A Wolf Among The Sheep

"I'd rather him yell at me and embarrass me than allow him to potentially kill-- kill my mother." It was hard to even say those words out loud. Her mother. It was still flabbergasting that she had suddenly found her mother, especially in the way that she had done. It was exactly what Daisy was thinking: a hell of a lot had happened in the past week or so alone, and Clarissa was beginning to find her shoulders being weighed down by it all.

She wanted nothing more than to turn to Tate and break down, in a way that a mate should be able to and know she would receive that comfort and support. The same support she had provided him just days ago.

However, with the recent news that she wasn't ever going to become a mother, that dream being taken from her and then their fight where she clearly embarrassed him in front of their pack... she doubted she would be receiving any kind of comfort from Tate any time soon.

"Could you tell him, from me? If Tate comes back and doesn't see me with the pack and finds out I've been back in the hut with Anders, it'll just make the whole situation worse." She asked, tearing her own gaze away from the family hut where she knew Anders would be with Teddy. Seeing the sweet baby girl would also just make things more difficult again. She had indulged earlier, but Clarissa was beginning to wonder if that was such a good idea. Teasing herself with a future she would never have. It would just be painful to have to give Teddy up each time at the end of every day.

Exhaling heavily, she pulled back from Daisy and took the stick from the girl's hand, going back to poking the bandages for a moment. She would have to tell Anders about the plan to release her mother too. With Meredith asking to take Ronan, it was a relief, since at least he wouldn't be subjected to any potential rebuttal from her mate. However she knew if she kept the secret from Anders, he would undoubtedly panic and worry about his mate's whereabouts.

As much as Clarissa wanted to reassure Daisy, she found herself unable to come up with the words to do so. They died on her tongue the moment she thought them up, and her mouth seemed to dry up at the prospect of uttering an answer even she wasn't sure she believed.

"Then don't. Keep yourself busy," she murmured softly, throwing the stick into the fire and turning back to face her, "I'm sure they'll need some help in the hut with our own injured, why don't you see if they need you? After that, get yourself cleaned up. It'll be around lunch then and you can get some food. Then hand out some more tea and water to the others. Tate said food, not liquids."
 
For what seemed like the umpteenth time that morning, Daisy's expression clouded with concern at the idea proposed to her, her gaze settling back on the hut as her eyebrows knitted together. The last thing she wanted to do was inform her brother of all he had missed and raise the possibility that there could be another public argument between their alphas to witness - worse still, an argument he would be incapable of intervening into if he wanted to abide by Clarissa's wishes not to get involved.

She understood her reasoning for it, but if Daisy herself felt uneasy about sitting back and watching an argument take place between family members she loved dearly, there was no hope of Anders taking the news well at all - and even less chance of him actually obliging with it.

As much as she didn't want to disrupt the peaceful moment he was having with Teddy, particularly when he deserved the rest after the ordeal he had been through recently, she also couldn't fathom keeping him in the dark. For what it was worth, she wanted to convince him to stay out of things. It was either that, or watch him attack Tate again.

Tate was already injured from the fight with Meredith, his injuries not as extensive as her own but still enough to trouble him and cause him discomfort. The likelihood of him managing to fight Anders successfully was slim - especially when he had failed to fight him when he had been in full health. He had come out of that attack the worse off, sporting injuries that had made him feel weak and pathetic in comparison to his younger brother. He didn't need the emotional pressure of going through that again, let alone be dealt anymore injuries when he had enough to handle as it was.

"...He... He said no food, but... surely it was implied that he... he meant no liquids too, right? At least, he prob'ly meant just water, not tea--" She began once her attention drifted back to the other at the request. The idea of upsetting Tate and having his anger directed at her for breaking a deliberate command by her alpha was at odds with the desire she had to help those that were injured and in need of that kindness. She bit her lip hard in the effort to force herself not to get too upset by the decision she had to make.

"If I give them tea, and he finds out, won't he just get mad at you, though? Clar, this isn't right, I-- I don't think we should walk 'round on eggshells all the time, it ain't the way things should be. I'll give 'em tea, but just don't... tell him. I don't like hiding stuff but this-- the way he's been lately, looks like I gotta go sneaking around just to offer some people some human decency."
 
"Give them tea and water. If he asks why you've done that, tell him I told you to do so and you didn't know." Clarissa said firmly, not enjoying how worked up the younger girl was becoming. She gently settled her hands on Daisy's shoulders, giving them a tender squeeze, "Dase, breathe. I don't give a shit about him gettin' mad at me, alrigh'? It's the moment he starts yellin' at you or anyone else that I'll start to lose my shit."

She felt the exact same way as Daisy; not enjoying how they had to tiptoe around Tate when he was in these moods. Not to mention how she had to help control his anger after she had been attacked. Not just when they had the guy tied up and were interrogating him - during which Clarissa knew she had done some things she hadn't been proud of - but also when Tate had tackled the guy off her. She could see the murderous intent in his eyes.

Now, after speaking to Meredith, she was beginning to wonder just how wrong it was that they had attacked the other pack. It was awful that she hadn't even considered the fact that innocents had been murdered. Too busy thinking and worrying about her own pack members that had been taken. Then also satisfying her heat.

Another heavy sigh escaped her and she shook her head, removing her hands from Daisy's shoulders, "Don't worry about helping the others with our own injured. You just go get cleaned up and get some tea down your own throat, okay?" She hugged her quickly again.

Pulling back, she turned to survey the rest of the pack, thinking of what else needed seeing to. It seemed like everyone knew their jobs and their roles, and didn't need much guiding. Which was good for her, in a way, but then it also meant she wouldn't be busy overseeing lots of things at once. She needed to keep her mind busy, to distract herself.

