A Post On Tumblr That Deserves Attention

[catalyst]

Not sure if I posted this in the right place, but here's something to read and really just let sink in:

"I think tumblr has left a lot of us emotionally stunted. This is a great community for empowerment, catharsis, or coping, but those things aren't recovery in and of themselves. Comparatively, they're easy when compared to the painful self-reflection and real-world scenarios you'll have to encounter on the road to true recovery. Not only does Tumblr not focus enough on recovery, but there's almost a disdain here for the very notion.

There's a lot of time spent validating everything. "Your symptoms are valid! Your responses are valid! Your depression is valid! Your coping is valid!" Well, yeah, all that stuff is definitely valid, and understanding that is important step in recovery, but it's certainly not the final step. All that stuff is valid in the same way a baby chewing on a teething ring is valid, and there's nothing to be embarrassed about if your recovery is still in its infancy, but Tumblr almost encourages you to stay there, to never grow out of it.

There's a difference between what's valid and what's healthy, what's best for you. I recently saw a post that validated people who stay in their room all day. Is that a valid response to anxiety? Sure. Is it a healthy response? Hell no, and there isn't a person on Earth who can convincingly make the argument that the best thing you can do for your anxiety is to never leave your room.

Or how about those "how to care for a _________" posts? They've got some great tips there, and a lot of what they say is true, but you cannot reasonably expect people to coddle your issues, insecurities, or self-perceived inadequacies. Your recovery has to come from you. It has to be a difficult decision you make with yourself and carry through with because you need it. Your recovery can't come from hoping other people will validate you.

No one should be ashamed of where they are in their recovery process, but there's also no reason why you should be in the same place with your issues as you were in 2010.

Your final goal is not validation. It isn't empowerment. It isn't finding a way to get through the day. It isn't being comfortable with your problems, nor is it accepting that they'll never go away. The final goal is health. The final goal is happiness. The final goal is contentment. The final goal is recovery."

- http://dion-thesocialist.tumblr.com/post/56237796837/i-think-tumblr-has-left-a-lot-of-us-emotionally

Thoughts? I personally am like "Wow" because I've been trying to say this and get this across to so many people, but I've never had the right words to get it clearly across. I thought people outside of Tumblr needed to see it.

 

[determinator]

This does need more attention. Of course, how much it actually sticks into people's minds is another story.

Also wondering how much hatred he's getting for this.

Also, "there's nothing to be embarrassed about if your recovery is still in its infancy" is something I wish many people understood.

 

[Diana]

I like that post and the person who wrote it should get a HIGH FIVE!

Sadly, it's not just tumblr that is like that right now. We're presently in a time period where this is a big issue everywhere. Maybe it's that generation of people or this decade's theme, I don't know. ><

I think it's just the trend right now to use your mental/physical/social issues as an attention shield. On some communities it's going to be a bigger issue than others, depending on the kind of people it attracts. D:

 

[Disgruntled Goat]

I'm not a Tumblr user, but the message applies to so many people I know, both on and offline. It seems to me that, for a long time, any sort of emotional instability was frowned upon, as if it was a sign of weakness in the individual and it reflected on a poor upbringing from their parents/family/friends. People swallowed their sadness and forced a smile, just to get through the day.

Then people started talking. All of a sudden, it was acceptable to admit that you had problems. Depressed? Paranoid? Obese? Suicidal? Obnoxious? Flatulent? Great, get it all off of your chest because, all of a sudden, the world is full of people with similar problems and it's fine to have problems. There's no need to keep it all locked up inside of you, because there are loads of other people that feel the same way as you do, despite growing up in wholly different environments with wholly different families.

People are coming out with more and more problems/descriptions/terminology to describe themselves, and it's all getting a bit blurry. In terms of sexuality, there was hetero, homo, bi, and asexual, but now there are new types of sexuality, like hemisexuals and, once more, it's good because people are coming to terms with their own sexuality but are they moving on from it? There's nothing wrong with being hemisexual, and it's nothing that needs to be cured (so don't start stoning me, that's not what I'm suggesting) but with all these other new labels coming out and being accepted, depression and bi-polar disorder are going the same way. I know people that see them as things to be proud of, because they have "depressed" friends, or they themselves are depressed and have an eating disorder.

