A Review of 50 Shades of Grey

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Honestly, Sunstone is a much more advisable and a lot less triggery if you actually want to read a work containing BDSM. The plot is an actual romance plot but reasonably done (and complex characters), plus the artist's wife has a comic series in the same universe (no kink as far as I can tell) which is absolutely hilarious (it includes a voodoo doctor imagine spot done well). Reading them both at the same time plus the extra stuff they have out on their dA profiles is simply put: Fun. The characters are people!


As for 50 shades: I haven't read it and by the massive amounts of positive, negative and neutral reviews out there I'm gonna pass on reading the actual book series. It suffers from overdone purple prose disease and I once had to read two books suffering from that because of school. That was enough for my mind to go 'nope!'
Reading descriptive works is fine, you can learn about how much detail you can (and should) give out before it goes bad, but works that will be cut down to a third or fourth of it's volume if the descriptions are cut out? Eh, sounds like a first draft from NaNoWriMo that is in sore need of editing.
I'll pass, lean back and watch the discussions unfold.
 
I read all three of the books and the story COULD HAVE been really good if it had been written by a better author or if her editors had actually made her go through more drafts to polish the story before publishing. D:

Lack of researching the BDSM community aside, the problem is that she didn't know how to write the characters she wanted. >:[ All the focus was on the sex scenes. So her characters came off as an idiot and a psycho instead of the redeemable kinky romance.

Imagine if Anastasia actually had REASONS for being so insecure. And Christian DIDN'T display signs of being a serial killer. It could have been a great sexy series. >:[
 
I have been tossing hearts and cookies at nearly everyone in this thread.

Yes, Sunstone is a better representation of BDSM. Also I would love if for once someone didn't play it safe with the BDSM tropes. I have a lot of friends in the community, none are millionaires. You know how they get all their toys? Tax returns. That shit is expensive if you want quality stuff.

Fifty shades has already done harm- google any phrase close to "couple hurt mimicking FSoG". There have been a few.

I worry about the people getting involved without enough knowledge.
 
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The only and I mean only redeeming factor about this book entering the universe is that it's made so many people read again, ok they are reading practically illiterate text, and the plot has so many holes (oh kinky) but seriously it's lacking in research, subtext, plot, and development of characters beyond the usual clichés. However it's made some of my less well read friends actually pick up a book for the first time since leaving school, I've had to tweak their next choice, but I was happy that they felt the need to read again.
I read them only because it was a suggestion based off one of the romance series I read. (I think the recommendation was based on writing style, because both authors wrote like fifth grade girls)

The only reason it was so hyped up is because it's not the traditional Harlequin romance, and it was supposed to be based on something that is considered taboo. I'm not opposed to that, or the fact that they read it. What I think everyone, myself included is opposed to is the huge hype that the series had. It's basically shit wrapped up in pretty packaging. It's hard enough getting some women to respect themselves enough not to allow men to treat them like crap, but these books are essentially saying 'It's okay if your boyfriend doesn't respect you. As long as he acts all possessive and jealous, that means he really cares!' It's glamorizing an unhealthy relationship and people are gobbling it up. Relationships today are difficult as it is without throwing in some abuse disguised as love. @_@
 
I read them only because it was a suggestion based off one of the romance series I read. (I think the recommendation was based on writing style, because both authors wrote like fifth grade girls)

The only reason it was so hyped up is because it's not the traditional Harlequin romance, and it was supposed to be based on something that is considered taboo. I'm not opposed to that, or the fact that they read it. What I think everyone, myself included is opposed to is the huge hype that the series had. It's basically shit wrapped up in pretty packaging. It's hard enough getting some women to respect themselves enough not to allow men to treat them like crap, but these books are essentially saying 'It's okay if your boyfriend doesn't respect you. As long as he acts all possessive and jealous, that means he really cares!' It's glamorizing an unhealthy relationship and people are gobbling it up. Relationships today are difficult as it is without throwing in some abuse disguised as love. @_@
I completely agree with what you're saying above, it's incredibly frustrating, because if the topic was handled properly it would make for terrific literature and probably open people's minds about the lifestyle.
 
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I have been tossing hearts and cookies at nearly everyone in this thread.

Yes, Sunstone is a better representation of BDSM. Also I would love if for once someone didn't play it safe with the BDSM tropes. I have a lot of friends in the community, none are millionaires. You know how they get all their toys? Tax returns. That shit is expensive if you want quality stuff.

