A Drafting Table Named "Ashton" has stolen my heart...

*Cries*

ASHTON! WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY?!
 
*Pasha starts playing Stairway to Heaven while Lame drinks Vodka and Pegleg heckles people.*
 
*Pokes TK*

For 3 cans of oil and a sheet of tin foil I'll make him regret sleeping with another piece of furniture.
 
Nic, if you got the Iwakuian money, I got the power, and lack of morals!
 
*Whimpers* JUST BRING HIM BACK TO ME!
 
*Vasilev sets the table down and pulls up a chair. He slams a flag with the Hammer and Sickle down and takes a seat.*

Ahh, the Zone... How I missed this...

Kapitan, the Stalkers are arguing.

Let them argue. I have Vodka!

*Vasilev starts drinking, the Soviet National Anthem playing in the background.*
 
*Cries in betrayal*
 
Wait... I've heard of Polygamy going both ways.

Can't you marry both?
 
....Ashton's the jealous type...
 
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Screw it. I'll marry TK, the chair, and the table so they can have a nasty threesome!
 
*Deimon appears out of the shadows and glares at Julez.*

It's over, Julez...

Take your fucking table...


*Deimon slips back into the shadows.*
 
D-DEIMON!....

*Whimpers and the table starts rolling away from her*

SHIIIIIIIIIIIIII-!

*Crawls into her bed and cries*
 
...I'm still keeping the five grand...which is $4500 more than I offered.

*Escapes to vacation in Maui*
 
*Vasilev lights a cigarette.*

Well, we always hurt the ones we love.
 
*Whimpers and reads smut all by herself*
 
.......

Do I still get to be a bridesmaid? I want to wear a pretty dress. XD