- Posting Speed
- 1-3 posts per day
- One post per day
- Online Availability
- Idefk at this point
- Writing Levels
- Adept
- Advanced
- Prestige
- Preferred Character Gender
- Male
- Female
Hey guys! Uh, little awkward, but I guess I'm kinda back?? I never left the site, I just RP'd with like one or two people for like months, and I still am LOL I just felt like venting out the past 5 months, talk about life, what the future has in store for me, etc. If you are nosey like me and LOVE reading about peoples personal lives, spilling the tea, giving advice, then read on! BUT if you're just here to look at one tag specifically, I'll color code each paragraph LOL
Advice Wanted-
So, I know I'm not the most popular user on Iwaku, but advice would sure be lovely lol I just graduated high school like...2 weeks ago XD and I really don't feel any different besides blocking a lot of people from my school and working lol It felt really good though to block people on social media, it felt good knowing the next day they wouldn't walk up to me and ask why I blocked them..Because they can't cause we are done with school and probably won't see each other ever again XD (Never mind I will probably see alot of my old class mates cause I live in a small town and I see at least 3 people from school every where I go) I'm honestly just waiting for my brain to finally process that this is not a drill and that the day that I thought would never come finally came, that I graduated and I'm done with public school! I love my house and I love my city, its small but not in the back woods, it's cozy and has a lot of history, but sadly I'm moving in likea couple of weeks...And it breaks my heart. I was born in this city, but we moved when I was about 9 cause my dad's job transferred him, but then Me, my brother and my mom moved back when I was 11 after my parents divorced. We lived with my grandparents because my mother couldn't afford to get a house just yet, but then about 6 months of living with my grandparents, we moved down the street from them, and have been living here for almost 7 years..And the fact that we are leaving really hit's home. This place was my refuge after the divorce, my safe place, my haven. Its a super tiny house but it's cozy and sweet, theres no creepy long hall ways or scary back rooms. Sure some creepy shit has happened here, and there are lots of memories of me contemplating alot of things and being sad...But it's where I got my drivers license in the mail, where I learned to play violin, where I learned to draw, where I brought my first boyfriend home, where many other boys have picked me up from to go on dates, where my best friend of over 6 years always came over to, where I realized who I was and who I want to become. This is my home and the fact that I have to leave it behind hurts my soul..I just need advice on how to deal with all of this. I've moved alot, but the other times never hurt this much..
Advice Wanted
Another thing that I suck at and need advice on is my love life. HEY HEY. I can already hear you Red stars, you elder and wise red stars talking down to a little blue star like me saying "YoU DOnT NeeD LOvE U R Toooooo YOUng" And I get that. I really do. I don't need it. I've been single for almost a year and a half and honest to god it's been the best year and a half of my life! I am more independent, I feel free to do as I wish, I am going to college soon, life is good. BUT I get lonely. I miss being wanted, I miss being smiled at, being held, being kissed, being some ones whole world. I have a soul mate, my best friend. She completes me in ways that no one ever has, but we both know what I mean when I say I miss those things. My problem is when I do find some one. Within this year and a half, I have gone on I guess a couple 'dates' with three guys, and two guys lived far away but we talked. But for all those guys I just...Blocked myself off. It's like the first two weeks I was all in, 100%, head over heels, excited, happy, eager to see what was next..But then It was like my brain just flipped a switch. The next day I DESPISED them. When they'd text I'd get nauseous, when they tried to call I'd hesitate. My brain would pick out their flaws and magnify it by 1000, and ultimately make me hate them. Ex. "Oh yeah I work full time at -fast food restaurant- I don't drive, and I want to go to college but I don't know what I want to major in." But to my brain that meant "I work fast food, I have no desire to get my license and have that responsiblity, and I have no ambition to better my mind and get a degree, meaning I don't want to become more mature and live a better life, and I'll end up a dead beat who is lazy" LIKE ISNT THAT FUCKED UP??? AND THATS MY BRAIN AND I FUCKING SUCK LIKE A WHOLLLLEE LOT. I hate myself for what I do. I try to fight it, its a mental battle all the time. It's like my head and my heart are just on ends with each other. One wants to accept peoples flaws and under stand them , but my brain wants to be logical and picky. I just need help identifying what is wrong with me. My best friend says that maybe my brain is spotting there are things wrong with the guys I meet and is trying to save me the heart ache later on, but my heart is taking it personally...I just don't know. I know this one will probably get lots of negative advice, like I'm shallow or that I'm just picky and can't accept those and think I'm above them...But I'm hoping some one will understand what I'm feeling and give me and answer that can make sense but won't spare feelings. If it helps I was madly in love with some one for 2 years of my life, it was long distance but I connected with him on a emotional and mental level, and we broke up pretty brutally, and I think I am still getting over it...If that helps ya'll with answering.