"But like I said, tell him I told you to give them water and tea. Now go on, get cleaned up an' check on Anders. See if him or Teddy need anythin'. I'm goin' to... to see how the firewood is comin' along."
 
It would be two or three hours before the hunters reappeared from their hunt, carrying in their possession two deer: one a large stag and the other a smaller doe, certainly enough meat to provide for the pack that night and possibly tomorrow as well. Despite the pressures that had been on them and the fear that skulking about in those woods were the survivors from the other pack lurking ominously amongst the foliage to await an attack, the hunters had managed to successfully provide their pack with food and had reserved the right to sit down beside the fire and relax after putting in several hours of hard work.

The laughter amongst the returning hunters, the satisfaction after a good hunt that got the blood pumping and adrenaline coursing, wasn't a feeling that Tate could join in on. Usually, hunts were his favourite moments of the week; a chance to put his agility, stamina and strength to the test, and provide for the pack which he saw as primarily his duty. He enjoyed the camaraderie too; the bonding moments with the men and women that joined him, the satisfaction each and every one of them felt when they pinned down an animal and could proudly return to the pack with it.

But how could he enjoy his hunt when that morning's events continued to plague him? Every time it had slipped his mind, he would catch sight of some of the hunters huddled together and appearing in amusement and assume immediately that it was about what Clarissa had revealed to the pack - personal information regarding their private moments together. He should have joined in the laughter and made out like it was no big deal - hell, people would gossip to one another about their intimacy with their mates constantly.

But he never had any desire to engage in those topics because it was personal and special; a union between mates shouldn't be belittled in casual conversation as though it was an act to bring some pleasure and pass the time. It meant far more to him than that and so to have that information aired so carelessly, for his mate to make out he was pathetic for caring so much about people knowing... it naturally made him paranoid that the topic was now on the tips of everyone's tongues.

And so, the alpha reentered the clearing quiet and subdued, wanting to avoid any of the glances he assumed might come his way and, mostly, avoid accidentally locking eyes with Clarissa and feeling all the anger and annoyance he wanted to keep at bay. He had tried to move past his issues with her, hoping the distance for those few hours would have done them both some good... but the moment he glanced up and spotted her, he knew all at once that he still felt as intensely angry as he had when her words had first left her mouth.

Realising that the whispers he dreaded weren't going to cease if he avoided his mate like the plague, he build up as much strength as he could before making his way across to her with a smile. He was furious, incensed really, but he could put that aside whilst they remained out in public, amongst their pack members - he didn't want to cause another spectacle, after all.

"...We took our time, didn't want to go making a huge noise out in the woods in case the stragglers from the other pack were hunting us down," he explained as he reached down for the jug of water, pouring himself a cup with another quiet smile up at his mate.

"Look, about-- about earlier, we can discuss it in the hut on our own. I'm not ignorin' the hurt I caused 'ya, an' I hope you ain't gonna ignore the hurt you caused me either. But can we just ignore it until we get in the hut on our own, talk it over then to avoid gossip--" He murmured slowly, the tone eventually becoming so slow that it stopped entirely. His head shot up and eyes narrowed as he tried to work past whatever had come to mind, his gaze eventually settling on Meredith.

"...Why are you covered in that alpha's fuckin' scent, Clar? Have you-- did you fucking feed her? When I specifically told you not to? Why-- Why else are you covered in her scent?" He asked as calmly as his anger would allow, the desire not to cause another argument out in public currently stronger than the urge to yell and demand answers from her. "...Tell me the truth."
 
It was clear when Tate had arrived back that evening, because the swell of conversation died away before beginning again at a quieter level. Clarissa remained busy, transferring firewood from a collection sack to the stack near the small supplies hut they had, although her eyes briefly closed in anticipation of what could potentially come. She wasn't sure how the hunt had gone, or if he had managed to enjoy himself. All she knew was that she had worked herself hard in an attempt to forget about all that had happened that morning. Resulting in a blister or two on her hands from chopping wood. They would be healed by the time her head hit the pillow, so some paste and small bandages were all that were needed to just numb them.

It did surprise her to catch his scent on the wind blowing towards her, having not expected him to approach her upon his arrival back. She straightened with a slight wince, a hand pressing against her back as she stretched it out with a soft groan.

"S'fine. All was fine here. Didn't have anythin' to worry about." She murmured back, feeling stiff and tense despite his smiles, which were easily read as forced.

Her shoulders sagged as he brought up earlier, a heavy breath escaping her as she was actually grateful he mentioned it first. Another thing she hadn't been expecting, but was grateful for. Clarissa had expected him to be stubborn and ignore it, since bringing it up would only bring up the no-children thing again and that was what caused everything in the first place.

But the smile that had appeared, small and hesitant, slowly began to fade as his demeanour changed. Immediately the tension was back in her body, stiffening her muscles and tightening her stomach at the sound of his voice. Her head turned to follow his gaze to Meredith, fingers flexing nervously as she looked back to him.

"I haven't fed her, Tate. No one has. The only thing we've done is treat them and given them water and the tea with the herbs in-- you said nothin' about liquids. Only food." She retorted, moving to stand in front of him in the hopes of redirecting his attention, "Please don't fuckin' start. I'm covered in her scent 'cause you're the one that ripped up her stomach and the bandages needed changin'. Nice to know your first thought is me disobeyin' ya though. Real confidence boost righ' there."
 
"...You clearly had a nice fuckin' chat with her though, didn't 'ya? Bet she told you all the details from our fight, that I was the one to sink my teeth into her, right? Did you two bond over your current mutual dislike of me, Clar? That's cute. I thought airing our fucking personal business to the pack was the thing to hurt me the most today, but fraternising with our enemy? Sitting down for a cosy little chat over a cup of tea? That takes the biscuit, darlin', congrats."

