A Method To Help Be More Positive

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Minibit, Aug 26, 2013.

  1. I've used this to pull myself out of prolonged cases where I felt angry,depressed, sad, worthless, lethargic, anxious, and generally negative. It's pretty simple:


    Say whaaat? That won't work, it's way too simple; depression can't be cured just by scribbling down some trivial little goodies.

    You're right. It's not that simple; so here's the rules that help it work.

    1 - You have to WANT a more positive perspective
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    I really can't stress this enough. If you go into anything with a negative attitude, chances are you'll come out with one.
    Having a more positive outlook also doesn't mean you're ignoring your problems, or running away from them, or that you're delusional or stupid. It just means choosing not to let the negative run your whole life. You can care about and deal with problems while focusing on the positive; in fact, people are MORE productive when they're happy!

    2 -Do it Daily
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    This is not something that will work after a day, or three days, or even a week. The point of it is to train you to look for positive things in your day, no matter how small, and over time to have you focus on those things more than the negative things. Do it every day and commit.

    3 - Avoid using more than one or two entries on other people
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    Using 'I have a great friend in Suzy' is a good entry, but don't devote your whole list to writing about how awesome OTHER PEOPLE are; this is supposed to help you feel better about YOU and YOUR life! Having good friends or a considerate GF/BF or a supportive family is wonderful and great to record, but make sure the majority of your list is about you specifically.

    4 - Avoid using terms like 'but'
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    "I figured out what to get my brother for his birthday, but he probably won't like it" is not a good entry! First off in this example it's baselessly predicting that the present will not be a success. You figured out a present; focus on that. "I got a new dress today; I'll be happy if it gets noticed". IF is also a bad word; again, the point is to focus more on POSITIVE outcomes. Avoid adding things on to your entries that negate them.

    5 - There are no 'not positive enough' things
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    Don't stop recording or skip a day because you feel like nothing that happened was good enough.
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    • Trying something new
    • Running into a friend
    • Feeling good after a shower
    • Nice weather
    • Surviving a shift at work or a day at school
    • Beating your high score
    • Reading/seeing something cool/funny on the internet
    • Doing something nice for someone
    • Having a yummy snack
    • Waking up on time
    • Completing chores
    • Finally getting around to that thing you've been meaning to do
    • Hearing your favourite song on the radio
    • Exercising
    all count! You can also give yourself treats to help make your day more positive; pick up a snack with your groceries, call a friend to hang out, take a nap, have a bubble bath, spend an extra hour on your favourite game, go for a walk, be proactive!

    This isn't a panacea for clinical depression; that takes a lot of work and more often than not professional counselling and the unending support of friends and loved ones. But it can help you stop feeling sad most of the time. It can help you stop getting pissed off at little things on a daily basis.

    Well... do any of these apply? If so, you may benefit from trying this :)
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    - Most of my conversational topics are rants, venting, or complaining
    - I regularly get annoyed at inconsequential things like how other people wear their clothes, other people's grammar, tiny messes around the house, not getting my hair right, etc.
    - I haven't tried anything new or made plans to go out in a while because I predict that I won't enjoy it ahead of time
    - I avoid people because I don't want to bring them down by being around
    - I have a hard time viewing anything I do as important or significant
    - I frequently debunk motivational posters and quotes when I see/hear them
    - I often think of myself as inferior in some way to the other people in my life

    So, try recording 5-10 things every day that were good. You can post them here, or keep a private journal. Nobody here is going to judge or make fun of you if you want to post them here.
    Sometimes it helps to vent for a bit, or step back and take a shower or a nap before recording, to refresh your perspective and let off some steam, but make sure you take some time to note the good things, even if they seem puny or stupid at first, over time you'll learn to notice more and more of them
    • Love Love x 1
  2. This is excellent advise. I'd also like to add something that made my life much easier: When dealing with others, never attribute to malice what could be caused by stupidity.

    90% of people are well-meaning idiots, and your day is screwed up because one of them did something wrong or didn't think about what they were doing, not because they're intentionally screwing you over. In fact, it's a huge minority of people that go out of their way to make other people unhappy. For the most part we are social creatures and we like it best when everyone is smiling.

    I used to have a really negative outlook on other people. It kind of came to a head my junior year when the chief (a teacher) of my ROTC unit decided that armed drill team needed another practice day. When did he schedule it? Wednesday, the only academic team day. As academic team leader, I was pissed. Had my entire rant planned out and I was going to absolutely give it to the armed drill team leader (a student) since I could actually unload on him. Talked it over with my boyfriend (who graduated the year before) and he politely told me to pull my head out of my ass. As it turns out, our Chief was just being retarded and didn't realize we shared five team members, and the armed leader didn't even want another practice since he had to work on Wednesdays anyway. :/ It kinda drove the point home for me. No one was trying to take away my team (my preciooouus), they were just being generally stupid & inconsiderate.
    I've pretty much assumed everyone around me is nice but incompetent since then. It's served me well.
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    In fact. Going to do this again cause I need it!


    - I figured out something interesting about a roleplay character today! 8D

    - I was given some new books to read!

