A Drafting Table Named "Ashton" has stolen my heart...

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Hydronine, Jan 23, 2010.

  1. [​IMG]

    This is Ashton....

    He's long, hard, wooden, has slots for my supplies and lets me lay on top of him all the time.

    He can bend to face me better, and he's understanding of my AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME art work.

    He's the perfect size for me...

    Everything just fit PERFECTLY.

    And let me tell you, I've already used him once.... and it blew my mind....

    So... I'm sorry Jesse.... I'm marrying my drafting table... we're engaged and getting married in the summer... because if we do it in spring, if he gets any rain on him, he'll swell up and get disfigured....

    Oh, and I need people to be the brides maids, best men, and a wedding planner and a cake maker.

    I was thinking of using a kind of gothic-y style... like... a black wedding dress and red roses, and steak knifes on the tables being covered in blood, and having the reception in the C-box....
     
  2. Oh my god. . .

    *secretly covets drafting table!*

    CONGRADULATIONS, JULEZ ;_; YOU'LL MAKE A FINE COUPLE!

    I will help you in any way I can. . .
     
  3. And you shall be a bridesmaid!
     
  4. Can I go to the party and fuck one of the bridesmaids or something?
     
  5. Yes, Darkness, yes you can.... but only if Ashton and I can watch the said act of fucking.
     
  6. *A Global Hawk UAV flies overhead and takes multiple pictures of the table.*
     
  7. *Whimpers* I hope I wasn't too hard on him when I said you were better than him, Ashton...

    *The table is silent*

    Yeah.... love you too.
     
  8. *A 155mm Inert round lands nearby.*

    Warning shot complete. Withdrawing field arty.

    *Carl and an M-122 Sledgehammer howitzer withdraw.*
     
  9. ....

    Architect... senses.... tingling.
     
  10. *Whimers more and covers Ashton with her body*

    I WON'T LET THEM HURT YOU! I LOVE YOU!

    *Again, the table is silent*

    .....Y...you'd... you'd rather be attacked by a rogue woodchipper than leave me?....R-really?
     
  11. *A woodchipper lands nearby from out of nowhere.*
     
  12. *Julez is wheeled away, riding on top of Ashton*
     
  13. Wait, do I still get to fuck one of the bridesmaids?
     
  14. *A phone lands on Ashton.*

    Yew canno' run. Yew canno' reason. Yew canno' stop us.

    An' Ah won' stop comin' until yer deid...
     
  15. I think Ashton is a pretty cool guy.

    I'd design my dream house with him any day.
     
  16. YES! DARKNESS! YES! FUCK THEM ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! But we watch.

    *Pats Ashton's shelf*

    Ooooo! What a naughty boy! Your shelf is already halfway out!
     
  17. I would be honored to be a bridesmaid!!! Weee!!!
     
  18. Shit, dawg, my dad's been an architect for 40 years and he'd call you dumb for even thinking of not using a computer.
     
  19. Thank you Patty! And Darkness, suck a fat one. I love Ashton! He makes me feel smarter!
     
  20. I'm not saying anything against the table.

    It's against old school architecture.