrived here."
"Thank you Tom, Mariam. It's kind of you to allow me into your home." Aria replied with a smile. Tom and Mariam Sylvana were what you could call foster parents even though Aria was 19 and old enough to live on her own. She was to spend the next year living with Tom and Mariam while she learned to live the way she wanted. She frowned at the thought of the four walls that had once kept her from the life she wanted, and pushed the memories away. "I'm really looking forward to the time I get to spend here"
"And we are glad to have you." Mariam said as she joined them at the table. The newly formed family ate a cheerful breakfast and worked together on the cleanup. Aria went back upstairs and showered, thinking about everything that was happening around her, and all that would happen in the coming months. As she brushed her hair and prepared for the day she found herself filled with mixed feelings. Her time in this town could be as much of a curse as it was a blessing. She wondered if it would be ok to make connections, even to build relationships with people she might not see for very long. She pushed her negative thoughts away as she headed back downstairs.
She opened the front door and was greeted by the chilly winds of January winter. It was a beautiful day for winter, the sun warm on her face despite the frigid air. Aria walked about town, getting to know her neighborhood as much as she could. A thoughtful expression settled on her face, her breath coming out in white puffs of fog.
Aria was content to walk for long amounts of time, and today was no exception. She had walked all the way from her home on the north side of town, through the more upper class east, the modest southern shopping area, even the park near the town square and the main street shopping area as well. She found herself in the slightly run-down west part of town in the later parts of the afternoon. Her somewhat round-about route through town was ending as she made her way back to her neighbor hood in the north.
Aria checked her watch when she heard her stomach grumble. 3pm already? She let out a tired sigh, and then jumped as she heard crunching in the snow behind her. She turned around as a man tumbled to the icy ground.
"sir, are you ok?" She hurried over, being careful not to slip on the ice.
"Fine now lil' lady" The man's eyes were fixed on her as he got up. Aria hesitated when the faint smell of alcohol met her nose. She kept her distance.
"If you're alright then I had better be on my way." She said, turning to walk away. The man caught her be the wrist and yanked her around so that she was facing him.
"Now ya wouldn't leave a poor old man teh fend fer himself?" he slurred, obviously more intoxicated then Aria had originally though. She reacted immediately.
"Get off of me you drunken lecher!" she yanked her hand away and turned to run, slipping on the ice. She crashed to the icy cold ground with a thud. She winced at a sharp pain in her hand. She looked to see a shallow cut, bleeding only slightly. By the time her attention shifted back to her situation, the drunken man was upon her once again. His hands groped at her coat, in an attempt to yank it off.
"I said get away!" just as she went to kick his feet out from underneath him, the man was yanked away by another, much younger one.
"Didn't you hear the girl? Why don't you go home and sober up you old pervert, before I call the cops!" the young man gave the drunk a shove, and he stumbled off grumbling obscenities.
"Thanks, if I wouldn't have fallen I'm sure I would've been ok, but I still appreciate the help." Aria smiled as she got up. She let her sleeve fall over her injured hand, figuring she could take care of the cut when she got home. "it's already this late in the afternoon and people are still drinking for the holiday...this is one reason I hate New Years."And that's only the first reason. Aria thought.
"Whatever, I was just passing by." He replied rather coldly.
Aria gave him a curious look. Upon further inspection he was quite attractive and appeared to be around her age. His blonde hair was in a seemingly systematic mess, and his eyes as icy blue as the sky reflected in the frozen puddle beneath their feet.
"Anyway, my name is Aria, I'm new in town." She gave a polite smile.
"Chase." the blonde replied bluntly.
"Nice to meet you Chase." Aria said, stopping as her stomach reminded her of her hunger. "Well, I had better be on my way. I hope to see you around town!" she gave a wave before heading off once again. She glanced over her shoulder to see Chase wandering in the opposite direction. She shrugged, humming a light tune as she made her way home.
Tuesday January 1st, 2012, Progress Journal
Well this was day 1, and things have already taken an interesting turn. A normal stroll turned into an odd confrontation, which ended with the weirdest type of meeting. I wonder if the rest of the year will be like?