    - My nails still look pretty even days later. :3

    - Putting stuff in a new wallet is fun!

    - I washed dishes and clothes! Yaaaay!
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  4. Shuddup Diana, I'm doing it.

    1) Made one badass cup of coffee.
    2) Got the brakes just right on my bike.
    3) Got thanked by a customer.
    4) ASD server updated and ready for action. (And the keyboard is now clean >=O )
    5) Broke Diana's brain with a mental image. 8D

    6) Realized this is just a trick to get people looking for positive things and used to doing so. It's habit building.
    #5 Vay, Aug 28, 2013
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2013
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  5. 1. Some random dude on another motorcycle complimented my motorcycle today.
    2. Python is waaaay easier than C++
    3. A cute girl smiled at me so I decided to try and chat with her for a bit.
    4. I'm steadily improving at drawing.
    5. Found a digital copy of a textbook to use while I wait for my physical copy.
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  6. Mine for today!

    1 - Got a new charger and my DS is powered up again!
    2 - Evolved a Kingdra - my favourite dragon-type; woo!
    3 - Only two days left at my job!
    4 - Delicious polish sausage for dinner
    5 - I can sleep in tomorrow
    Bonus #6! Boyfriend is bringing his friend over and we're gonna play Tales of Xillia together
  7. 1. Poets of the Fall is endlessly inspiring for character ideas. >>

    2. Just a couple chapters in and I fucking love this book. Not sure if I am going to get sleep. D:

    3. Watching people handle idiocy like pros is totally boss!


    5. I love it when people do the exercises and challenges! It makes all the hard work worth it!
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  8. 1: Got complimented by my boss! :D
    2: I got to go home early today~
    3: I found that I am surprisingly good at drawing rabbits o.o
    4: Reading Rainbow theme song became available on Smule!
    5: SHINEY PURRLOIN! AWWW YEAH~! First met Pokémon too~
    • Love Love x 1

    1. That moment you and a roleplay partner fall in to the perfect setup without prior plotting or planning!
    2. Pressing buttons on things. I like pressing random buttons!
    3. Owls!
    4. Stupid facebook games!
    5. Cats doing hilarious things!
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  10. ERMAGERD. They so are! XD
  11. 1. A good friend of mine moved up to Halifax!
    2. I have a new sketchbook!
    3. KoA: Reckoning is addicting. ._.
    4. Got my Grooveshark all set up for gaming
    5. I have an interview on Thursday!
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  12. 1- there was a mudshake left in the fridge!
    2 - my bro really liked his birthday gifts
    3 - Sunday morning cuddles :3
    4 - I look GOOOOOOD~
    5 - found my favourite hoodie!
  13. 1 - day off!
    2 - caught all the Unown!
    3 - already have cold medicine in the house, no need to purchase any
    4 - free healthcare; woo Canada!
    5 - mom liked the eyeball cupcakes I made her
  14. 1) Ironically, lashing out and frequently denying I had a problem made me realise I have a problem. Emailing the college counsellor as we speak - nobody but me, a professional, and nobody I'll meet out of the forum have to know.
    2) I joined the debating society and there's a strong possibility we may discuss an issue I brought up, which is highly topical and is likely to evoke strong reactions.
    3) I managed to introduce myself normally and without stuttering, instead of with a dead baby joke and with me stopping and starting like a radio with bad signal.
    4) I managed to bring up me cosplaying at Birmingham in November and me buying Animal Crossing, and nobody seemed to mind.
    5) I made this list instead of denying that anything worth putting on here ever happened. I probably won't keep this up, but me actually posting something positive for a change is something momentous for me.
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  15. #1 free healthcare! (Never stops being epic)

    #2 absolutely ROCKED lunch rush even with a line out the door

    #3 Got medicine and doc says I should feel better once I've gone through it!

    #4 got 4 Pokemon closer to a living pokedex!

    #5 got caught up on a bunch of stock at work (we were really low, it's a big deal)
  16. 1 - Watched LOTR today; always makes me happy
    2 - My new schedule has more hours
    3 - Got a few more christmas gifts bought
    4 - My car is ready for winter on time
    5 - My trip to Australia is definitely financially possible at this point
  17. Part of this is from yesterday.

    1- I successfully talked a friend out of suicide yesterday, and now she is seeking the help she desperately needed. I am not looking for recognition for anything other than being a friend, and that she made the decision not to make the biggest mistake of her life. It seems a bit oddly timed after my recent run in with suicide, only this time it had a happy ending.
    2- I was able to get not only one piece of work done, but two
    3- I am alive and well
    4- I have managed to obtain a very sound peace of mind since last year
    5- My cat Molly, is turning 9 in December. What am i getting her? This:


    I know it's a dog bed but it beats the box with my baby blanket in it and frankly it is hilarious
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  18. Omg cuute!!
  19. 1- I got the shit scared out of me by a child in my youth group crawling live Gollum. Heart check; still alive
    2- I found out that i have read over 300 books in my 21 years of life (if not much more)
    3- I acquired dinner for the next two nights
    4- I finally nailed my fursona (like got him to be just what i imagine myself as if I were a meerkat)
    5- Iwaku
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