"1v1 me scroob Ill rek u"

[IntrusivePenDesperateSword]

This roleplay isn't a very serious one, if you couldn't tell from the title. The rules go as such, pick whichever character you'd like, canon or not, and you'll fight mine in a battle to the death.

In many ways, this roleplay is unlike most of the others one see around here. For one, GODMODING IS ENCOURAGED. I know, this is going to be the longest battle ever, but it's just for fun.
Second rule is, as the joining part, you write the starter. You dictate the "plot" it doesn't have, I'll dish up an area.
Third and final rule, when joining, no bio is required, but care to describe your character in your first post.

Oh, also, please be able to write at least five sentences.

 

[Crono]

A mass of crimson drifted down a icy sidewalk, the faint clunk of metal sounding from within. The mass was a red cloak with blackish pinstripes so dence that the entire fabric appeared darker as it drifted down the path in a unwavering, constant motion. The man inside the cloak was more of a tower, standing at seven feet tall and four wide, joggers in the crisp air had to very briefly go onto the street in order to move around him. The only part of the towering man that was not hidden by the cloak was his bald head pale as a corpse, with black goggles that made it look like a empty skull until the collar of the cloak covered his mouth and nose. Perched on the left shoulder of this silent behemoth was a small, black, winged lizard with ruby eyes dripping malice.

"Dripping malice? Really?" We've had this talk before. "Yeah, you gotta sound cooler than you are but dripping malice sounds stupid." Who's the writer here? "I couldn't tell, seems to me like a two year old." Shut up, I need to tell why- "why me and The Guy are going to fight? That's easy, we were payed to kill this dude's character by a 'mysterious benefactor', he's a bounty hunter." But, but... fine. As the snappy dragon argued with the author the bounty hunter came to a sudden stop. He had found his target.

"Pretty crappy way to end it off-" shut up.

 

[IntrusivePenDesperateSword]

Indeed, it was his target standing right up front. This man, unnaturally small, almost the size of a child, was dressed in a red sweater, jeans with braces, and locks of medium long, brown hair sticking out from the backside of his red hat. As the bounty hunter approached the man, an ominous presence filled the abandoned harbor, as the man's head started spinning. A deep voice, echoing through the entire area, said such to the bounty hunter. "Why have thee come here? Here is but death and disorder!"

His head positioned back in its normal place, the man turned around, revealing his face, of which a wide, black mustache was the most prominent freature. His otherwise round and friendly face held a blank expression, until it the next moment didn't. His entire body, as if by magic, did before you could blink, transorm into a wooden sign, a paper note nailed to it. Without moving any part of itself, the sign glided along the ground towards the man and his lizard.

 

[Crono]

The sentinel seemed unfazed by his target's question, however his hairless head turned to the small dragon, who gave a annoyed expression. "We just discussed this moron. Bounty. Hunter." He gave small nod and turned back to the opponent who was now... a sign. The man took a molment to register what he was seeing before shaking his head, and with a small 'click' his cloak fell off.

The man's clothes had the same pinstripe pattern as the cloak, a large shirt with huge sleeves and long pants of a slightly darker red. However what was more pressing was the clawed, black metal gauntlets and boots at the end of said sleeves and pants. With one quick movement the man was in the air, leaping towards the sign and bringing his armored fist down to smash it to splinters. The serpent, still on The Guy's shoulder, gave a cruel snicker with small crimson embers escaping its mouth.

 

[IntrusivePenDesperateSword]

Being a sign, one would think it couldn't sense The Guy incoming from above, yet somehow, right before impact with his clawed gauntlet, the sign, now transformed back to the short man as quickly as last time, was flung backwards with immense force, doing a backwards u-turn before heading towards the guy again, this time at a considerably higher speed. Stopping, he turned around to face The Guy, letting out a high-pitched "Yoohoo!" before going in for an amateurish jumpkick.

The mans mind was empty. Not a though went through his head. His body was simply a figure, significantly cartoonsih at that, controlled by another force. While this force was utterly destructive and chaotic, it's domain of control was at times not limited to the short man alone. As if sttempting to show this to its opponent, a song started playing in the background. A lovely tune indeed, each tone made up by the short man's screams in different pitches. The sound echoed through the surrounding storage containers, around the three.

 

[Xytheus]

Suddenly, a bright spotlight shined above them. The loud sound of helicopter rotors could be heard. The light shifted out of their eyes to reveal it was mounted on a large blue helicopter. The heli rapidly descended until it crashed flat on its belly. The fixed landing gear broke and the tail snapped in two on the landing. The main rotors slowly came to a halt.