The bitterness in his tone was hardly subtle but he made no effort to disguise it when he was furious. An embittered tone and severe glare was nothing in comparison to the outburst he wanted to let escape him; minimal when compared to the outrage he was eager to embark on just to get all the pent-up rage out of him before it hit its peak.

He at least tried to calm down as he exhaled a breath loudly through his nose, his teeth gritted together and jaw tightening as he worked through the waves of anger cascading over him, time and time again. Every moment he thought he had fought them back and got over the worst of it, another one would hit at the recalling of what Clarissa had said and done to irk him in the first place, thereby causing him to feel another injection of rage hit him and left to be inwardly dealt with.

But he didn't want to deal with it internally. He wanted to get it off his chest and take his anger out on someone. That someone wasn't Clarissa - as angry as he was with her, he didn't want to berate and yell at the person he loved when they had already had enough arguments that day to contend with.

Meredith, however, was someone he wouldn't feel bad about yelling at; not one bit.

"What did that bitch tell you, anyway? Did she really go to town in telling you how bad I hurt her? Trust me, she oughta be thanking me; I could have torn her right apart and not felt guilt about it. I stopped when I did 'cos I didn't wanna kill her; I figured that it wouldn't be useful to kill an alpha when she had answers for us-- did you at least ask her about all that? Interrogate her? Or do I gotta do that 'cos you were too busy chit-chatting?" He grunted dismissively, tossing his cup of water aside without consideration and turning his attention on examining Meredith from afar, teeth now grinding together as he willingly allowed his anger to rise without trying to restrain it.

"She gotta have answers so I'm gonna get 'em from her - if she ain't got any, she won't have dinner. I think that's fair enough, ain't it?"
 
Her lips parted at his explosive reaction, however she didn't find herself totally surprised. This was Tate, after all. He undoubtedly had that anger boiling beneath the surface and it had just been looking for a new, fresh trigger to set him off. She paused, taking a small step back as if putting space between them would help her figure out just where this had all come from.

"You... you have a real fuckin' nerve comin' back here and tellin' me what take's the so-called biscuit, darlin'." She retorted, brushing her hands free of bits of moss and dirt that had gathered there from collecting wood. "Boo-fuckin'-hoo that I spoke about our sex life in front of the pack," she hissed quietly, keeping her voice down this time so it remained between them, "Get over it Tate. They probably fuckin' hear everythin' anyway, the hut doesn't exactly have fuckin' thick walls."

She stared up at him, watching as he clearly attempted to get a grip on his unstable emotions, not enjoying how his eyes remained focused over her shoulder.

"You ain't goin' to interrogate her. What's the fuckin' point? You've won Tate, is that not enough? Is it not enough that you've scattered the fuckin' pack, murdered innocents who weren't even strong enough to fight? Just like my old village?" She demanded to know, fingers itching to wrap into the material of his shirt and pull him around the corner of the shed where they could argue with a lack of audience. However she knew the moment she laid a hand on him would be the moment he would see that as an act of dominance.

"What else is there for you to fuckin' know? You've got everythin', everyone, back. What else have you got to prove? You can stop bein' this big, bad alpha now, Tate. I, for one, am fuckin' sick of it. I'm fuckin' sick of these temper tantrums and I'm fuckin' sick of you thinkin' you can do whatever you want just because you're the alpha."

Then she realised that she had no need to heed his words about him being her superior. Because she really was an alpha too. By her birth right, she was the next in line to lead Meredith's pack. She and him were equals.

With that thought in mind, she dared to take a step forward, shoulders pressing backwards, "You ain't laying a single finger on any of them until you get your head fuckin' straight, and your emotions in check. I ain't about to let you murder more people just because your need for blood ain't satisfied yet."
 
"Oh-- Oh hold on, hold the fuck on. You're gonna go and take that holier-than-thou fuckin' mentality, are 'ya? I'm the bad guy for taking down an enemy pack - what, you reckon the power's getting to my head? One, it was a collective decision; everyone here had an input in what we were gonna do. Two, you-- you really didn't have many arguments against me heading off and taking 'em down, Clar. Don't stand there and belittle me, cast all this shit on the decision this pack came to when you and I both know how you reacted to me arriving back from that job; how much it pleased 'ya," he hissed under his breath, wanting to ensure the pack weren't witness to another argument. Like Clarissa, he was desperately trying to keep his voice low and his demeanour calm, however difficult both attempts were becoming to him when her words only served to light that flame in him again; encourage the growth of his anger and send it into overdrive.

After all, he thought she was being a hypocrite, chastising him for behaviour that he didn't think he was necessarily solely guilty of. He held the final authority on decisions as alpha and had sometimes had to put his foot down and use such superiority over those he cared about, but he preferred to come to decisions as a collective; as the team he was proudly a part of.

Feeling like the emphasis he had always placed on that community spirit was being belittled by the person he loved wasn't the nicest feeling in the world, and only ensured that if he was angry before, he was downright furious now.

"You weren't exactly bemoaning my choice. Far fuckin' from it, you were a huge supporter of what I went and did; you sure as hell weren't saying how dreadful I was when you enticed me into that hut and told me how attracted you were to me in that moment. I went and killed innocents, to use your words, and you barely cared less; you f-fucking found yourself turned on by it, don't stand there an' act like you're suddenly so much better than I am. I ain't buying that bullshit so don't you d-dare fucking try it with me, Clar. It ain't gonna work."

