5 Reasons you WANT a Zombie Apocalypse

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#6: Look at what the black death did in europe, after the apocalypse, fewer workers = more worker rights or we go work somewhere else bitch.
 
#7: I've got 99 problems and killing zombies ain't one of them. *embraces all that HARD, MORALLY EXHAUSTING BRAIN BUSTING*


Actually, I've been thinking the same thing at the beginning of the article...Why is there so much zombie-preparedness stuff out there now? IS SOMETHING GOING TO HAPPEN? It wouldn't be the first time that someone nerdy would say, "I told you so!" when other people are catching a bad case of the dead.

I kind of always suspected zombies would be a problem though...when I was like 6 years old up until I was about, 9-ish, I kept a 'zombie survival kit' hidden under my bed inside a Garfield-head backpack. When I look back on what I put in there I don't think I would have survived more than a couple weeks if I wasn't eaten by someone first...
 
I have various sharp things scattered around my room, wouldn't like going toe to toe with an entire hoard though and my crossbow's rite of fire won't hold them back. My plan is the oldest in history. Head for the hills. Rough terrain make bottlemecks and less chance of a deadie finding its way to me and my wild-land survival skills are pretty good thanks to a self-sufficiency pushing dad.
 
#8- People stop giving you crap about owning just ONE GUN . . . and actually now encourage MULTIPLE GUNS. Damned hypocrites.


I'm seriously WAITING for that moment. Just for the shits & giggles of pointing & laughing.
 
#9: "It's the ultimate in weight loss!"

What better way is there to lose weight than by running for dear life from the shambling hordes of undead? What better motivation is there than knowing that if you don't put some distance between yourself and the zombies, you'll become their next meal or, worse yet, one of them?
 
You guys aren't funny like the ones from the article.
 
#10. Haters gonna hate. Zombies that were haters as humans will to continue to hate long after they've turned. . . like if say. . . DARKNESS became a zombie.
 
see, darky has a point.

anyone points and laughs at me for not owning a gun cops an axe to the face (or some harsh words), you see, if i had a gun, i would have eaten it (Read: blown the back of my fucking head off) quite some time ago.

axes are painful ways of dying, and i am a coward when it comes to pain, hence my being alive.

in any case, in times of zombie uprisings, id grab an axe, go to a mates place and get their sword, then proceed to leave the outer melbourne suburb i live in, i would make my way to my mates joint, whereupon we move to his freinds place to arm pourselves with firearms.

then theres the whole id probably die because i now dont have a car and my amtes joint is 45 minutes drive.

then again its fukitol, im gonna do my best to lower zombie numbers.

die a glorious death.

but a death will most likely be extraordinarily agonising and quite possibly drive me insane (what, with large chunks of flesh being BITTEN OFF ie:BIG FUCKING PINCH THEN THE FLESH TEARS, THEN THE MUSCLES TEAR, ALL THE WHILE THIS FUCKING HURTS YOU LOTS. REMEMBER KIDS, SOMEONE BITING YOU AND LEAVING TEETHMARKS IS NOTHING COMPARED TO HAVING A CHUNK OF FLESH BITTEN OFF!)

so yeah.

TL:DR?: WMD cracks the shits then explaisn why in terms of zombie apocalypse, a. he's dead, b. its gonna fucking hurt, but pain is temporary, knowing that you died doing whats right lasts, well, till you die i guess.
 
Why do we want a zombie apocalypse?

Because we need a zombie apocalypse. We've grown too large, and without any natural predator to keep us in check, it'll only continue. But no normal predator will do, we need something unnatural, unstoppable. The zombie. Creatures with unlimited stamina and hunger, thinning out the population with ease, thinning out those who should have died if natural selection had it's way.
Natural selection. Practically a zombie itself. Kept undead by clinging on to those stupid enough to draw too close. A husk of what once kept a balance of life on this planet. But it'll make it's comeback. In the form of a shuffling corpse, its only wish is to see you between its gnawing teeth. Or one of them. It doesn't matter.
And what else? We need a zombie apocalypse because we need fear. We've grown comfy. Cozy, even. What other creature can walk outside without a care in the world? But imagine every time you left the safety of your home, it would be your last. That fear would cause us to grow stronger in the way we were meant to be. In the way the world intended. We wouldn't overcome problems by letting those smarter or stronger than ourselves fix it, but by getting our own hands dirty. Our success and failures would be ours and ours alone.
And in that moment, surrounded by death, we would finally be alive.


Darkness said:
You guys aren't funny like the ones from the article.
Click to expand...

Wait, I mean...

#723459 cuz zombuz r totaly fun2kill m i rite? lol!!!!!

...

lol...
 
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