A decision of war

D

DoomOtter

Guest
Original poster
K so this is kinda a side story to something I'm writing now This is only part of it

The night air was warm The warriors marched the prisoners through the woods, their spears ready to end anyone who tried to escape. Sakuras stroked her long ears, her force of wolf headed warriors pushed the elven prisoners along, bags over their heads. The elves had been almost completely stripped of their clothes, the ropes binding their wrists and keeping them tied together, cut into their skin, their feet were bleeding from the rock covered ground. Sakuras hit one of the elves savagely in the back with the blunt end of her spear. she yelled at them in her native tongue, which was unknown to her prisoners. They needed to get to the city of minterin quickly Queen Allamys would want to see these tress passers herself and Sakuras knew that she would be held responsible for their late arrival.

Queen Allamayas was impatiant as she sat on the throne of the Alpha of Minterin, General Amaroq her military counterpart stood to her left and slightly behind where she sat. Allamayas was not eager to give the entire nation to him, as many of the queens of the nation of akaris she felt war was a male obsession, that it was just something they used because they lacked the brains and civility of females. She looked down on the robes she wore, their colors were soft earth tones as all wolven wore. Hers were a beautiful green with some gray, her robes went all the way down to her paws, unlike most wolven attire which cut of midway down from the knee. she clasped her hands together tightly, thinking about the humans who had arrived in Akaris a few weeks ago, She had never seen a human before, and was surprised to see how much alike they were to her own kind, especially their hands.
The humans were captured on the shores of the northern sea, they claimed they were being chased by their enemies. The humans acted desperate, they begged her for assistance in a war they had claimed was being fought between the elves and their own kingdom. Allamayas would have had them executed them in an instant except one of them claimed to be the prince of that kingdom and claimed to be on a diplomatic mission. Allamayas was quite familiar with law and the anciant treaties made with the great alliance many centuries ago, the humans were not allowed in the lands of here people or of any other of the lands of the kalmayan, but this so called prince survived because the treaty did make an exception to diplomats. The humans were extremely lucky, apparently their entire kind had forgotten about the old treaties, no doubt they forgot them while they warred with each other.
The doors opened and a messenger walked in , he was a foxkin as the humans used to call them. " Sakuras of the northern rangers has arrived with the prisoners from the coast." the Foxkin said as he bowed down. "send her and the prisoners in" ordered the queen.

They walked in the royal guard escorting the bound prisoners into the room. They were forced onto their knees and the sackloth bags where taken from their heads. Again Allamayas was surprised at the creatures, They were fur less like the humans except the tops of their heads which was long and silk like, their ears were pointed unlike the humans more rounded ears, their hands where again just like her kinds, except that there was no fur.
The elves looked around in fear, until all of them focused on the queen. "sever their bindings" amaroq said with an authoritive if not bored tone in his voice. He was obeyed and the wolven guards obeyed without hesitance. The elves massaged their swollen and bleeding wrists but with a delicacy that Allamayas had never seen in a creature, the humans were hardy and strong, like her own people, these elves where slight and graceful like the Catfolk of the south.

"You are charged with breaking the treaty of namasun which is punishable by death." Allamayas said another Foxkin, interpreting her words from her native tongue to something she guessed was elven, or at least the common tongue of the eastern lands. "What brings you to the anciant lands?" she asked
The elves hesitated they looked more frightened than ever. This was going to be a long night Allamayas thought to herself as none of the strange creatures spoke.
 
It's very interesting. I'm looking forward to reading the rest. What is the Queen and her people? Elf of some sort? There I got a little confused. Cause human and elves are mentioned, but not quite sure what the queen and her people are.
 