He exhaled hard, leaning against the hut behind him whilst taking a cursory glance over the pack. Most were tending to their duties now that they had the meat to prepare for that evening's meal, but he knew that they would probably be glancing up across at them the moment he turned away - and despite the lowered voices and whispers between him and his mate, he had no doubt that some were quite capable of overhearing the topics being discusses as they teetered into yet another full blown argument.

"Oh, and my temper tantrums? Mine? That's fuckin' rich coming from you, ain't it? The person that got so moody with everyone that it caused Anders to think you hated him. You're a fine one to talk about temper tantrums. Just-- the fact you think I'm some huge megalomaniac with a lust for blood is insane. You know that, yeah? You're actually insane."

Another intake of breath, and another quiet glance around the pack arrived in order to avoid peering across at his mate. At one time, he wouldn't have ever wanted to look away from her, so caught up in the blissful feeling of realising he loved and cherished her that he wanted to drink in he features every minute of the day.

Now, he couldn't stand to look at her face and the anger her expression would inevitably coax out of him.

"I-- I don't storm into scenarios without consulting my pack an' I certainly don't go killing for the fun of it. If anyone needs to be restrained when it comes to interrogatin' people, it's you - that guy we captured, remember him? His knee ain't ever gonna heal properly after you fuckin' slammed your foot down on it. I didn't do that; I didn't display a physical outburst of violence: that was all you, darlin'. The hypocrisy's really jumping out of you right now, ain't it?"
 
Her lips parted as she stared up at him, struggling to even keep her eyes on him. He clearly couldn't even look at her at the moment, and she was beginning to feel the same way. Guilt and shame and humiliation all clouded her mind as she fought to find the right words to retort back. She had found it attractive, scenting the spilt blood of their enemy on his skin despite the fact he had bathed before seeing her. It was that feral, innate part of her that purred at the mere thought of it again. But the human side knew better now.

"That's not fair-- you-- you know my mood swings back then were because of my wolf and the transition approachin'. You know I'd never've been like that if that weren't about to happen." She finally managed to focus, strengthening herself mentally and emotionally after being knocked for six. "If were such a great leader, you would have recognised the fuckin' signs."

However she couldn't help but wince at his brutal observation of how the wolf she had harmed wouldn't heal properly, eyes finally darting away from him. "A broken knee is a small price to pay if it meant keeping him alive." She muttered, sniffing and wiping at her nose harshly, "You'd've killed him, if it weren't for me steppin' up to do that shit. And don't bother fuckin' denyin' it, Tate." Clarissa then laughed, a bitter, humourless laugh but quiet to not alert the pack, "I'm insane, yeah-- yeah sure. Says the man who slaughtered an entire village just 'cause one human almost - almost - killed his brother. Yeah, you ain't a megalomaniac at all, darlin'... not at-fuckin'-all."

Taking in a deep breath, she closed her eyes and allowed her shoulders to rise and fall with the sigh. When she opened her eyes again, she allowed them to settle on him, a small shake of her head as they fell onto him.

"I'm learnin' from my fuckin' mistakes, Tate. I'm realisin' we should have handled things differently, 'cause that's what good leaders do. They reflect. They learn. They admit their fuckin' mistakes." She snorted softly, recalling what he had said earlier, "Enticed you... yeah... I fuckin' enticed you, if that's what you want to call it. But that's another fuckin' mistake I ain't about to make again. Which really, shouldn't have been made in the first place, since you should have fuckin' known better since you don't want kids." She knew she couldn't be blamed, it was her heat and if he had gone through half the shitty symptoms of it that she had, she was sure he would have done exactly the same.

With another heaved sigh, Clarissa scrubbed her hands over her face, taking her eyes off him for a moment, "You know what-- just-- just fuck off." She muttered, hands slapping against the sides of her thighs as they fell from her face, "I'm done with this conversation. I'm just-- I'm so fuckin' done." She told him, finally turning on the ball of her foot to show him her back and begin to leave.
 
"The-- The decision to attack that human village was taken through a collective agreement. If I'm a fuckin' megalomaniac for that, then go accuse every other fuckin' person who agreed, Clar. Go yell at Gio and Sasha for agreeing that it was a good idea; go find Daisy and scream at her that she's a megalomaniac for wanting to take that village out of the equation - or is it just me that's gonna get criticised for it, yeah? That's how it works, is it? I had a discussion with my pack, we reached a consensus, the majority agreed, and we went ahead with the plan - but I'm the one getting yelled at as if I had stormed into that dump and took every human down myself. You are insane, Clar; somethin' ain't right with your head if you're seriously gonna go ahead and judge me and me alone for this shit."

He abruptly stopped when realising that he was probably on the verge of just repeating himself. He wanted to hammer in the point that he hadn't had time to reflect on his actions and even if he did, he shouldn't be the only one to do so when the decision to attack the other pack had been a majority agreement; a collective discussion that ended with most in the pack agreeing that launching an attack was the only plan of action.

If he was getting so much criticism for his decision-making, then he at least expected the same energy to be shown to the rest of the pack who hadn't just agreed with him, but stood at his side through it all and headed into whatever battle he led them into. Being singled out for the criticisms wasn't entirely fair - especially when he didn't agree with the criticisms anyway; he believed he had done the right thing and stubbornly, he wasn't going to let Clarissa change his mind.

"Yeah, go on, run off and hide; avoid the conversation 'cos it's getting too difficult for 'ya. Go do what you do best and hide somewhere, Clar. The first impression I got of you was that you were a fucking coward; guess you haven't changed that much, huh?"

He knew the moment the words left his lips that it might have been a mistake. Much like how the guilt and regret had settled in after Clarissa's earlier word about their private time together, Tate found himself stuck in a moment of panic in realising how far he might have just gone. His first impression of his mate was seeing her hunched underneath her bed, terrified and scared for her life - using that against her now and calling her a coward wasn't... great. But they were words spat out in the heat of the moment; words that he wouldn't have said in any other circumstance.