Everything is now empowering, because it's all so very acceptable and there's nothing shameful about feeling depressed, but all this acceptance creates a stagnant atmosphere. I'm not advocating a return to the ways of the past, but when something like depression was seen as a problem that needed to be "treated", then there was a sense that people needed to move on in their lives, and improve. Now, though, that need to improve the situation is gone, because it's all alright instead. Being depressed isn't shameful, but it isn't right, either, and people need to accept it first, and then work in adapting to it, and, hopefully, to overcoming it further down the line. I'm sure people won't agree with me, but if someone has been diagnosed with depression and, after two years of alleged "treatment" they haven't made any improvement at all, then there is something shameful there. The family, friends, medical professionals and perhaps even the sufferer themselves are to blame for the lack of improvement, because someone, somewhere is letting the sufferer down by not encouraging them to move on. Sometimes a bit of tough love is necessary, because a hug and a bowl of chicken soup won't cure everything.

 

[Sidhe]

I'm not a Tumblr user, but the message applies to so many people I know, both on and offline. It seems to me that, for a long time, any sort of emotional instability was frowned upon, as if it was a sign of weakness in the individual and it reflected on a poor upbringing from their parents/family/friends. People swallowed their sadness and forced a smile, just to get through the day.

Then people started talking. All of a sudden, it was acceptable to admit that you had problems. Depressed? Paranoid? Obese? Suicidal? Obnoxious? Flatulent? Great, get it all off of your chest because, all of a sudden, the world is full of people with similar problems and it's fine to have problems. There's no need to keep it all locked up inside of you, because there are loads of other people that feel the same way as you do, despite growing up in wholly different environments with wholly different families.

People are coming out with more and more problems/descriptions/terminology to describe themselves, and it's all getting a bit blurry. In terms of sexuality, there was hetero, homo, bi, and asexual, but now there are new types of sexuality, like hemisexuals and, once more, it's good because people are coming to terms with their own sexuality but are they moving on from it? There's nothing wrong with being hemisexual, and it's nothing that needs to be cured (so don't start stoning me, that's not what I'm suggesting) but with all these other new labels coming out and being accepted, depression and bi-polar disorder are going the same way. I know people that see them as things to be proud of, because they have "depressed" friends, or they themselves are depressed and have an eating disorder.

Everything is now empowering, because it's all so very acceptable and there's nothing shameful about feeling depressed, but all this acceptance creates a stagnant atmosphere. I'm not advocating a return to the ways of the past, but when something like depression was seen as a problem that needed to be "treated", then there was a sense that people needed to move on in their lives, and improve. Now, though, that need to improve the situation is gone, because it's all alright instead. Being depressed isn't shameful, but it isn't right, either, and people need to accept it first, and then work in adapting to it, and, hopefully, to overcoming it further down the line. I'm sure people won't agree with me, but if someone has been diagnosed with depression and, after two years of alleged "treatment" they haven't made any improvement at all, then there is something shameful there. The family, friends, medical professionals and perhaps even the sufferer themselves are to blame for the lack of improvement, because someone, somewhere is letting the sufferer down by not encouraging them to move on. Sometimes a bit of tough love is necessary, because a hug and a bowl of chicken soup won't cure everything.

I'd just like to mention that sometimes the lack of improvement in depressed individuals has nothing to do with them not trying hard enough. I've been suffering for almost 12 years, and have tried literally everything I can think of, aside from electroshock therapy (which I have been recommended to try by multiple therapists) and institutionalizing myself. I've been referred to as 'resistant to treatment' by multiple therapists in this point of my life. I still suffer; I improve every summer, and once late September hits, I'm spiraling back down into that hole. I think short of completely uprooting myself and moving to the equator - which is certainly not possible for me right now - I'm fated to become suicidally depressed every winter. My "regular" depression seems like a blessing, compared to that.