Fifty shades has already done harm- google any phrase close to "couple hurt mimicking FSoG". There have been a few.

I worry about the people getting involved without enough knowledge.
Now you've recommended sunstone it's going on my next download list.
 
The biggest problem I have with Fifty Shades of Grey is that is glorifies domestic violence and shows people everywhere that this is the kind of relationship they should strive for. Based on everything I've heard about the book and movie, including this review I read, Grey is a disgusting human, and Anastasia is your typical abuse victim (albeit much less complex) who tells herself lies to justify her staying.

I think that, much like Twilight, 50 Shades of Grey was written as a wish fulfillment sort of story. The author had this misguided fantasy in her head about what it was like to be involved in a BDSM relationship, was turned on by it, wrote it down, and some idiot who also had no idea what the real BDSM community is like and who has some intense misogyny and/or only wanted to make bank picked it up for publishing... and then a movie...

As far as fanfic goes, the characters seem - based on what I hear - to be pretty on point. You've got your controlling, stalkery douche who won't take responsibility for his own reactions, thus blaming them on the woman he claims to care for, and you have the woman who has no real identity outside the context of their co-dependent, abusive relationship. I read the Twilight books to be informed. I probably won't read 50SoG because I've suffered enough at the hands of bad writing, but when the movie comes out to either cheaply rent or to stream, I might watch it to be informed. It's only like... two hours, right? I might end up turning it off before it's over, but I like to be informed... even about badly written pieces of trash.

But back to the main problem. Here's an anecdote. When I was young, I used to find the creepy, bad boys super hot. The more possessive, the better. Then, I entered into an emotionally abusive relationship. It sucked. I was never happy, but I thought I loved him, and I thought he loved me. I'd never really seen anything else to let me know that I deserved better because almost every kind of relationship I ever saw was like this, including the one between my mom and her husband (in which she was the abuser, and because he couldn't stand up to her, he took it out on my older brother and me). Even after he dumped me, he kept coming back, and I kept going right back.

I didn't realize I deserved better until I found better (queue current boyfriend), but because he didn't treat me like dirt, I didn't think I wanted him at first. I almost missed out on an amazingly healthy, loving relationship because I didn't realize that was what I should aspire to have. I'd never been shown on TV, in movies, or in books that healthy relationships are the best. I always wanted the possessive, jealous, controlling asshole, and that would have left me involved in a lot more shitty relationships in my lifetime. Representation of healthy relationships in the media is so, so important. If people are going to portray abuse on screen, it should generally come with the caveat that it's not portrayed as something romantic or something to aspire to. Even if the rest of 50SoG was exactly the same, just having an ominous musical score could have given it the slant that tells people, "This man is not a dreamboat; he's a monster."

I've never been able to go back since I found out how wonderful a truly healthy relationship is. When the love interest is stalked for "her/his protection," it creeps me the hell out now, just as it should. I've learned to recognize when a person acts entitled toward their "love" instead of treating them like an equal, but it's still so incredibly rare to see a healthy relationship that I kind of cling hard to them when I find them. Rosalie and Munroe from Grimm come to mind. They're the pinnacle of health and communication and understanding. Healthy relationships are generally boring, but even the slow burn with many mountains to traverse can be portrayed in a healthy way. Just look at Felicity Smoak and Oliver Queen in Arrow. They've had ups and downs - currently experiencing a downward descent - but they still respect one another, and their communication with one another is so fantastic. They have chemistry, but Ollie doesn't feel entitled to her just because he wants to do the bam-a-lam. He respects her wishes and doesn't stalk her all creepy-like or try to sabotage her chances at finding true happiness just because he wants her.

However, in things like Twilight and 50SoG, you've got leading men who do their damndest to isolate their lady-loves from their friends and family, who won't listen to what they want, who stalk them, and who blame their lovers if they can't control their penises when around them, and that's a pretty typical way to portray a desirable romance in movies and the like, and it has to stop. Ever see the movie Fear with Reese Witherspoon and Mark Wahlberg? That is the appropriate tone to set for a dude who's getting possessive (from what I remember after watching it many years ago), not this romance-y aspire-for-this-people tone. Ugh...
 