Though obviously, he was far too stubborn to apologise when tensions were as high as they were. Rather, he toughened his expression to prevent his guilt from showing, glancing away just momentarily to take in the sight of Anders and Daisy near the fire, watching on in horror at the argument taking place.

"Just-- fuck off then, Clar; I don't need you to go and interrogate that alpha. I'll do it by myself 'cos I fucking don't need your permission to do that."
 
There was so much Clarissa could say in retort. She could call him a coward for not wanting to be a father. She could label him as spineless for not going against what his pack thought if things were a collective agreement. She could scream and yell at him in reaction to what he had just accused her of. But she couldn't do that, not after what she had done that morning in bringing up their personal business. Instead she went still, halting on the spot as his words washed over her.

Her tongue darted out to lick her dried lips, eyes closed against the memory he too had in the forefront of his mind.

Scared. Terrified. Accepting of death. A sewing needle as a pathetic attempt of a weapon. Finding her adopted sister murdered in the grass.

Lucy. How could she have forgotten Lucy? How could she have forgotten that someone she considered sister had been murdered by someone in this pack? That the family that raised her had been slaughtered because of the actions of one?

She took a few deep breaths, raising her head and hands flexing in and out of fists. There was so much she wanted to say. Hurt ripping through her chest. His words ringing closer to the truth of what she believed about herself than he probably realised. While she had a moment of strength barely seconds ago, his words reminded her of everything she worried and feared about herself.

That she wasn't who she was supposed to be. She wasn't strong enough or fierce enough or tough enough. That she would always be left behind on a hunt or a fight because she was incapable. Because she was a liability.

But as he called after her, voicing his intentions to interrogate the alpha, her mother, without her, Clarissa spun back around to face him. The idea of him, the fear of him, hurting another family member (blood or not) flaring a new found fire within her. She had forgotten about Lucy, she hadn't been able to protect the sweet little human she had called sister for so long... Like hell would she sit back and allow him to lay a single finger on Meredith again.

"You ain't interrogating anyone, Tate. Enough is fuckin' enough. You've done what you've set out to do. Fuckin' get over yourself and go fuckin' clean up." She told him, voice a quiet and deathly calm that she herself was surprised at. "I promise you, if you wanna interrogate or hurt any of them... You'll have to go through me this time. Fuckin' walk away."
 
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Having anticipated an eruption of anger in response to his below-the-belt remark, the silence he was instead met with ought to have come as a relief. In actuality, it only served to make him feel guiltier than an angry response would have because it indicated that his words had cut deep and hurt her. That hadn't been the intent - they had been spewed out carelessly without much thought being given to the inevitable consequences of speaking them out into the universe, but he couldn't deny that a part of him almost wanted her to be hurt.

The arguments, the back and for of warring words, weren't enjoyable but if they had to continue, he wanted to make sure she was hurt as badly as he was; to feel the sort of pain he was feeling from the criticisms and uncalled for remarks being thrown at him. It made him no better to perpetuate an argument rather than relent and apologise, see if they could work things out, but he was stubborn; he couldn't be the bigger person when instead, all he wanted to do was cut her down to make himself feel a little better.

The silence did anything but that, causing the guilt to twist uncomfortably within him until it physically made him grimace and lean back against the hut in an effort to compose himself before it became any more obvious.

"It's touching that you're protecting 'em so much. I mean, I just want information; track down that other fucking alpha who's out plotting an attack on us as we speak. I just wanna know where he's hiding, find 'em before they find us. But you keep protecting those bastards, Clar; nice to know where your loyalty fuckin' lies, ain't it? When I get massacred in my sleep and torn apart by a bunch of wolves looking for revenge on us, for our decision, I hope you can rest fuckin' easy knowing you could have stopped it if you let me do my goddamn job--"

"Don't, uh-- don't you think that maybe you guys should... stop this now? It's-- getting a bit-- personal," murmured Anders as the younger wolf appeared on the scene, having carefully handed Teddy to his sister to watch over when observing the arguments, with all the bitter insults, had become too much for him to take. He might have promised to stay out of things, but he hadn't anticipated so much anger to be imbued in their words. It was unsettling and unnecessary, and would only do more damage to their relationship than good. If he didn't step in, the stubbornness from both of them would have let things continue on longer than it needed to.

Observing his youngest brother, Tate eventually snorted dismissively and folded his arms across his chest. "Tell that to her, not me. Tell that to the person who, you know, was hurtful to you, Anders. Tell that to the person who doesn't care that you almost got killed by her fuckin' neighbours in that human village. I ain't doing shit; she's the one being the bitch, not me."
 
Clarissa found herself walking back to him before she could stop herself, returning to the spot in front of him and uncaring to the fact she had to look up. A fact she once enjoyed, having relished the feeling of being wrapped up in his arms with his chin resting on her head. Now it pissed her off because of the advantage it gave him.

"Don't-- don't you dare fuckin' question my loyalty, Tate. Don't you fuckin' dare." She breathed, voice trembling with the anger that filled it, "Even after everythin', after how you fuckin' terrified me the day you found me, after how you shoved me face first into a tree just to prove a fuckin' point, even after you took the one thing I wanted away from me... never have I thought about turnin' my back on you." Her voice lowered at the last part, wanting to make sure no one heard it since it wasn't common knowledge. Her eyes ran over him briefly before looking back at him, "I'm startin' to wonder if I'll ever get that same respect and loyalty from you."

