1x1 advice for someone used to group RPs?

Moogle-Girl

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I work full time, so I'm usually not on until after 6PM EST on weekdays. (Weekends are free game though.)
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Urban/modern fantasy, psychological horror, fandom using OCs (no canon characters except in mentions!)
I've spent most of my roleplaying time in group RPs. When I first joined Iwaku (years ago), I had tried a few one-on-one roleplays and found that they just couldn't hold my interest. It felt weirdly intimate, hashing out this story with just one other person, and I struggled to get myself to break the ice and socialize. In the end I decided 1x1s weren't for me, and I've had that message about it in my signature ever since.

These days though, I've been feeling antsy. I spend a ton of time developing my characters by myself, but I have so few people to share them with and little to no opportunities to thrust them into situations I don't devise on my own. Group roleplays are less popular and don't last nearly as long, which I'm slowly getting frustrated with. I'm thinking that maybe it's been long enough where I should give 1x1s another chance.

I want to start from the ground up and get a better idea of what makes a 1x1 successful, especially when it differs from what makes group RPs successful. How should I get started? What important etiquette should I know? What if I can't post every day, or even every other day? How does one craft a sprawling story on the same level of variety, depth, and mystery as a group RP led by a single GM, when there's only the two of you? Or are things usually more focused on a handful of characters by the RP's nature? What about plot twists -- are they usually cleared with your partner first, or is the element of surprise still a thing? Anything else I should know?

Thank you very much for reading! :D
 
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My best advice: be open in communication. Let your partner know you're new to it, and don't be afraid to ask questions! The thing with 1x1 is that everyone does it differently, from character focus to plot twists, and even speed. Some of my partners respond multiple times a day, and others, I'm lucky for once in two months!

Most people will let you know what they expect if you ask, so don't be shy with questions! <3
 
I've actually gone through the same thing. I tried getting into 1x1s early in RPing only to have trouble and converted to purely groups, before getting sick of those dying the way they do and instead switching almost purely to 1x1s.

What I'd say is start with people you like talking to as it is and feel comfortable squeeing about your characters with.

Second, the key is communication.

All of those questions you asked about "what if I can't post every day? Can I make plot twists by surprise or do you want to talk through them together?" Actually don't have solid rules. It really just depends on what your partner likes to do or what they don't care either way with you doing. I have a partner, for instance, who only posts like once every couple months and this really doesn't bother me, because from how much we talk, I know she isn't losing interest enough to bail, and I myself can post anywhere from the same day to one post a month depending on how badly my life gets stressful. I have partners who let me keep secrets and drive forward some of the plot spontaneously, and some who we've discussed everything to death about.

Don't think of it like a dinner party or a business meeting. There's no real observed etiquette except don't be a douche and don't godmod, so just discuss however makes you feel comfortable.

The real difference between groups and 1x1s is that someone else controls the plot and setting. If that makes you more comfortable, find a partner who prefers to take the lead. But it doesn't limit you to making any less complex and intricate worlds and plots. They do typically focus on a smaller set of characters, but hey the upside is your main character never falls by the way side third wheeling as a character whose actions don't have consequences. It's also pretty typical for people to play multiple characters at once, which means there will also be scenes you can write on your own for transition scenes or your character's backgrounds etc.

I get the feeling that 1x1s feel almost limited and too intimate, but it really helps if you look at it instead as having more power/control, and by merit of that also having more possibilities. If you have lots of ideas, don't be afraid to spitball them. 1x1ers love hypothetical situations which they can add their characters' thoughts and actions to in chat. :D