A lone figure descend from above the helicopter in a parachute, and landed on top of it. He was tall and of meditterranean origin. A weird device was fastened to his left wrist. He pointed it at the bounty hunter. He drew an SMG from a leg holster and pointed it at the short man. "I'm going to give both of you one chance to surrender. If not, I'm going to have to kill you." He spoke with a spanish/italian accent.

 

[Crono]

The Guy was surprised and seemingly pleased that his opponent was able to not be turned into a bloody pancake by his first attack. The small dragon however was annoyed by the music. "Wow, that's a little fucking aggravating. Why am I here again?" Do you want the cheesy answer or the moderately cheesy answer? "Moderately cheesy." Your my insurance that I'll win. "Ugh, what's the cheesy one?" Your my secret weapon. "UGH." The serpent seemed close to regurgitating when the helicopter and it's probable owner came from the sky.

At this molment the Guy was watching the short man come at him with a jumpkick. Hearing his new opponent arrive the Guy moved his head back slightly to throw the mustached man off and sent a hand up to grab his leg. If this succeeded the Guy would then throw the short man at the helicopter dude. If not, he would be very displeased.

 

[IntrusivePenDesperateSword]

As The Guy's hands grabbed the short man's leg, he tried pulling it out of his grasp, but to no avail. Instead, he turned to face the guy, his dead, lifeless eyes meeting his. Seeing as he was captured, the force controlling him saw only one way out of this, or rather, a way to ensure his survival for a while. It said, with its distant and inaudible voice: "Technique four!"


The man started blinking. Not blinking as in colorful, but rather a fast animation with two frames in which one is his body, and the other is empty. For the time being, this didn't change The Guy's hold around his legs, as all it did so far was to give him temporary invisibility lasting shorter than you can blink, but the man atop the helicopter, pointing an SMG at him, was now the one to be surprised.

 

[Xytheus]

When the short fighter was thrown at him Rico pointed the strange device at him. It fired a long cable that attached itself to the short man. Rico then pointed the device at the tallest stack of containers and fired again. The short man was now attached to the crate via a wire that reeled him in and pinned him to the side of the crate. While that would hold him for a few seconds, Rico turned his attention to the bounty hunter.

He unclipped a grenade looking cylander from his belt and threw it at him. The beacon flashed red and beeped as it flew through the air at him. When it stopped at his feet a jet flew overhead and dropped a large cargo container on the bounty hunters position. He would surely be squished if he didn't move in 2 seconds.

 

[Crono]

The Guy looked up, seeing the jet zoom across the air, its cargo bay steadily opening. He looked over to the serpent on his shoulder and scratched its chin with a single armored finger. "Come on. Why do I have to do it?" The bounty hunter simply continued to stare at his companion until it finally rolled its pupiless eyes and took a deep breath.

The cargo container was about seven feet away when the dragon shot up a massive cloud of red flame and gas that consumed the entire crate. A ear-splitting sound like a thousand angry snakes echoed throughout the harbor as the flaming gas corroded the entire container and its contents. The dragon coughed and wheezed, "never a-fucking-gain." Then the bounty hunter took another running-leap-punch this time at Rico.

 

[IntrusivePenDesperateSword]

The short man swung with the cable he was now attached to, yelling before smashing into the containers. Not even slightly bulking it, the man did but stare at the other two continue, while the force controlling him was readying its next move. "So they think they can hold me up, huh? Don't think so. Technique ten!" Slamming its fist onto a button labelled "10", awaiting the results of it.

And indeed, in the blink of an eye, like most of its attacks so far, all was made like it was before they met. The bounty hunter again spproaching his target, and the mediterranean man back in midair."Why have thee come here? Here is but death and disorder!"

 

[Xytheus]

Rico prepared to block the punch, but it never came. Somehow he was back inside his helicopter. "What the..?" He was a short distance from the docks. He maneuvered back over the containers where he had originally been fighting. The bounty hunter and the red italian were both back where they were when he got there. "Wait a minute. Did that 8bit midget just turn back time?" Rico flew overhead and shined the choppers light on them. The miniguns mounted on the rails spun up and prepared to fire. As did the missile launchers. This time he was going straight for the kill.