She refused to tear her gaze away from him when Anders approached, shoulders quietly shaking as she kept in all the emotion she had to give at what he was saying. It felt as though he knew what to say, what would hurt her the most, and she wondered how he knew. But then, of course, it was easy. He was her mate.

Reluctantly she finally looked to Anders, briefly annoyed that he had come to interject. She cast a glance over her shoulder to Daisy before returning her gaze to Anders. She hadn't wanted either one of them to get involved. She explicitly told the young girl that. Yet she should have known better than to know that either one of them would listen to her.

At Tate's snort, she glanced back to him, shoulders hunching at the noise. Her lips then parted once more before her brow furrowed and lips closed to turn downwards. Her hand then raised, moving quick with the intention of landing a slap across his face.
 
"How am I not supposed to question your loyalty when you're not allowing me to do my job in protecting this fuckin' pack; when you're prioritising a bunch of our enemies over me gettin' information that could protect us all from an ambush? Don't stand there and bleat at me that I'm actin' cruel by distrusting 'ya when you ain't giving me a reason not to--" He began viciously, ignoring Anders' well-intentioned call for peace in the worst way possible - by acting more outrageously angry and allowing a bitterness to enter his voice, venom practically spitting from every word that came out through gritted teeth.

He was incapable of keeping his voice as quiet as his mate's, his anger inevitably causing his own pitch to rise in contrast. He didn't want another public spectacle, yet another argument taking place in front of a pack who needed unity at the helm and not dysfunctionality, yet who could he possibly remain calm when his blood was boiling? When Clarissa knew how to get under his skin and was doing just that, despite that probably not being her main intention?

She had grievances with him, like he had with her, and the consequences of airing those were annoying one another further, given just how juxtaposing their individual viewpoints currently were. There could be no peaceful consensus when they were both as passionate and as stubborn as one another, neither currently willing to take a step back and admit their wrongs in order to bring things back to a more civil, mature discussion.

He would have continued his ranting if it wasn't for the hand moving swiftly towards his face. Had he allowed himself to get distracted by the worry of being observed by his pack, the slap would have landed painfully and loudly against his cheek - though his focus on Clarissa allowed him to catch her wrist before contact was made. Any chance of being smug about it was slim, however, when the shock at her actions overrode any other emotion in him in that moment.

He could -and would- take anything she verbally had to throw at him, however badly words could hurt - but never would he be able to overlook and understand anything physical entering the equation. Even in his outrage, hitting her would never have been on his mind - so the fact it had evidently crossed hers wasn't something he could easily brush aside and waive off.

"...Did-- were you going to fucking hit me?" He blurted, releasing her wrist and taking a step back in order to gather his minds, a smile finally arriving on his face in complete disbelief.

"You know if I went to give you a slap, there'd be fucking chaos 'round here - for good fucking reason, it ain't okay-- insult me all you want, Clar. Call me a shit, say I'm power-hungry: whatever. But don't you dare go hitting me, that's where I'm gonna draw the line, alright? That shit isn't okay-- j-just fuck off outta my face, I can't fucking stand being around you right now--"
 
"Someone has to slap some sense into you. You've just stood there and accused me of not giving a shit about Anders or this pack. Don't you fuckin' dare ever say shit like that again. I was out there with you searchin' for each missin' member just like you. Doin' that rather than focusin' on workin' through my transitionin', remember? The thing you said you'd help me through? Yet you didn't even recognise any of the fuckin' signs, fat lot of help you were." She snapped back, tears welling in her eyes. But these weren't ones of sadness or hurt, but of rage. She would feel the guilt of trying to hit him later, but for now he had gone too far.

She swallowed hard, shaking her head," You want to though, I bet you do. You want to do something to prove your power as alpha, even over me, even now. Just like when you pinned me against the tree, just like when you held me down during training. You can't help it... You've always got to show you're in control. And-- and you know what? I would have preferred it if you did that. The physical stuff'll heal a lot quicker than any of the shit you've said to me today." She bit back, moving her hands behind her back just so they had something to do.

She wanted nothing more than to storm away, to head to the lake and cool off and just be away from him. But she couldn't. The moment she turned her back, he'd be over by Meredith making her life hell. Or Ronan's, for that matter. And she had made a promise.

Clarissa wished she could tell Tate what happened. That Meredith was her mother and that's why she knew nothing was going to happen. But now, just like Anders, she was worried about telling him... Because why would he believe such a thing?

This time she was the one to take a step back, still reeling from all that had just come out of his mouth. Perhaps she was a coward. Perhaps all of her anxieties were true. She wasn't good enough. It seemed clear to her that Tate thought as much.

"I shouldn't... Have to explain myself. I'm your mate, even if you don't... See me as your equal." Clarissa took another step backwards, hurriedly hiding the pain and hurt that briefly showed at her previous thoughts. Her expression hardened and she swallowed thickly, "I'm never going to be a Yes Girl for you, Tate. If you want one of those, then go fuckin' find one. Clearly it's somethin' you want."

Clarissa stopped herself from saying another further. Otherwise even more personal issues would have come out and it was all becoming too much.

With a final glance in his direction, she turned and this time walked hurriedly away, shoulders hunched and arms folded across her chest. She plonked herself down not far from their prisoners, back against a severed trunk of a tree, with the intention of keeping watch, and keeping her promise of trying to make sure Tate didn't do anything.
 
"Yeah? Well maybe I will; maybe I'll go and find someone who doesn't fuckin' criticise every move I make or air my personal business in public just to hurt me. Maybe I'll find someone who isn't gonna make my life a fucking misery, yeah? You feel free to find someone too, Clar; go right ahead. I'm dying to know if anyone else is gonna put up with 'ya 'cos I highly doubt any other guy is willing to deal with your bullshit," came the alpha's snapped response, his hands tightening into fists as he watched his mate reject storming off in favour of remaining amongst the pack. He knew all at once why that was, his eyes drifting to the captured werewolves in disbelief, finding her dedication to overseeing them and their safety genuinely bewildering.