I certainly would not call making little progress in two years 'shameful.' There are different kinds of depression. I would never tell someone newly suffering from depression not to seek treatment for it, but these situations need to be judged individually. Even if someone is simply not ready to make the leap into recovery - because it is fucking scary just getting to that point - I would not call it 'shameful.' That's just not a word I feel needs to be applied to mental illness, regardless of what it is. No one should have to feel ashamed for it. You would not tell someone with a chronic physical ailment that it's 'shameful' they have not made progress in recovery for a few years. :(

 

[Disgruntled Goat]

I'd just like to mention that sometimes the lack of improvement in depressed individuals has nothing to do with them not trying hard enough. I've been suffering for almost 12 years, and have tried literally everything I can think of, aside from electroshock therapy (which I have been recommended to try by multiple therapists) and institutionalizing myself. I've been referred to as 'resistant to treatment' by multiple therapists in this point of my life. I still suffer; I improve every summer, and once late September hits, I'm spiraling back down into that hole. I think short of completely uprooting myself and moving to the equator - which is certainly not possible for me right now - I'm fated to become suicidally depressed every winter. My "regular" depression seems like a blessing, compared to that.

I certainly would not call making little progress in two years 'shameful.' There are different kinds of depression. I would never tell someone newly suffering from depression not to seek treatment for it, but these situations need to be judged individually. Even if someone is simply not ready to make the leap into recovery - because it is fucking scary just getting to that point - I would not call it 'shameful.' That's just not a word I feel needs to be applied to mental illness, regardless of what it is. No one should have to feel ashamed for it. You would not tell someone with a chronic physical ailment that it's 'shameful' they have not made progress in recovery for a few years. :(

Allow me to clarify something I said before, because I don't think I did a good job of explaining what I meant.

I'm not looking to solely heap shame on the person suffering from depression if they haven't made progress over two years. What I meant is that, if someone isn't making progress, then there's usually a reason for it. They either aren't getting the right support from family/friends/medical professionals to help the individual move on, or, if they themselves would rather wallow than move on to a better place. In the latter, yes, I'd say the sufferer is responsible, but in the former, then the shame lies with the sufferer's support network for not doing its job, whether it be parents that dismiss the cry for help, or doctors that aren't interested enough and think some pills will do when a person really needs someone to talk to.

Perhaps, though, "shameful" was the wrong word to use. I wanted to make the point that people are so keen to empower everything (including mental illness) that no-one seems to be as concerned about progressing with it now. As if "accepting" someone's depression is the end of the situation, when it's really just the start.

 

[A_Veiled_Mask]

This takes me back to the thought that there's always those in need of help and treatment for depression, mental illness and a wide spectrum of things. As has been stated, there's nothing wrong with admitting help when combating such battles. You're looking at something where there's so many different avenues people take when trying to confront the issue, some producing results and others not finding the answer or treatment they desperately need.

Encourage, give advice, lend a helping hand and try to paint a picture of what you think one has to work on when dealing with such things. A therapist can only get so far, and can be the shoulder needed when expelling such heavy burdens of the heart and equip those with the proper medications that will ease some of the contributing problems. Some patients could experience an improvement while others still struggle which could be a tall tale sign that there's something else going wrong in one's health. Depression can sprout from a physical aliment, like hypothyroidism, certain medical conditions play a huge role in a patient developing things that might not be even connected with anything mental but more of an imbalance.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, there are SO many things that will spark off a person's cry for help and they should never be scorned or singled out, because it's true everyone has that one thorn to their side that will reoccur throughout one's lifetime. It's just about learning to equip oneself with the knowledge of the triggers and go great lengths one can go to avoid the severity of those issues that arise. Always seek advice, always keep an open mind and never say it's final that there's no hope because there always is.

On the opposite side of that you have the people who seem to make it the sadistic policy of claiming, "depression, bi-polar, homeless" whatever the issue, and relish in the attention and pity-me act. We're living in a time where attention is a forever seeking thing and when a certain portion of people don't get it, they'll derive their own perception of how they can get it. To do whatever it takes even faking their way to the top. I've seen it happen with people I've known, and there's nothing left but tough love to hopefully wake them from their delusions.