Rant-
You know whats crazy to me? The fact that I can't find a job I am passionate about. I'm still a teen, I know, and my options are thin because I don't have work experience or cause I'm not qualified, BUT WHY DOES THAT MEAN I HAVE TO WORK AT A SHITTY HARD WARE STORE/ FAST FOOD/ RETAIL???? It's like I am told to branch out and look into jobs that won't make me have a mental break down, but when I apply, I get that dreaded ; "Hello Mindy! We were so happy to have received your application and interest in our company, but sadly, you do not meet the criteria, being -" And that's when they fill in with all the shit I as a teen ager can not fulfill because I haven't been alive as long as others or cause they don't think I can handle their shit. NEWS FLASH OLIVE GARDEN I DONT NEED AN ASSOCIATES DEGREE AND TO BE OVER 18 TO WALK PEOPLE TO A TABLE, HAND THEM MENUS, AND SAY " Enjoy your meal!" LIKE ?????? I just don't get it. And I'm starting college in the fall and I have no fucking clue what I'm doing, no one in my family has been to college so I can't go to any one with questions, and I feel so alone and in the dark about everything. I'm trying to save up money but I love it so much, so I got a jar and super glued the top on it, cut a super skinny hole at the top so when I put money in it I can't get it back out, which is INSANE of me to do that I have such little self control but I HAVE TO DO IT IM OUT OF CONTROL AND WILL SAY ITS AN EMERGENCY BITPQDJDCBOQIWDCQ0WPH I dont even know, I'm just splurging.
Wait....You actually read it all??? NO YOU DIDNT YOU LITTLE LIAR YOU SKIMMED IT AT BEST!...Wait seriously? If only I could give hugs through computers XDDD If you really read all of that I am v proud of you, and I thank you for taking the time out of your day to stop by and read about my problems LOL I hope only the best for every one on this site, spread love and hope, not hate, and hope you all have a great day <3
Advice Wanted-
So, I know I'm not the most popular user on Iwaku, but advice would sure be lovely lol I just graduated high school like...2 weeks ago XD and I really don't feel any different besides blocking a lot of people from my school and working lol It felt really good though to block people on social media, it felt good knowing the next day they wouldn't walk up to me and ask why I blocked them..Because they can't cause we are done with school and probably won't see each other ever again XD (Never mind I will probably see alot of my old class mates cause I live in a small town and I see at least 3 people from school every where I go) I'm honestly just waiting for my brain to finally process that this is not a drill and that the day that I thought would never come finally came, that I graduated and I'm done with public school! I love my house and I love my city, its small but not in the back woods, it's cozy and has a lot of history, but sadly I'm moving in likea couple of weeks...And it breaks my heart. I was born in this city, but we moved when I was about 9 cause my dad's job transferred him, but then Me, my brother and my mom moved back when I was 11 after my parents divorced. We lived with my grandparents because my mother couldn't afford to get a house just yet, but then about 6 months of living with my grandparents, we moved down the street from them, and have been living here for almost 7 years..And the fact that we are leaving really hit's home. This place was my refuge after the divorce, my safe place, my haven. Its a super tiny house but it's cozy and sweet, theres no creepy long hall ways or scary back rooms. Sure some creepy shit has happened here, and there are lots of memories of me contemplating alot of things and being sad...But it's where I got my drivers license in the mail, where I learned to play violin, where I learned to draw, where I brought my first boyfriend home, where many other boys have picked me up from to go on dates, where my best friend of over 6 years always came over to, where I realized who I was and who I want to become. This is my home and the fact that I have to leave it behind hurts my soul..I just need advice on how to deal with all of this. I've moved alot, but the other times never hurt this much..
