Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Delusional IIV Idol, Jun 16, 2016.

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  1. Someone was talking about how roleplaying is either a positive or negative influence on self-confidence, I would say both but then again I haven't been roleplaying long enough to even figure that out. Most people see me posting around the forums or god forbid changing my username and hoping to find new partners, people change their usernames all the time but for me it feels like my confidence goes up every single time I change my username. I always hated who I was and who I was going to be, I'm the oldest in my family besides my twin brother and have nothing going for my life, I don't have any classes at my community college (it's strange how I haven't been kicked out of school), can't go get a job because I'm worried that my mental disability will affect my job editic and to be honest I think I will be fired because of it. I am now hearing sucidial and or depressing voices echoing through my head on a daily basis, roleplay was a way for me to tune them out but it seems that might not be the case anymore. I am on medication and am safe, but sometimes it feels like I am loosing control. I want to be a more postive person who shines and honestly almost reached a point in my life where I have give up, negative opnions aside I am wondering if there are any options left for me?
  2. :/ I definitely think you should ask a professional about all these issues. I know you said you're already on medication, but is there a therapist you're seeing to deal with these kinds of things? Getting a self-esteem boost from changing your name because you hate your former self that much just doesn't seem like a healthy mindset to be in. These are some deep issues and I for one don't see myself as being equipped to deal with them.
  3. I know that society may seem designed to bring you down if fail to be like everyone else - and not having a job is one of those things that just makes one feel useless, down and depressed... but try to think of things this way, most people hate their job, a job is what you do to survive cause you need money, surviving is not living, living is what you do with the rest of your time - so that's pretty much what you do :)
    If you can't get a job, either cause it's hard or cause your mental issue render it near impossible, try to apply for something like early retirement due mental incapability to work.
    Then focus on your free time on enjoying, it doesn't have to be just what you do for society, fuck that, most people are selfish assholes anyway and would rather do nothing for no one if they could live like that... just have fun, do what you like to do, read, RP, play games, listen to music, watch movies... I don't know - it's your life, embrace your freedom!
    Also if you are good and passionate enough about your hobbies you may consider something like a youtube channel - if you have something really cool going on and a bunch of followers you can even get money out of it...
    There are a bunch of online tools nowadays designed to help you earn money without an actual job but rather from exploiting your hobbies and what you are good and passionate about... search about stuff like patreon for example...

  4. I'm not really sure why I keep wanting to change my name, maybe because I want to change who I am and feel like the only way I can do is to restart over and over again. I feel better right now but there are times when these things weight me down and the small pleasures such as roleplaying or even writing pulls me down.
    I do focus on things I enjoy it is why I gave up on the roleplay site that gave me so much heartache in the first place, but coming here I feel like I will have the same experiences, such as it's happening now. I am barely able to hold onto one roleplay without someone deciding to up and leave me.
  5. Listen. People drop RP's. It happens. I think what's happening is that you're taking it all too personally. :/

    It's hard to find someone that you roleplay with perfectly. And when things don't work out, well... you can't force someone to keep RPing with you if it isn't working well on their end. The problem is, a lot of people don't say that they want out, and instead just leave without a word, usually because they're just too nervous to say anything. :/ They don't want to hurt your feelings by saying they don't want to RP anymore, so they avoid the confrontation. Of course, not saying anything just hurts so much more, but, a lot of people either don't realize that, or are too nervous to care.

    But, here's the thing, as well... are you pressuring partners to stay with you? I don't know if this is the case, but, if you emphasize how much you want a partner to stay with you and never leave then, well, that might just be making things worse. People might say "sure! I won't drop!" and you'll RP together real well at first, but then when you clash, and the other person isn't liking the RP anymore, they might feel like a bad person for promising to stick with you and then wanting out, which only makes a silent drop out more likely as, again, people are afraid of confrontation. :/ I think, if you want things to go more smoothly, just tell players up front that you'd rather they say something if they want out than to drop out silently, and then actually show it. Don't pressure people to stay, tell them they can leave if they want, and you'll have partners who are a lot more comfortable telling you what's up and won't be avoidant about these kinds of things.

    But again, the big thing I want to stress is, this isn't just you. Lots of RP's end with people dropping out. It happens. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you or your RPing. I think you're looking at something that is, unfortunately, a common RP phenomenon, and using it as an excuse to think that everyone hates you, or that you're a bad person or something, and neither of those things are true. Dropouts just... happen, and you'll kind of have to deal with that. I'm only bringing it up to tell you that it's not you, it's just the nature of the game. There's no need to beat yourself up about this kind of thing.
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