I can definitely sense a dark mood in the story and it's an interesting read.
You have some punctuation, spelling and capitalization errors, but they're not so much of a big deal :]
Remember~~ for the most part, Spell Check is your best friend :D

I like that Allamayas is curious about the elves as she was about the humans. I'd like to see where this story goes, too =]


K so this is kinda a side story to something I'm writing now This is only part of it

The night air was warm. The warriors marched the prisoners through the woods, their spears ready to end anyone who tried to escape. Sakuras stroked her long ears, her force of wolf headed [Do you mean wolf-headed?] warriors pushed the elven prisoners along, bags over their heads. The elves had been almost completely stripped of their clothes, the ropes binding their wrists and keeping them tied together, [You don't need the comma. Without the comma, the sentence will continue with the ropes as the subject] cut into their skin. New sentence --> Their feet were bleeding from the rock-covered ground. Sakuras hit one of the elves savagely in the back with the blunt end of her spear. She yelled at them in her native tongue, which was unknown to her prisoners. They needed to get to the city of minterin quickly, Queen Allamys would want to see these trespassers herself and Sakuras knew that she would be held responsible for their late arrival.

Queen Allamayas was impatient as she sat on the throne of the Alpha of Minterin. (new sentence? :P) General Amaroq, her military counterpart stood to her left and slightly behind where she sat. Allamayas was not eager to give the entire nation to him, as many of the queens of the nation of akaris she felt war was a male obsession, that it was just something they used because they lacked the brains and civility of females. She looked down on the robes she wore, their colors were soft earth tones as all wolven wore. Hers were a beautiful green with some gray, her robes went all the way down to her paws, unlike most wolven attire which cut of midway down from the knee. She clasped her hands together tightly, thinking about the humans who had arrived in Akaris a few weeks ago, She had never seen a human before, and was surprised to see how much alike they were to her own kind, especially their hands.
The humans were captured on the shores of the northern sea, they claimed they were being chased by their enemies. The humans acted desperate, they begged her for assistance in a war they had claimed was being fought between the elves and their own kingdom. Allamayas would have had them executed them in an instant except one of them claimed to be the prince of that kingdom and claimed to be on a diplomatic mission. Allamayas was quite familiar with law and the ancient treaties made with the great alliance many centuries ago, the humans were not allowed in the lands of here people or of any other of the lands of the kalmayan, but this so called prince survived because the treaty did make an exception to diplomats. The humans were extremely lucky, apparently their entire kind had forgotten about the old treaties, no doubt they forgot them while they warred with each other.
The doors opened and a messenger walked in , he was a foxkin as the humans used to call them. " Sakuras of the northern rangers has arrived with the prisoners from the coast." the Foxkin said as he bowed down. "send her and the prisoners in" ordered the queen.

They walked in the royal guard escorting the bound prisoners into the room.
(Something is a little off in this sentence. They walked in AND the royal guard escorted the prisoners? Or they walked in WHILE the royal guard escorted the prisoners? I wasn't sure)They were forced onto their knees and the sackloth bags where taken from their heads. Again Allamayas was surprised at the creatures, They were fur less like the humans except the tops of their heads which was long and silk like, their ears were pointed unlike the humans more rounded ears, their hands where again just like her kinds, except that there was no fur.
The elves looked around in fear, until all of them focused on the queen. "sever their bindings" amaroq said with an authoritative, if not bored tone in his voice. He was obeyed and the wolven guards obeyed without hesitance. The elves massaged their swollen and bleeding wrists but (There isn't really a need for "but") with a delicacy that Allamayas had never seen in a creature, the humans were hardy and strong, like her own people, these elves where slight and graceful like the Catfolk of the south.

"You are charged with breaking the treaty of namasun which is punishable by death." Allamayas said another Foxkin, interpreting her words from her native tongue to something she guessed was elven, or at least the common tongue of the eastern lands. "What brings you to the ancient lands?" she asked
The elves hesitated they looked more frightened than ever. This was going to be a long night ,Allamayas thought to herself as none of the strange creatures spoke.
 
Ok sorry I am out of practice so my punctuation and grammer and all that is really bad. anyways to elaborate a little more, The queen and her poeple are called wolven by the other races, the best way I could describe them is just saying they look like the worgen from WOW. They have a dislike of humans and elves and have been isolated from them for a long time.
I'm in the process of moving so I can't write anything right now, but I will try to do some this weekend.
 
Boy's been on his mission for the last two years.

Getting back soon, methinks. More practice getting in that mindset coming his way. D&D ftw.