Advice Wanted
Another thing that I suck at and need advice on is my love life. HEY HEY. I can already hear you Red stars, you elder and wise red stars talking down to a little blue star like me saying "YoU DOnT NeeD LOvE U R Toooooo YOUng" And I get that. I really do. I don't need it. I've been single for almost a year and a half and honest to god it's been the best year and a half of my life! I am more independent, I feel free to do as I wish, I am going to college soon, life is good. BUT I get lonely. I miss being wanted, I miss being smiled at, being held, being kissed, being some ones whole world. I have a soul mate, my best friend. She completes me in ways that no one ever has, but we both know what I mean when I say I miss those things. My problem is when I do find some one. Within this year and a half, I have gone on I guess a couple 'dates' with three guys, and two guys lived far away but we talked. But for all those guys I just...Blocked myself off. It's like the first two weeks I was all in, 100%, head over heels, excited, happy, eager to see what was next..But then It was like my brain just flipped a switch. The next day I DESPISED them. When they'd text I'd get nauseous, when they tried to call I'd hesitate. My brain would pick out their flaws and magnify it by 1000, and ultimately make me hate them. Ex. "Oh yeah I work full time at -fast food restaurant- I don't drive, and I want to go to college but I don't know what I want to major in." But to my brain that meant "I work fast food, I have no desire to get my license and have that responsiblity, and I have no ambition to better my mind and get a degree, meaning I don't want to become more mature and live a better life, and I'll end up a dead beat who is lazy" LIKE ISNT THAT FUCKED UP??? AND THATS MY BRAIN AND I FUCKING SUCK LIKE A WHOLLLLEE LOT. I hate myself for what I do. I try to fight it, its a mental battle all the time. It's like my head and my heart are just on ends with each other. One wants to accept peoples flaws and under stand them , but my brain wants to be logical and picky. I just need help identifying what is wrong with me. My best friend says that maybe my brain is spotting there are things wrong with the guys I meet and is trying to save me the heart ache later on, but my heart is taking it personally...I just don't know. I know this one will probably get lots of negative advice, like I'm shallow or that I'm just picky and can't accept those and think I'm above them...But I'm hoping some one will understand what I'm feeling and give me and answer that can make sense but won't spare feelings. If it helps I was madly in love with some one for 2 years of my life, it was long distance but I connected with him on a emotional and mental level, and we broke up pretty brutally, and I think I am still getting over it...If that helps ya'll with answering.
Rant-
You know whats crazy to me? The fact that I can't find a job I am passionate about. I'm still a teen, I know, and my options are thin because I don't have work experience or cause I'm not qualified, BUT WHY DOES THAT MEAN I HAVE TO WORK AT A SHITTY HARD WARE STORE/ FAST FOOD/ RETAIL???? It's like I am told to branch out and look into jobs that won't make me have a mental break down, but when I apply, I get that dreaded ; "Hello Mindy! We were so happy to have received your application and interest in our company, but sadly, you do not meet the criteria, being -" And that's when they fill in with all the shit I as a teen ager can not fulfill because I haven't been alive as long as others or cause they don't think I can handle their shit. NEWS FLASH OLIVE GARDEN I DONT NEED AN ASSOCIATES DEGREE AND TO BE OVER 18 TO WALK PEOPLE TO A TABLE, HAND THEM MENUS, AND SAY " Enjoy your meal!" LIKE ?????? I just don't get it. And I'm starting college in the fall and I have no fucking clue what I'm doing, no one in my family has been to college so I can't go to any one with questions, and I feel so alone and in the dark about everything. I'm trying to save up money but I love it so much, so I got a jar and super glued the top on it, cut a super skinny hole at the top so when I put money in it I can't get it back out, which is INSANE of me to do that I have such little self control but I HAVE TO DO IT IM OUT OF CONTROL AND WILL SAY ITS AN EMERGENCY BITPQDJDCBOQIWDCQ0WPH I dont even know, I'm just splurging.
Wait....You actually read it all??? NO YOU DIDNT YOU LITTLE LIAR YOU SKIMMED IT AT BEST!...Wait seriously? If only I could give hugs through computers XDDD If you really read all of that I am v proud of you, and I thank you for taking the time out of your day to stop by and read about my problems LOL I hope only the best for every one on this site, spread love and hope, not hate, and hope you all have a great day <3