 

[Crono]

Oh, dear. The small dragon looked around, relizing everything had been reset. "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!" Now now, calm down."I WILL NOT CALM THE FUCK DOWN! YOU'VE TRAPPED ME IN A DAMN TIME LOOP FIGHTING THE SOULLESS HUSK OF A ITALIAN PLUMBER!" I realize that and apologize, but there's not really anythi- "WELL THEN THINK OF SOMETHING YOU IDIOT."

The black pit that was the Guy's mind began to feel anger at the rewind, while his body showed none of it. As the lizard continued to rant at what seemed like nothing the bounty hunter looked up to see Rico's helicopter preparing to open fire. Without skipping a beat he thrust forward one arm, sending out from his sleeve to his hand what a normal human being would see as a broad bladed sword but to him was more of a knife. The knife was attached to a chain that dissappeared into his sleeve and lengthened as the Guy began to spin it. Soon the knife and chain was spinning almost as fast as the helicopter's blades and was released, sending it at the chopper at breakneck speeds. The chain seemed infinite in length, never stopping as the Guy pointed his arm at the helicopter.

 

[IntrusivePenDesperateSword]

The man did, just like last time, turn into the sign, gliding along the ground towards the man. What was different this time, was the other signs standing in a circle around the entire area. In a short, gradual movement they all grew to about twice their previous, and the man's current, size. Unlike him, they stood still. The sign that in a way was the man turned to a barrel nearby, jumping on it. As he landed on it, which again didn't even slightly bulk it, he launched into the air at a ridicolous speed, arriving at around the height of the helicopter, as his speed stopped, taking him back to the ground.

The force behind him grinned widely. Things were going just according to plan. The lizard's whining and Rico's annoyed comment was exactly what it wanted. Its opponent's irritation and repetitive mental agony was what made its time worth it.

 

[Xytheus]

When the bounty hunter pointed his weapon at the helicopter Rico engaged. A torrent of bullets and rockets were launched at the bounty hunter. Rico had temporarily forgotten about the small italian and focused his attention on the bounty hunter and his lizard. Suddenly, a voice crackled on his radio.

Dimah: Rico, rebel reinforcements are their way, are the skies clear?
Rico: Si.

A few seconds later two trucks drove into the fight. Eight soldiers in mismatched gear jumped out and started shooting at anything that moved.

 

[Crono]

"Crap." The lizard for a molment forgot about his rather obnoxious- "I fucking heard that you asswipe." -... Complaining, and looked up at the impending missiles as well as bullets. The Guy also saw them and began to run to the right, long strides more then actual speed allowing him to cover ground quickly. The movement had thrown off his shot, so while he still held his arm up as firmly as possible the knife was going to miss its target, the engine.

No the knife did not hit the engine, insead it clipped across the side of Rico's helicopter and smashed into the back propeller... thing. I'm not quite sure what that's called actually.

>One Google Search Later<

A tail rotor, that's what it's called! "Very professional."

As for the mismatched soldiers and shots the helicopter did fire: the Guy managed to avoid being exploded, but a few of he machine gun bullets caught his shoulder and back. The soldiers fired into the man, he was rather hard to miss, rather effectively. The dragon dodged the bullets shot at it by swiftly slithering about the Guy's form, and proseeded to taunt the gunmen with a mocking wave.

 

[IntrusivePenDesperateSword]

[BCOLOR=transparent]The loud blaffering of air was all the man could hear as he was in free-fall from far above the harbor. Nonetheless Rico's soldiers seemed to notice him, surrounding him with bullets. Some hit, dealing great damage to him, but while he was still alive, the chaos would not stop. Still somewhat in the air, he was sent flying towards the water, again at great speed. With a loud splash he entered the water, his wounds slowly healing as he swam back to the harbor.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]Not moving, the signs were quickly ignored by the incoming troop of soldiers, once more putting a smile on the face of chaos. Those signs were its trusted minions, each vastly powerful, yet aggrevatingly simple-minded. As the force flicked a lever, the sings turned invisible, leaving only their shadow behind. Turning another lever, and in their place became hats, all similar to the one the short man was wearing, but much bigger, and with long, feathery wings on the back.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]They simply laid on the concrete ground for a while, depending on someone to direct their focus towards them to start moving. Well, once looked at they'd first turn transparent and immobile, but once the person looking at them diverted their gaze, THEN they'd start moving, albeit in a straight, unchangeable line. They emitted a dreadful, fearsome aura, sginalling their ability of quickly draining the life of anything making contact.[/BCOLOR]