His eyes naturally settled on Meredith who remained dozing against the tree trunk - if she had been awake to witness the furious interaction, there would have been no way she could have remained out of it. She would never allow her daughter to be spoken down to and belittled, and while Clarissa had given her own harsh insults, Meredith wouldn't have just sat back and accepted that they were both giving as good as they got. Clarissa was her daughter, her flesh and blood, her baby - she would never let her go undefended in any argument.

It was for the best that she had drifted to sleep, for obvious reasons. Tate might not have resisted transitioning and killing her on the spot if she dared to approach him with every intent to shut him up. It would never have ended well, so in the grand scheme of things, her remaining asleep was the best thing to have happened.

Tate contemplated waking her from her slumber and ignoring everything Clarissa had warned him not to do, but he didn't. He knew it would only perpetuate the argument further when it seemed to have momentarily reached a conclusion - and really, there was nothing he wanted more than to just leave and cool down in the lake for a little while. He couldn't stay around Clarissa, especially not after the recent exchange of words about finding new partners. He knew it was just a throwaway remark that he never wanted to act upon, but it still hadn't been the best thing for her to say, nor the best thing for him to casually agree to. He had to leave if only to avoid the awkwardness of that exchange alone.

"Don't-- Don't you fuckin' follow me, Anders. Keep your nose outta my business, got that? Quit-- botherin' me, just go care for that brat you've decided to ruin your life looking after. I ain't in the mood for your hangin' around me right now," he grunted dismissively at the sight of his younger brother approaching him, shooting him a glare to emphasise his seriousness before skulking down the decline towards the lake.

At the dismissal, Anders froze and awkwardly glanced around. He knew not to go against his brother despite wanting to make sure he was alright. He wanted to go and sit beside Clarissa to make sure of the same thing, but when he had ignored her demand not to interject, he couldn't imagine she would want to be in his company either. Mostly, he wanted to go over to Ronan and find comfort in his mate's presence but that was impossible too, leaving the teenager returning to the logs beside the fireplace and gently retrieving Teddy from his sister's arms, at least able to distract himself from everything going on with her.

"What are we gonna do about... about this?" Daisy whispered as she appealed to her brothers and Sasha quietly, biting her lip hard in discomfort at the tense atmosphere that had settled amongst the pack. "W-We can't... let them argue like this, they're hurting one another; it's gettin' real vicious--"

"An' what are we gonna do? Force 'em to get on? Ain't gonna work, Daisy. I sure as hell ain't fond of the idea of getting in that mess and having 'em both turn their anger on me. Nah. Let 'em figure it out themselves," shrugged Lyle as he stoked the fire quietly, only looking up to smile in response to Teddy's happy gurgles.

"...Gio? Gio, we can't just do nothing, right? I... I can't just... watch 'em fight like this, it... it's not right," the sister continued desperately, appealing to the second eldest of the bunch in the hope he would agree with her. "Sasha? You-- Your friends with Clar, right? You're real close, can't you talk to her o-or somethin'?"
 
"Lyle's right, Daisy. We can't just force them together. Hell, they were together freely an' they almost didn't walk away from it. Now imagine that in a situation where they didn't want to be together." Chester shook his head, agreeing with his twin on the matter.

The fight had been brutal, or at least that's what it looked like from the expressions on the two alpha's faces. Their voices having been too low and hushed so those near didn't have a chance of understanding what was being said. The atmosphere was palpable, thick and heavy with the tension and confusion lingering in the air. Pack members didn't understand why their alpha's were fighting. Hell, even the majority of Tate's family didn't know how the argument manifested. Of course they had played witness, but they didn't know the reason.

Clarissa had told Anders in confidence about the dream of being a mother being taken away from her, and she expected him to keep that secret dear to him.

"I-- I don't know, Daisy. I mean... we both know what they're both like. I don't think Clar'll be in the mood to talk to anyone right now." Sasha struggled with the sudden attention and hope that was placed on her. She could go and have a chat with her female alpha, but would anything she had to say be the right thing to say in that moment? "We-- we shouldn't go gettin' involved. You heard what he said to Anders. If your brother thinks we've been pokin' our noses in it..." She bit nervously at her lower lip, nestling into Gio's side for comfort.

The werewolf in question put his arm around his mate, pulling her tighter to him. It had made him think about his own time with Sasha. Of course the two of them had fought before, but never to anything as intense as what he had just witnessed between Tate and Clarissa.

"Is there somethin' that's goin' on that we don't know about? They... this all seems to have blown up from nothin'. All was good last night-- somethin' had to've changed." Gio analysed, free hand reaching up to scratch the back of his head, "Like... how could they have gone from literally bein' all over each other last night to... to this? I ain't seen a mated pair fight this bad, ever."
 
Lyle, Chester, Sasha and then Gio - all of them turned down the idea of intervening without hesitation despite Daisy's very obvious desperation to do something; anything to relieve the tension around the pack. As difficult as the situation was for both their alphas, the tension wasn't just going to remain between the both of them - any unsettlement would inevitably start to infect the moods of the pack around them, the uncertainty at the helm of the pack only going to spread amongst those who looked to them for stability and reassurance.

How could anyone feel stable and reassured when their alphas were at one another's throats, the anger, like electricity, crackling between them. Even if nobody knew the context of the animosity or what insults were being spilled, the demeanours and body language was more than enough to set tongues wagging - even if the gossip was in a place of genuine concern and worry for the relationship between two alphas who had, just the other day, been wrapped in one another's arms and confessing their love for one another.

