A Glimpse at the Heart of the Shadows

Cold

Trapped in this world, alive but alone,
The cold creeps in as I reach out and yearn,
And the frost on my heart makes it sink like a stone.

I wait for an escape to make itself known,
With no one to save me and nowhere to turn,
Trapped in this world, alive but alone.

As the freeze creeps in and bites to the bone,
The pain sets in and the nerves begin to burn,
And the frost on my heart makes it sink like a stone.

There's nothing left, I'm all on my own,
The cold meets the loneliness, the warmth never returns,
Trapped in this world, alive but alone.

Curling up to endure this internal winter, I groan,
Is this life, or is it death? I can no longer discern,
And the frost on my heart makes it sink like a stone.

Staring without hope into the menacing unknown,
Wondering what I've done to be put in this hell I've earned,
Trapped in this world, alive but alone,
And the frost on my heart makes it sink like a stone.
 
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House of Cards

Slowly, carefully, each card is set,
Until the perfect point of balance is met.
The peak is complete, but we're not done yet,
To make sure that the delicate balance isn't upset.
Years spent with cards used to build rather than to bet.
And then the wind picks up.
 
In The Dark (Iwaku Poetry Challenge)

Turn on a light, and the shadows slink away,
But the darkness within draws nearer every day.
Inside, where night reigns on forevermore,
The light is merely a casualty of war.

"Inside, where night reigns on forevermore,
the light is merely a casualty of war."
That is such an interesting sentiment! The sense of depth that evokes, both in terms of literary analysis and of introspective revelation (the inside made me immediately reflect to my moral character) is really, really powerful, and the subversion of the usual trope hammers that point in really well.

One suggestion, and one note, though. First, the suggestion: most modern poetry use the conveniences of the digital age in printing things to make the poems easier to read, and for a dude who keeps dissing me for using "old-timey" sounds, I'm surprised you haven't caught on to the trend. That is, unless it's the beginning of a new sentence, (or it's a deliberate stylistic choice, in imitating old farts) you don't need to capitalize the first word of your lines.

And the note: "forevermore" and "war" don't rhyme. They slant rhyme, sure, but it's a stretch of a slant. Not that that's a problem or anything -- the slant, I think, is pretty appropriate for the turn here. Great poem!
 
RiverNotch said:
And the note: "forevermore" and "war" don't rhyme.
Click to expand...
It's a miracle, I've finally had a breakthrough with him. That being said, I think this may just be a matter of nationality. Most Americans pronounce war the same way they pronounce wore.

Also, the capitalization is a personal choice. I hate starting a new line with non-capitalized letters, I don't know why.
 
Of course you'd call the one nice thing I tell you a "breakthrough".

I can fully assure you that it wasn't you -- for one, do you know how hard it is to state a thorough work of criticism on the cbox? And I have plenty more to say than that, especially about the others; this just isn't a critical forum.
 
By breakthrough, I meant that I finally came up with something that got to your emotions. Cold hearted SOB.
 
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Opia

As I open my eyes and let them drift across the room,
They suddenly lock upon yours, watching in the gloom.
My heart skips a beat and then my pulse quickens,
And air becomes precious as my throat thickens,
While I reach out and search in the windows to your soul,
The sensation within, a welcoming warmth and chilling cold.
As my eyes scan your own, I feel invaded yet free,
And as I open myself up and delve into you, I feel you do the same to me.
 
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Untitled

Every night, when I close my eyes,
The wind kicks up the cold inside,
That grips this tortured heart of mine,
This loneliness that haunts the mind,
And this vile darkness that looms in kind,
Would be no more if your light would shine.
 
Nightmare (Iwaku Poetry Challenge)

Fingers curled into claws, clutching the sheets,
He awoke with a start in the midst of his sleep.
The screams of the wind like that of a banshee,
Eyes open wide, it was still impossible to see.
Alone in the dark, chained but set free,
And the terror within made it hard to breathe.
 
The Road to Darkness (Poetry month challenge)

It's a barren road that I walk alone,
With not a sound but my feet upon the stone.
With no one beside me and nowhere to go,
I push myself onward through rain, sun or snow.
I shoulder my burdens, a crushing weight on my back,
And march ever onward, the world around me growing black.
And as death takes the landscape around my lonely path,
The outer world begins to reflect the inner aftermath.
 
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Selfless (Work In Progress)

Who am I?
I'm a breath in the wind, gone in the blink of an eye,
Fighting day after day to stop living a lie,
But who am I?

I'm a poet, putting the beauty of life to paper,
Writing out the pain, suffering to feel what I savor,
Trying to keep my head above water while I yearn for a savior.

I'm a wandering mind, a vagrant soul,
Left drifting on an endless midnight stroll,
And I've come too far to know which way is home.
I'm a broken shell, with pieces missing and not wholly well.
 
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The Silence Speaks

The silence screams to me
In deafening blasts of thought,
Anger and fear, fists and tears,
Echoes of the pain you've wrought.

The silence speaks to me
In words of rest and peace.
Drawn in like the arms of a friend,
To where the chaos will cease.

The silence whispers to me
In breathy, vivid dreams.
The world bleeding from my pen,
As my ink pulls it together at the seams.
 
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Untitled

I look around and find that mankind has declined
To sheep, resigned to a life that's a kick in the teeth.
Our lives are defined by the daily grind,
And so I'm inclined to remind the blind
Of just what they signed for on that dotted line;
Underline the finer point that we're not fine, we undermine,
Not moving forward but falling behind.
I see innocent people being pined for being kind,
So they keep their morals confined behind close cards and safeguards;
The chains that bind an empty mind.
 
Untitled

In a world as dark as blackest night,
Their souls cast glows like fire light
Flocked together to fend off the dusk,
While he watched from a distance,
A light burning dim inside an empty husk.
Their light beckoned, and its warmth in part,
But it only sparked fear within his heart,
And within his mind, thoughts in kind, of
Being out of place when among their race,
Of being a disgrace, being erased.
So he hid, yearned but never reached,
Built up his walls so they could never breach.
Now he sits alone, hurting to the bone,
Torn apart by a life on his own,
Leaving broken pieces of him littered,
While within, his dimming light flickered.
 
Person Like A Puzzle Piece

I'm a person like a puzzle piece
Looking for my other half
The other missing part of me
My life, completion's epitaph.
 
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Untitled

I don't know myself anymore,
My face is lost under this mask of war.
My reflection has shattered,
My spirit is battered,
And I don't even know what it's all for.
 
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