However, in things like Twilight and 50SoG, you've got leading men who do their damndest to isolate their lady-loves from their friends and family, who won't listen to what they want, who stalk them, and who blame their lovers if they can't control their penises when around them, and that's a pretty typical way to portray a desirable romance in movies and the like, and it has to stop. Ever see the movie Fear with Reese Witherspoon and Mark Wahlberg? That is the appropriate tone to set for a dude who's getting possessive (from what I remember after watching it many years ago), not this romance-y aspire-for-this-people tone. Ugh...
I agree with your entire post. But that right there! That deserves something greater than love. Possessiveness is not being protectiveness, it's exactly what the word implies. The guy isn't being protective, he thinks that you're his property to do with as he pleases! Fear, Sleeping with the Enemy, movies like that, those are how the relationships in Twilight and FSoG end, not with a happily ever after. I think that most people who have been in an abusive relationship, and know the reality of it instead of what Hollywood is trying to cram down people's throats. Not many people realize exactly how dangerous movies like FSoG are. It gives any man in the world a free ticket to act like a possessive jealous douche a scapegoat. Now they can simply claim 'I was just trying to be like Christian Grey.' and not take responsibility for their actions.
 
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The most convincing romance recorded on film.

Also,

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Mister Grey will see you now, Mr. Wallace.
 
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I agree with your entire post. But that right there! That deserves something greater than love. Possessiveness is not being protectiveness, it's exactly what the word implies. The guy isn't being protective, he thinks that you're his property to do with as he pleases! Fear, Sleeping with the Enemy, movies like that, those are how the relationships in Twilight and FSoG end, not with a happily ever after. I think that most people who have been in an abusive relationship, and know the reality of it instead of what Hollywood is trying to cram down people's throats. Not many people realize exactly how dangerous movies like FSoG are. It gives any man in the world a free ticket to act like a possessive jealous douche a scapegoat. Now they can simply claim 'I was just trying to be like Christian Grey.' and not take responsibility for their actions.

It almost makes you wish the film makers changed the music to sound like a thriller to convey exactly how fucked up the concept is. What little I know about the story really makes it sound ten kinds of fucked up, and the fact it's passed off as romance is kind of unsettling because there's a lot of abusive relationships out there that sound pretty damn close to this shit.
 
The movie music DOES sound like a thriller though. O_O At least it does in the movie trailer. It STILL looks like it's going to be a movie about a serial killer to me...
 
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Apparently these are the first couple of drafts for the 50 Shades of grey script. No idea how legit they are but I would watch this.
 
It's written by a person who had way too many Twilight fantasies and spends their free time on Wattpad and Fanfiction searching for kinky porn. Considering that the main lead is boring as hell and is 100% intimidated by Grey the entire book (from what a few people who have read it have told me, and the snippets I've seen myself and then gagged over), it's both poorly written and is a definite shame to the BDSM community.

I mean I'm not against it's existence. As others have said before me: it gets people to read. Same with Twilight. But I hold issue with the abuse and how it's basically an insult to BDSM culture. The author isn't well educated at all and is just living out their fantasies in a poorly fashioned book. Make a porno book; I don't care. Just don't make it about abuse and maybe add in characters that aren't as flat as tissue paper, do some research, and then you can get away with it.

It's even nastier that woman dream of Grey (even married....) and that teenagers are going to go see this movie...
 
Let's try to not shame people who go see the movie, regardless of whether or not they like it. The only people who should be ashamed are the people perpetuating and romanticizing domestic abuse.
 
Well, I guess I should clarify. I find it nasty or disgusting because in our culture, they just see romance and kink. They don't see the clear issues with how it's being presented. Sure, it's not that explicit, but it's still there, and it teaches them that strong, possessive men that obsess over you, that hurt you but are "justified" in it, is totally okay, even attractive and desirable. Kink is okay. But expressing it in a way that is borderline abusive is not, and having young women exposed to this is just going to make rape culture, abuse, and abusive relationships worse.
 
That's still not something to shame them for. It's really challenging to unlearn all of the toxic ideas that are shoved into our heads pretty much from birth. It's not their fault that all they see is romance and kink, it's society's, and it's why it's soooo important to start showcasing healthy relationships as more desirable than abusive ones. The only way to eradicate ignorance is through teaching. Also, I want to add that it's equally toxic to expose men to the idea that they need to emulate Christian Grey and not just toxic to expose women to the idea that they need to be like Anastasia... er... I don't actually know her last name... But... yeah... No good for any human in society at all.
 
I don't really mean to shame them for it, just the fact that it happens and exists. But I do see your point.
 
The movie music DOES sound like a thriller though. O_O At least it does in the movie trailer. It STILL looks like it's going to be a movie about a serial killer to me...
Someone give Diana a movie about a serial killer. I think she's having a craving. o.o
 
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