A request.

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Curiose, Nov 21, 2011.

  1. As of late, I have been told different things from different people about my behavior on the forum, so I have decided to write a request to the certain individuals who refuse to discuss their problems with me:

    If I cannot know what it is that I am doing wrong, how do you expect me to change? If ANYONE on this forum has the expectation to change, how are they to do it if no one speaks to them regarding it firstly? Passive aggressive comments or remarks will not get me anywhere, and I sure think it will do the same for anyone else.

    I know that this may appear passive aggressive in its own right, but I would prefer not to target those who I feel have decidedly not come to me with their complaints, simply because they do not want to cause conflict, or appear snotty in some form. How I treat people is often times the way that I would expect others to treat myself, and I am more often harder on myself than any one person could be.

    My request, is that in the future, if you have a problem with something I am doing DON'T go around making comments, or posts, or blogs, or whatever it is you feel like doing and just come talk to me, or anyone else you have a problem with. I will appreciate it, and I am sure that anyone else would too.

    This request is not just for myself, but for all of the members of this forum. Passive behavior only hurts people more.

    I know my faults, and I am working on them. I only ask that people do the same.




    Disclaimer: I do not want people to become offended by this. It was brought up due to the past feelings of being alienated. I do not want to force people to change, but rather, look at their current behavior and in the future be up front with me.
     
  2. Well... >> You asked for it. This is all based on long-term experience and from personal observation.

    You told me that you hate people. And people can TELL that you hate people. You have an aggressive and condescending tone of voice when you talk to most people. That only ever vanishes when you're talking to your favorites.

    You are a Passive Aggressive Self Fulfilling Prophecy.

    You are blaming other people for your alienation. When you have a repeat problem, where no matter where you go and what you do and you ALWAYS end up in this same situation - it's not them. It's YOU. You come in hating everyone, assuming everyone will hate you. You then attack first. You'll be unapproachable, rude, snarky and one by one people will find your crazy too much to deal with, so they back off. Then you get to stand up and say THEY are the ones abusing you. You post a message like this trying to look like a martyr. Insisting that we're the ones not being honest, and that we all need to tell you how to behave. You're not taking any responsibility for yourself. I am willing to bet, if several people posted their "true opinions" you would probably get offended, mad at them, insist that they "don't know the real you", "don't know what my life is like" and that "I'm trying to be different". I am willing to bet that you have already talked to several people that have told you about how bad you can be, but you're still repeating this process looking for some sort of justification or excuse to blame anyone but yourself.

    You want people to "be honest", but no one wants to try to talk to someone that they know will turn around and bite their heads off or flat out ignore all of their advice. No one wants to start a big drama, get in to a fight, or have to help fix someone who is broken. Especially when a young lady they barely even know outside of the bitch-front she puts up to keep them -away- from her. People want to help people that are NICE and look like they WANT the help.


    I personally suggest that you stop pointing the finger at all the mean people of the universe and take responsibility for your own behavior. No one expects you to magically be a better person in one day. It took ME a couple years to get over a lot of issues. But they DO expect you to suck it up and handle your own business. If you want people to be nice to you, to be your friend, and talk to you like a human being, YOU have to do the same to others.

    You already know what your problems are, and have said you're working on them. So DO IT. This right here isn't working on your problems, it's putting yourself in a position so you can wallow in them more. e___e
     
  3. Well in this case, I do apologize. Thank you Diana.

    I don't often mean to come off as condescending, but I guess that can't be helped because of text. But. I will try to appear not to.