"...W-We can't-- I don't want them f-fighting like this-- A-Anders, you-- you gotta know something, right? You and Clar a-are-- you're close--"

"I don't know anythin'. She doesn't tell me much about personal stuff, Tate doesn't like her revealing that. You know he's real private," responded Anders within an instant, having the lie prepared in realisation that he would eventually be the target of Daisy's appeals. He hated lying to his little sister especially when she was in such a state, but he had made a promise to Clarissa and nothing was going to make him budge from that.

Not even the sight of Daisy shakily pressing her fists to her eyes to stop the tears building within them being seen.

"I just-- th-they were so happy and Tate was-- the happiest I ever seen him, I... I don't w-want them b-breaking up 'cos he'll be sad and Clar will b-be broken over it a-and it ain't right. They love each other, that should c-come first, an'--"

"If they love each other, they'll figure it out, I... I'm sure it'll be fine. They were drawn together; they're mates. Mates fight but... but they get over it," attempted Anders as he forced back the urge to peer over at his own mate. All the bickering between the alphas had made him uneasy and he just wanted to have Ronan at his side, as he was entitled to be as his mate and the person he was destined to be with. One day he knew he would have to brave the backlash but now wasn't that time, obviously.

"Will they? I don't think they will - when has Tate ever been that mad a-at someone he loves? They could just... never get over whatever's upset 'em."
 
Sasha glanced across to Gio, sharing a look with her mate as his little sister seemed to be breaking down over something none of them knew how to help with. It was something none of them could control, nor was it something - obviously - none of them wanted to get involved with. Undoubtedly Tate would bite anyone's head off who did try to give their opinions, while Clarissa would most likely tell them to stop worrying and simply ignore what was said.

However, it was still hard to see Daisy reacting the way she was. None of them liked seeing the young girl as upset as she was, and it was clear the whole situation was hitting her worse than anyone else.

Sasha began to wonder if that alone would get Clarissa and Tate to sort their shit out. If them being aware of what it was doing to Daisy would get them to come together and sort out whatever it was that was coming between them. It was clear as day that their arguments were coming from something a little more rooted, considering how explosive and furious they both were with each other.

Exhaling heavily, Sasha shuffled so she sat besides Daisy, putting an arm around her shoulders and rubbing her upper arm, "C'mon now, Daisy... you... you know that that won't be the case. Things are just... tense right now, they've been through a lot in a short amount of time together. Things ain't... they ain't always goin' be sunshine and rainbows. They're goin' have these moments and... and... they're just goin'ta seem a lot worse because they're our alphas."

She looked up at Gio, clearly asking for his help in reassuring his sister, causing the male to clear his throat and turn to properly face his sister.

"Sash's right, Dase. You can't be thinkin' like that, it'll just eat you up and it won't even happen. Mates... mates fight, and like Sash said, things seem worse because of who they are and how visible they are to the pack. It'll be alrigh'... I promise."
 
"You reckon they'll be alright? D'ya promise? I-- I mean, I know you can't do that, b-but-- but do you really think they'll-- they'll get through this? 'Cos it doesn't seem like just some moment, Gio, it seems like it's real serious, but-- but I... I'm sure they'll work it out, they gotta. I can't sit back an' let 'em throw away their whole relationship over some stupid moment," whispered Daisy as she let a flash of anger show. After all, the alphas arguing didn't just affect them; it affected the entire pack, especially when the arguments were out in public and easily witnessed by every member of the clan.

They needed leadership at the helm; not dysfunctionality where their alphas bickered and were at one another's throats constantly. It was unrealistic to expect them to be happy constantly, but to fight as much as they were, and so viciously? Some of their insults made Daisy feel awful, and they weren't even directed to her, so she had no idea how emotionally hurt her brother and Clarissa were at being at the end of such vitriol.

Uneasiness was settling amongst the clan members and that sort of feeling was good for nobody - but Daisy didn't want to dwell on it. She didn't want to be tearful and upset; she wanted desperately to believe her brothers and Sasha when they told her that it was just a moment that would soon pass. It was just hard to accept that when Tate had yet to be clued in on information he, as alpha, ought to have known by now, like the relation between Meredith and Clarissa.

What he would do when he found that out was beyond Daisy's comprehension - but she knew it wouldn't be good; far from it.

Anders forced himself to stay out of the discussion as much as possible, not wanting to be drawn in and forced to divulge what information he knew. It was precisely that information, however, that caused him to display much less confidence in a reunion between the alphas than his family seemed to have. They weren't party to the details - that Clarissa wanted the chance to be a mother one day but was shot down in flames each time the topic was brought up, with Tate refusing to allow a conversation to take place, such was his confidence that never would there be a time when he wanted a kid.

How could they ever get over something that fundamentally they both disagreed on and live a life where one of them would inevitably be unhappy, whether that was Clarissa living without a child or Tate reluctantly seeing one brought into the world.

The idea that they might never truly get back to how they had once been made his anxiety spike, unable to help himself from peering over at Ronan in desperation to relax himself. It worked for a moment or two, the sight of his mate being enough to ease the worst of the pressure... but then seeing him tied up and still badly bruised, unable to be offered any comfort, inevitably made the quest for calm worse.

"...Tate's not here, he'll be down by the lake for-- at least an hour. Can't I go and give those guys some food? That-- That one needs something to eat, he looks pale," he eventually muttered as he peered back at his family, his eyes returning to Ronan to bring attention to his state. "H-He--He looks queasy, I think he should e-eat something now, he can't wait for dinner-- I'll take the blame if Tate finds out, I can't just sit here an' let some guy look-- look so faint, it ain't right."
 
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